It's scary out there!! (venting)

poisondartfrogJune 5, 2009

I don't know where best to post this but I feel compelled to post somewhere. There are three or four forums on GW that I frequent regularly and post to now and then. I monitor a few more that I have found useful or interesting but rarely post to.

This morning I visited a couple that I have recently become interested in. I read a post on the Farm Forum that I thought I could contribute something to but by the time I got to the end where I could post myself, the original questioner had been savaged by a respondent in a thoroughly ugly and unwarranted way. I moved on to the Perennial Forum, and started reading a post about Echinacea. Two of the posters apparently have a long standing feud going and an unpleasant back and forth comprised most of the exchange.

Differences of opinion are healthy and helpful, but personal attacks leave me feeling uncomfortable and sorry I wasted my time-not what I come here for.

I'll be sticking close to home for a while.

Alana

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jim_6b(TN)

I read the same post about Echinacea. It happens sometimes. I wouldn't worry to much about it.
jim_6b

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 9:01AM
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medontdo(8)

i know the feeling, i used to come here all the time, it was my favorite place to be, but then i started noticing all the bickering in some forums, some of them i actually liked. i quite going to them a while after telling them they acted worse than my little kids. **sigh** the bad part is... on here you can't read if someone is saying something meanly or joking, so people take it the wrong way. so i use alot of ** blah** LOL so people know what i'm talking about. but yep, it isn't what it used to be, "the forums,"

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 2:40PM
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dorisl(5)

yeah, go to the soil forum and talk about putting bread (lots of it) in your compost bin, that'll get annpat going too....

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 9:07PM
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jim_6b(TN)

If you want to see something scary, go to the Hot Topics forum.
jim_6b

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 9:20PM
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana(zone 5/6)

If you want to see something scary, go to the Hot Topics forum.
Yeah, I know. I occasionally lurk there a bit if all my other favorites are slow, but I won't post, because no matter what stand you take on a matter, there will likley be someone who will disagree with you, or argue with you, or flame you.

There was recently a lively one at Electrical Wiring, where there was a lot of name calling, but it has since been pulled. I wasn't sure if the one who got everyone enraged was a troll, or just didn't know his electrical code. I gotta admit, it was really pretty funny.

Alana, I had to go a read the Echinacea thread (cause that is what busy bodies do), and I thought it was pretty mild, compared to so many things. I kind of compared it to the differences of Post Offices across the country...some are great and some are beyond awful....if ya know what I mean....

I couldn't find the bad one at the Farm Forum, but I didn't read very many.

I'll have to go do a search on that member name and bread at Soil when things are slow. I know some of them folks are a different breed.

Sue

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 10:23PM
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medontdo(8)

i know what you mean about that annapat, theres one in the green or recycling forum with fat balheaded guy or something like that and another guy who obviously just felt the need to just make everyone talk and make him feel better cuz he worked so much. he was rude!!

    Bookmark   June 6, 2009 at 8:41PM
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poisondartfrog

Thanks - I guess I will avoid the Soil, Hot Topics and Recycling Forums too.
Maybe I am overly sensitive. For years I worked where the bureaucracy frustrated staff and clients and led to plenty of anxiety fueled vituperation. Now I cringe in the face of contention.
I'll go adventuring again someday when I have plenty of time, but for now I will stick to my favorites and hope for continued civility.
Have a peaceful Sunday!
Alana

    Bookmark   June 7, 2009 at 7:09AM
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jim_6b(TN)

When I first registered I lived on the SCM forum. There were nice people then and still are. Annpat has been around for a while and is nice, she just doesn't like soggy bread in her compost. The SCM forum has many people who are very willing to help answer questions but as with any forum here on GW there are a few bad apples. They don't last long. I remember when I began hanging out here, there was always someone to help me and other newbies. I do recall one lady that posted a lot but contributed nothing. She appeared to me to be a very bitter person who made herself fell better by belittling everyone else. I don't know where she is now but I hope she found what she was looking for. The Seed Exchange is my home now.
jim_6b

    Bookmark   June 7, 2009 at 1:30PM
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poisondartfrog

I could not help myself. This morning I looked at that horrid post on the Farm Forum to see if anyone followed up after the ripping a new poster suffered had killed that thread. I had decided that I would send the wounded party an encouraging email. I found that the attack post had been removed and a couple of new follow-ups were even toned if not downright apologetic.
Someone else must have complained where it counts. Hm. Sue????

    Bookmark   June 8, 2009 at 9:40AM
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana(zone 5/6)

Someone else must have complained where it counts.
I would say so...and thankfully someone did or else GW just happened across it themselves. Never hesitate to use the Contact Us link at the bottom of any page (and choose abuse of forums) whenever you see awful rudeness....I never got to see the post, but am glad it got gone...I hate to see strife and rudeness on 'our' boards here.

I had decided that I would send the wounded party an encouraging email.
I've done that myself a few times...and have found it was well received and the new member was appreciative to get an encouraging email telling them that such rudeness was not the norm or tolerated here at GW.

