birdsnbloomsApril 10, 2007

Hi..It's been months since I've been on GW and I miss everyone..

Hope everyone's plants fared well throughout the winter.

I lost sooo many, some because of neglect, and others because of cold and dry air..On top of everything that happened, our humidifer wasn't working properly, so the air was pretty dry..And because of my mood, I stopped misting on some of the driest days of the year..and believe me, there is a difference.

I don't see many names I'm familiar with, so am wondering if everyone has left.

It's been one awful winter, the worse in all my yrs. As you guys know, my son was using drugs, and because of this, I went into a deep depression. If anyone remembers, right before my son confessed, my doctor had taken me off not one but 3 medications. His timing was perfect.

Anyway, I hope all you regulars haven't gone..It'll be nice chatting with everyone..Toni

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Mentha(9 CA)

Hi Toni,
I pop in from time to time, I've been looking for your posts, wondering how you are doing. Let me know how your RF fern is doing. I have a spare if you've lost yours.
It's nice to see you posting,

    Bookmark   April 11, 2007 at 1:26AM
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pirate_girl(Zone7 NYC)

Hiya Toni,

Welcome back you! Hope the coming of Spring & lots of renewed plant growth will be happy things for ya. Hoping things on your end have settled down somewhat & you & your family have made some headway dealing w/ this difficult stuff. ((Warm hugs))

Pirate Karen

    Bookmark   April 12, 2007 at 5:49PM
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amany(MI / 6)

Hi Toni.

I'm glad you're back. I was out of the loop for a long time about what was going on with you. I hope things are better for your family now. I also hope that you can find joy in taking care of your plants again. I hope that your finding joy in life, period.

You were sorely missed. Not only for your great advice, but for your kindness as well.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2007 at 9:38PM
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Rhonda, Karen and Amanda..thanks..I missed everyone here on GW, but was under such deep depression I didn't care about anything..and I mean anything.
My sons addiction to heroin was an awful thing to deal with..Plus, to top things off, he met a girl on some such meeting site..she too was using heroin..Not only was she a liar but a thief..She stole from us before leaving the final time. (Including my dh's wedding band) And piddly things like one of my cookie recepie books. Everytime I think about it it pisses me off.
Heroin is a bad and very addicting drug.. he went cold turkey..It was a real ordeal for him..Then to top that off, 3 days after Christmas he drove a so-cold 'friend' to the mall..this character steals CD's and DVD's..I'm not talking 2 or 3..I'm talking hundreds of dollars worth..Then he took them to a pawn shop to make money for heroin. He'd been arrested a couple times for theft, and you'd think he'd learn..well, what he did was, on the 28th of Dec, rode w/my son to the mall..He then planted a syringe in the car..(this was his insurance in case he was caught) which happend..Next thing that happened is after getting caught stealing, he gave the police my son's name, told him where he was parked..they searched the car and found the needle. He was arrested and our car impounded..That little deed cost 300.00. BTW, this was a first offense. Because he had to use a public defender, he really got screwed..SWAP (community servie) which you have to pay up front before working, 1 yr probation, fines, and a mark on his record which like I said was clean.
If we had the money to hire an attorney, I'm sure the case would have been dropped..for one thing, I don't know the law but you'd think searhing the car would require a warrent. Apparently not.
He was going to school when this happened, (for a CDL) My son cannot say NO..when his 'friend' called, and kept calling, (I saw the phone records) my son ended up driving him to the mall after saying no a number of times..but this guy is persistent..what an ass!!! Of course this didn't help, set me back..I felt like I was really losing it. And as you know, I was on medications which just the mont before was told to stop taking. The timing was awful.
I hope none of you guys w/children never have to deal with it. It hurts a parent like you can't believe..especially, my son is thin to begin with..he'd lost so much wt he really looked the part of a junkie..His hair was long and scraggly, skinny, and his complexion was terrible. We went to my sister's for Christmas, and I was embarrassed..everyone kept looking at each other when he'd walk in a room where ppl congregated.
The good news is, he is now on a better diet, quit drugs, and is working out. (weight lifting)
He applied for a job which required a drug test, and thankfully passed..He starts Wed..
I really have a lot of work to do w/plants..An awful lot. Since my moods changed, I've been spending a lot more time w/them again, but it's ging to take a lot of work getting them to look like they once did. I feel devestated because of the number of plants I lost..But I'm happy to work with those I've left..I will NOT replace those that are gone.
It feels good working w/them again..Like I said I don't intend on buying more plants, but I really want to stop at this nursery called Jamacan Gardens and buy a 1-2' Crown of thorns w/large flowers..I really love those succulents.
Anyway, thanks again for writing..it's great being back..I really missed you guys..love, Toni

