Double Talk

lunamoon(5 MA)July 22, 2006


  1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

  2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

  3. Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.

  4. A backward poet writes inverse.

  5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

  6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

  7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

  8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress!

  9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

  10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

  12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it .

  14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

  15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

  16. Every calendar's days are numbered.

  17. A lot of money is tain ted. 'Ta int yours and 'taint mine.

  18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

  19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

  20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

  21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

  23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

  24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

  25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

  26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

  27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

  28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

  29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

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fishies(Ottawa z4a or 5)

LOL! Hilarious puns, luna!

One of my favourite quips is credited to Dorothy Parker (Queen of Quips): "You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Another: "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."

Here's one I made up all by myself: "Mental illness is all in your head."
Hey, I'm no Dorothy Parker, but I make myself laugh.

    Bookmark   July 23, 2006 at 11:58AM
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lunamoon(5 MA)


I like your quips, Shelly! I'm especially partial to the horticulture one..... :o)

    Bookmark   July 30, 2006 at 10:47PM
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