She appeared to me to be a very bitter person who made herself fell better by belittling everyone else. I don't know where she is now but I hope she found what she was looking for.
hmmm...now Kim, you have me curious...I am wondering who you might be referring to. Being rbb, I gotta ask that you email me privately, if you don't mind...with the name, as I am also quite nosy (oftentimes) and will be the first to admit it.

Sue...rbb

    Bookmark   June 8, 2009 at 10:24AM
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana(zone 5/6)

I meant...hmmm...now Jim, you have me curious.

    Bookmark   June 8, 2009 at 10:55AM
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medontdo(8)

sometimes sue, you make me grin, really big!! LOL
alana, somehow, i knew that you'd do something like are that!! :") you are a very kind hearted person.
jim, i don't remember that person, but she does sound familiar. LOL
i do like the square foot forum, they are nice. although there was this really mean person there who wanted to fight with me, usually i don't engage, but.... ((onery grin))
my thing is, i thought this was to teach about gardening, so you can tell your different ideas, but people get so touchy! i don't see where name calling and fighting has anything to do with gardening. gardening has to do with fun and relaxation! **grin** with the hard work the big smile comes afterwards, when ya look at your muscles Hee Hee ~Medo

    Bookmark   June 8, 2009 at 12:51PM
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remy_gw

Alana!
Someone with Poisondartfrog as a name you would think would be tougher, lol : )
Seriously though I don't like when someone is rude either. I do like Sue said and use the contact us link if it is really bad. If it is between people I know(like has happened on the RR forum in the past,) and it hasn't got too out of hand yet, I try to stop it in its tracks before someone write something they will regret.

Then there are the few people I find just plain annoying and you really can't do anything about it, lol. They really don't say bad in and of itself, but all the posts put together get on my nerves. Like there was a poster on the antique roses that would bring up the same subject oh every month or so for years!! I just wanted to write shut up already, you are beating a dead horse, lol.
Then again maybe someone out there thinks that way of me, lol.
Remy

    Bookmark   June 8, 2009 at 10:00PM
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poisondartfrog

Remy, that's protective coloration. I used to be a lot tougher-guess I have used up my supply.

Medo, with all of your garden projects I imagine your biceps are impressive.

It's just nice to know that it is safe to go into the water.

A bientot,
Alana

    Bookmark   June 10, 2009 at 9:25AM
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stage_rat(5--Indiana Riviera)

Ooh, I read that post on the perennials forum, and it bothered me a lot too. I've spent a bit of time contemplating how the forums each have their own personality. On the perennials forum, there was also a post where people were being attacked for buying plants from big-box stores. So, I don't think of the perennials forum as being particularly friendly.

There's a forum where one of the best experts likes to be the first to post, in order to chide people that they should have used the FAQs and Search before posting, or that they posted in the wrong forum. That got me to where I'd spend 2 hours researching a question (and not finding the answer) before I'd ever post. People shouldn't have to do that!

I once wanted to console a newbie after she was very rudely "corrected" on a normally friendly forum, but her email wasn't set up. Luckily she didn't quit GW like I would have after that remark (if I'd been new), so she saw the nicer postings that followed.

PS: Wintersowing has to be one of the friendliest forums on GW, although I haven't been to them all. A lot of discussion is gardening-related but not directly WS-related, so anyone should stop by and see if they like the group.

    Bookmark   June 27, 2009 at 4:15PM
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poisondartfrog

I know what you mean about all of the forums having a distinct personality. Some are very friendly (nice), some set a serious almost professional tone (also nice), and a few appear to want to exclude newcomers (not so nice).
You are right about the WS forum. I don't post there often, but everyone there is friendly and responsive.

    Bookmark   June 29, 2009 at 2:36PM
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bakemom_gw(z6 Central Ohio)

I don't mind a good fight b/c that's the environment I work in. However, on here, it's different. Go to WS. We'll take care of you.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2009 at 7:45PM
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jim_6b(TN)

I don't mind a good heated arguement or debate, but I like to do it face to face. It's real easy to hide behind a nasty email or talk down to someone over the phone or through voicemail. I install phone, voicemail and auto attendant systems and some of the customers do this. I had one customer call Wednesday and was dropping the F bomb like crazy and it turned out to be something that he screwed up. He was real brave on the phone but when I was standing in front of him the next day he was the happy, smileing person that I usually deal with.
jim_6b

    Bookmark   July 3, 2009 at 6:27AM
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medontdo(8)

another used to be real nice one is square foot gardening, i havent been there in a while,, there are a few really nice and sweet people there, and a few i'd like to just smack once in a while. **sigh** every once in a while if i visit a forum where people are rude to others, and i feel like being the one to stick up for others. ya know, i'm there!! LOL but then i forget where i went to it, **grin** LOL ~Medo

    Bookmark   July 6, 2009 at 12:52PM
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