I need help now! Seriously!

a.girl.named.max(4a)August 2, 2013

Hi, I'm a girl named Max and I'm a garden junkie.

I have an urge to buy an old 10 speed bike for $10, spray paint it, and attached a basket of flowers to it. It's not even a vintage bike!

Someone please help me! Tell me not to do it! I don't think I can drive by the thrift shop without stopping to see if the bike is still there.

I need someone to talk me out of these things. I already have a zillion uncompleted projects. Is there such a thing as a 12 step program for garden junkies?

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Hi Max!!

Oh I wish there was a 12 step program for crazy obsessed crafty people.
My mother had a similar problem with ceramics. Every time she left the property she returned with boxes of shredded paper and greenware. My youngest brotherâÂÂs first uttered words were âÂÂBE CAREFULL!! THATâÂÂS GREENWARE!!!âÂÂ
It started out innocently, IâÂÂm sure she just wanted to get out of a house full of barely housebroken boys one night a week. Being around her peers with normal lives and daughters probably led her to believe she could have some quiet time and live a normal life.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Reality is⦠a cat and a box are a happy thing, add shredded paper you have paradise. Escaped hamsters donâÂÂt know the difference between shredded paper in their cage and shredded paper in a box full of greenware. Boys in rural areas tend to start sentences with âÂÂHey mom look what I found!â and end them with âÂÂcan I keep it? Hawks, owls, crows, raccoons, kittens, toads, snakes, lizards, pack rats, and boxes full of shredded paper and greenware. WHAT SHE THINKING!
It was a glorious war full of epic battles but in the end we lost. We had the numbers but mom had that big straw broom. We retreated to various sheds, coops, and forts and mom took over the enclosed porch. It slowly filled with tables of women wearing gaudy large smocks talking loud and laughing constantly.
More of these obsessed people kept coming and my mother moved into part of the equipment shop. This was an attack on the temple of manly manhood and the war was rekindled.
We didnâÂÂt know what a 12 step program was but when the 70âÂÂs came along we saw the movie, The Exorcist. Our attempt to exorcise the demons out of the shop with loud horns, engines, and lights was scorned and mocked with more loud laughter.
The 80âÂÂs rolled around and I sent in a male stripper dressed like a cop. This attempt to drive them off was met with more laughter and one old gal laughed so hard that she drained her oxygen tank. The following week my mom had even more students at her Thursday night class.
IâÂÂm sorry Max I donâÂÂt know how to rid you of your demons I just know what didnâÂÂt work for my brothers and me with those crazy hobby people. Beware of them in semi-organized groups, the force is strong in them.

This post was edited by tinfoilhat on Fri, Aug 2, 13 at 20:18

    Bookmark   August 2, 2013 at 5:57PM
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The good news is that the thrift shop sold the bike. The bad news is that I stopped at a garage sale and spent a dollar on two pieces of glassware that I really don't need.

Thanks for your advice.

    Bookmark   August 2, 2013 at 6:57PM
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I can't help you! I need help myself!
I have 4 or 5 bikes, only one of which is painted, and
in the garden. Sitting next to it a very small bike that is
in pastel colors already. The painted one was just spray
painted randomly with lavendar, pink and yellow. Since
our weather is so hot and lots of wind lately, I can't seem
to keep live flowers growing in the basket. Sigh- so it has
silk flowers in it.

    Bookmark   August 2, 2013 at 11:09PM
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cnm1(6 Oh)

You forgot to mention that this madness is contagious!! A coworker has gotten hooked on garden crafts after watching me. I went to a thrift store the other day - and there she was looking for glass!!!
I think that I enjoy the finding of "stuff" and planning projects more than actually making them!!!

    Bookmark   August 3, 2013 at 7:14AM
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Sorry Max, but you will find no help on this forum. Lots of empathy though! We are all infected with the same sickness and the best we can do is compare stories. Beware though... by reading here you are exposing yourself to more and more ideas, which will just make matters worse! You are better off just relaxing and enjoying your madness, 'cuz I don't believe there is a cure...

    Bookmark   August 3, 2013 at 3:49PM
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I was thinking that if I found a like-minded garden junkie we might work together to get some projects done. If I understand all of you correctly, you are telling me that my problem wil be compounded. Dang!

