I've searched and searched but cannot find an image of a tradescantia matching my plant. Help me name that plant!
No I don't think that's what it is. I think it's likelier a Goldfish plant or some other Gesneriad, try an image search for Nematanthus or Columnea.
Your plant is a Gesneriad, but it's Aeschyanthus.
It might be A. marmoratus/Basket Vine. Synonym..A. zebrinus.
I have one, but its lost variegation.