    Bookmark   April 15, 2007 at 5:15PM
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Mentha(9 CA)

Hi Toni,
I'm so glad you've got a determined son. My brother is on drugs again, he looks like a skinned over bag of bones. I only wish we kids had had a better life, without the abuse and beatings. I know my brother would be a different person otherwise. He tries to hide it, and my mom denies the signs, but my husband was on Meth also once so we know the signs. All I can do is pray for him and tell him I love and forgive him for being a rotten brother. I don't want my brother to die.
Stay strong for your son Toni,

    Bookmark   April 16, 2007 at 3:00PM
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Oh Rhonda, I'm so sorry..Yes, a sign they're on drugs is weight loss..My son also looked like a bag of bones..he's thin to begin with so he really looked terrible.
Are you close to your brother?
I'm also sorry you came from a bad home..tell me about it..my father really knew how to use his fists. And our mother was mentally abusive..
It'd be nice if we could pick our families.
I hope you can work with your brother..what's his age?
Talking to him will help..especailly if he respects you..It's going to be difficult in the beginning..I remember the pain Mike went through when he first got off heroin. It's not easy to watch..I swear, I felt my son's pain. Literally. I'll pray for you, too and your brother. Your brother's going to have to be strong and fight this battle..it's not easy..Does he act like he wants help? Toni

    Bookmark   April 16, 2007 at 3:26PM
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Mentha(9 CA)

I sent you an email :)

    Bookmark   April 16, 2007 at 5:55PM
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Hello, friends! It is so great to see familiar names!
It has been ages since I stopped by here. I popped in once in a while, but never posted.
It also was a very difficult winter for us. My son, college freshman, was diagnosed with clinical depressions and ADD after first semester. For the last 2-3 years he also was smoking pot... I knew about it, but couldn't do anything - so many kids in high school do it now... But his depression came as a shock for us. So we got him a physiatrist and therapist and they both put him on antydepressants and therapy sessions. He was doing very well and then.... during the party at college somebody slipped Xanax in his drink! He blacked out completely and a few hours later was beated up by kids (one of them is a drug dealer!), who said that he stole their credit cards and money! Police came, searched his room, found grain alcohol, pipes and empty pot baggies... He has no idea what happened that night. Mix of Prozak and Xanax coul dhave killed him....
As you can guess, we all were terrified... talked to lawyer...but so far it is not a criminal case, but only "educational", inside university. Now we are expecting decision about his panishment...
I am not saying that my son is an angel, but he realy is a very good kid, who could never harm anybody or steel or do anything criminal. Now he is back to square one with his depression...
On a difefrent note - I still have a few plants and enjoy them. They grow mostly by themselves, I only water them once a week.
I also have new hobby (some of you know about it already). I make fancy dolls clothes and recently started making dolls too (they look like a real babies - if you do search on ebay on "reborn baby doll" - you see what I am talking about.
Ok, I think now you know more than you would like to about my life, LOL.