PS: Since the bike at the thrift shop is gone I decided I will hold myself back until I come across an affordable vintage bike. LOL

    Bookmark   August 4, 2013 at 5:49PM
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concretenprimroses(4B NH)

My dh says we need to make room in the cellar for the new heating system (pellet boiler). So I guess he will find my spare boxes of glass. Sigh. I havent' gone to a single yard sale this summer and I've been avoiding thrift stores. That's all I can do. But I know I'll go back.
I also sew and remake clothing into other things, so that is another whole storage nightmare!
I'm thinking of having ayard sale over labor day weekend, but I'm afraid I wont be able to force myself to put the stuff out in the sale!
It would be nice to have money to buy more that suits my current plans tho!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2013 at 7:17PM
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Let's have a convention! I know a spot on a lake in Minnesota that rents to scrapbookers. Well what da think?

    Bookmark   August 4, 2013 at 8:15PM
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I am less then helpful. I live across the alley from a thrift store!!!! To make it worse they know me and put junk by the gate for me. I do sentinel beachcombing and drag home everything I pick up on the beach. I have a "wall of lost soles", I nail up all the shoes I find on the beach. Well, not all, I found 162 one day. Would need a much bigger fence lol!

Someone stole an old bike that was in our garden, it had a black eyed Susan vine almost covering the entire thing. They had to jump a fence to steal it. Found it a couple of days later abandoned at the curb a block away, guess they thought they could ride it.

A lake in Minnesota, just think of the junk I could bring home!!
Tally HO!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2013 at 9:38PM
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I'm having a garage sale in September. (West Michigan if you want to come)- I "HAVE" to cut down on my stuff.

Problem is, I"ll probably start again- Goodwill warehouse has glass for .20 cents a lb...

    Bookmark   August 5, 2013 at 6:22PM
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concretenprimroses(4B NH)

Oh my gosh - 20 cents/lb seriously? What town in Michigan?
No wait. Ok lets all go to Minnesota. The trouble is junk is a lot harder to carry than scrap booking supplies.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2013 at 8:12PM
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LOL-Grandville,MI- just west of Grand Rapids, MI.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2013 at 9:41PM
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I have waaaay too much "future" projects...it's gotten so bad that I can't even get into my craft room...and the outdoor garden junk projects are stashed all around the yard!!! DH might come across them..but seriously...they are getting weeds and grass growing over them...time to stop buying and start making!!! May have to do the dreaded PURGE! ...again....there is stuff that I have been storing for years!!!
But that being said...to make a amazing totem...you really do have to stash a lot of glass items...just saying....;-)

    Bookmark   August 6, 2013 at 9:50PM
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Max--Yes! A junk convention...I'm there! The place you're talking about - is it on Bay Lake?

    Bookmark   August 6, 2013 at 10:28PM
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I love it! My entire house, and I have a BIG house, is full of my art stuff. There's stuff stuffed in every corner, trunks, closets etc.... I can't seem to stop and worse yet, my dh keeps bringing me home stuff too! We love auctions, flea markets and whatever. I am not a hoarder, but my kids think I might not be too far off! LOL We do sell things on craigs list, ebay etc, which is how I make my share of house expenses, but for everything we buy to sell we seem to buy two to keep! Yikes!

My dream is to have ONE HUGE area to house all my stuff, can you imagine, all sorts of stations of art supplies in one place?!

Hey, nonacook.... if real flowers dont grow in your basket why don't you think about putting some soda can flowers in there. I'm going to do that on the front of my house, in window boxes, since it's such a pain to water them.

So many projects, so little time.....

I also go by junkjunque in some of my emails... Doesn't that sum it up? LOL

    Bookmark   August 8, 2013 at 8:45AM
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jim_1 Zone 5B Illinois(5b)

Two things -

Why paint the bike? It's better in the natural state; and less likely that someone will misappropriate it.

Admitting that you have a problem is a big step! Congratulations!

    Bookmark   August 9, 2013 at 11:57AM
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So I hit my bottom! lol! I finally got out to the shed and hauled a whole load to the recycle depot! I figure I have a couple more loads for there, then a load or two to the dump! I recently got a welder down the road to repair my utility trailer and I also got him to weld 4 metal panels together for me!! So I have an oblisk in the making! I also got my son to angle grind a hand railing for me for another garden junk feature...so am on a roll!!!

    Bookmark   August 11, 2013 at 3:19PM
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