    Bookmark   April 21, 2007 at 9:45PM
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Hello Vera,
I'm so sorry about your son.
It's difficult on us as parents to deal with our children, despite their ages.
How much Xanax did these creeps put in his drink? What was their point? Were they trying to harm him? What I mean is, were they trying to do more than knock him out?
If it was a low dose of Xanax, it wouldn't hurt him..the mixture isn't dangerous..in fact, I took Prozac and Xanax but Prozac didn't agree with me..it was the worse medication I'd ever taken.
But considering he'd been taking Prozac, then Xanax AND alcohol, could be dangerous.
If he's suffering from depression he shouldn't be drinking, since alcohol is a depressant. Didn't the docs mention this to him? I know he's in college, and drinking in college is something most kids do..
What do they mean, it's not a criminal case? What the hell is an 'educational inside university' mean? Is that what the lawyer told you? That's absurd.
Placing a substance in someone's drink is a crime..Did your son phone the police after it happened? Can he prove who did it? Why do they say he owes them money and stole their cc's?
If that were the case, what would be the point in adding Xanax in his drink?
I hope everything works out for you, Vera. And your son.
If he's suffering from depression and ADD, isn't there something other than Prozac or in addition to, the doctors can prescribe? How long has he been on Prozac? If it's not working, why do they not try something else? Especially for ADD. There are so many different drugs to try these days..You take care of yourself..hugs, Toni

    Bookmark   April 22, 2007 at 7:59PM
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Mentha(9 CA)

Hi Toni,
I missed you're calling, I'm still praying for you and yours.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2007 at 1:09PM
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Hi, Toni,
Well, it was too complicated. Kids didn't know that he is on medications, and who knows why, what, how much , etc... it is college after all. Anyway, we kinda sorted it all out at the moment and life returned back to normal. He is on probabtion for a year for all that sh...t, but at least it will discipline him now.
Medications and therapy sessions are working good for him right now and we all can't wait till he comes home for the summer in 3 weeks. He doesn't drink anymore (and yes, both doctors told it to him ,but you know kids!).
If you want, you can email me directly for more details.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2007 at 10:29PM
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Hi Tony and everyone else. It is good to see some familiar faces. Kids kids kids! I am trying to use Oprah's secret telling myself that my kids are happy and healthy. Some days they are and some days they aren't. They are 27,24,and 21 and don't live I home although we still are sending all three of them help with their rent!

I have not been around GW much but I checked today because I have my first hoya flower (ever) and last week I noticed a cactus flower and I just had to share!

Diane, who is visualizing happiness and and good health for all of her GW friends and their families!

    Bookmark   May 6, 2007 at 1:31PM
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Mentha(9 CA)

Hi Toots,
I just read about your surgery, how are you feeling 6 months into it? My friend had back surgery and got a bad staph infection, four years later she's still on pain meds and was on antibiotics for 6 months. They were surprised she survived. I'm looking at having to have surgery for an endometriosis that I've had since befoer my youngest was born (9 years next month) I'm sooo afraid because I'd have to go to the same hospital she went to and they have a lot of staph infections each year, way more than the national average. Congrats on your hoya flower, I'm still waiting for my first, I've had one plant for two years and no flowers, so I cheated and bought one in bud hehe.

How are you doing? I'm still rooting for ya :)

    Bookmark   May 12, 2007 at 12:41AM
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Hi Toni, I haven't been on the site lately due to work stress, but its great to see you back. So sorry for what you went through..great to hear that your son is back on his feet, and that you are doing well, too. Look forward to more posts from you!

Best wishes


    Bookmark   May 19, 2007 at 2:26PM
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canttype(0b (Cold North))

WOW Toni! No wonder you haven't been around! I am so sorry to hear about all your troubles. Up here, Crack is the drug of choice and a lot of teens and adults here use. Coccaine products are out of your system with in 24 hours, so they do not have to worry about failing the Pee test should there be a need for one.

I thank my lucky stars (daily and touch wood!) that my kids only addictions are to music:-) Any kind of music, jazz, Rock, Dixieland, Big Band, Blues, even show tunes(?)...... and they play, sing, and listen to it all! (btw, they are 15 and 17 year old boys)

But I am very glad to hear that you are coming out of your slump and I hope things stay on the up side of life! You have been sorely missed around here.

Chin up:-)

I haven't actually been around here much my self..... Knitting has taken over my plant addiction!! But I do check in here regularly still.

    Bookmark   May 19, 2007 at 2:28PM
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