My Heart is Breaking

Janis_G(z7GA)March 7, 2013

The finest man I've ever known died today.
My precious Neil is gone.
He was my heart.
I got to keep my promise to him that he would not
see the inside of nursing home.
My last gift of love to him.
He died peacefully at home this morning.
while I held his hand and told him I loved him.

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oscarthecat(z7MD)

I'm sorry I never know what say at a time like this. My heart goes out to you.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 4:56PM
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lilosophie

(((((Janis)))))
I wish I didn't have to sent you these hugs, but it's all I can do. There really are no other words - I am sending you all the love I can. I am so sorry, my friend.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 5:25PM
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anneliese_32(6)

(((((Janis)))))

I am so sorry, wish I could help you, but all I can do is keep you in my thoughts, light my candle for you and Neil and send you my love,

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 5:57PM
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mawheel

Janis, I am so sorry for your loss. You and Neil are in my thoughts and prayers.

((((((Janis))))))

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 6:39PM
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west_gardener

My deepest condolences for your loss. I give you hugs and best thoughts.
The years you spent together, to the very end, are very special,

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 6:45PM
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gmatx_gw zone 6

I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. You will be in my prayers.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 6:53PM
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gabriell_gw

I'm so sorry to learn of your sad loss. I send my love, you are in my thoughts.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 9:37PM
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gandle(4 NE)

Janis, I'm so sorry. Over the years your love for him showed in your postings.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 10:35PM
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don_socal

Jan, I send my thoughts to you and yours for your loss. The love has come through over the years in your posts. We have only the written word here but hugs and consolation are between the lines.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 10:35PM
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jazmynsmom(Z5 Madison-ish)

Jan, I haven't been on gardenweb in a long while, but a facebook post brought me here immediately. Your words brought me to immediate tears. When I read them to Steve, they brought him to immediate tears. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. I'm picturing the quiet emptiness in your (beautiful) home and the quietness in your (rich) life.

I know that Neil was suffering towards the end. I know that you made it your life to buffer and care for him, and I respect you so much for that. (In addition to all the other reasons I've always respected you.) I hope you know how much I look up to you. That I look at you as kind of a "future me." If I continue to grow along the way.

My family is going through its own awful crisis right now, and I can't tell you how often your words ("Honey, don't borrow trouble") have allowed me to comfort them. I'm grateful to you for that.

I sincerely hope that my words can somehow reach through your unimaginable pain, and give you some modicum of comfort. Mission accomplished, honey: Not every wife can deliver on a well-intentioned promise the way that you did; Not every person can weather the storms you did with the grace you maintained. Only the exceptional ones. And not without cost.

I am sending you virtual (extra cheesy) hugs from Wisconsin. I look forward to a day when I can give you the real ones again. I am so sorry, Jan. But I'm also a little happy for you... that in spite of it all, you were able to keep your promise to him. Once he came to his senses, he was right about you after all. I have no doubt that of all the things that ever "happened" to him, you were, by far and away, the very best.

(((((((Jan))))))))

    Bookmark   March 7, 2013 at 11:30PM
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sweet_betsy No AL Z7(7)

Janis, our hearts are touched by the love and care that you gave to your husband. May God bless you as you grieve.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 7:04AM
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rob333

Oh Jan, I'm crying so much. I was looking at pictures last night and there he was. I haven't seen it in years. He just makes me smile and his kind ways are so wonderful. Honey, I just wish I could do something for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

so much love,
Robin

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 7:53AM
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Pidge

Jan, I just heard this news from Wanda Redhead and want to extend my condolences to you and your family. You have been a good friend to many people here at the party and we have watched you care with love and concern for your dear Neil. I am so sorry.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 8:56AM
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pkramer60

Jan, please know that if I could take the hurt away from you I would do so. May you find peace and comfort in your love and memories of Neil.

Peppi

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 10:30AM
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norar_il

Oh Jan, I'm so sorry. The time I met him, his good qualities were very obvious. You are blessed to have found the finest man you've ever known and to have had years with him. I wish you peace and a life full of happy memories and future joy. Neil was also blessed to have found you.

I'm thankful to Wanda for letting me know, since I don't read here much any more.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 1:16PM
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meldy_nva(z6b VA)

My deepest sympathy to your and your family, and all the people you and he have influenced throughout the years. Together and separately, you and he were a shining example of living to the full potential of a shared life; a comfort and an inspiration to us all.

I know there are no words capable of consolation at this time, but I hope that soon you will be able to remember all the good things that happened in your life with Neil, with a smile, because there was so very much to bring happiness.

Love and hugs,
Melody

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 1:59PM
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mjmercer

Jan, I echo everything that everyone else has already said. It is so obvious that you adored each other. How wonderful that you were able to keep that last promise to him. Hugs and wishes for peace coming to you from Coastal California.

Karen

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 3:22PM
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sara_the_brit_z6_ct

Dear, dear Jan - you painted Neil for us, in wonderful, brilliant pictures, over the years, for those of us who never got a chance to meet him. I'm so glad you were able to be together so long, and that you were able to be there to hold him.
Please know we're holding you in our hearts right now, thankful for Neil's life, and for the love you shared together.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 3:33PM
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mawheel

Jan, there is so much caring, sympathy, love, and compassion coming from these messages. Each of us, whatever our beliefs, would share your burden, if it were possible. I truly hope you will find some measure of comfort in knowing that so many people are thinking of you and Neil.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 5:53PM
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gloriam(z5PA)

Oh Jan I am sorry for your loss of a great man that I know you loved with all your heart and more. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Sending you sunflowers and hugs.
Remember all the good memories, I know there are alote.

Gloria

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 8:56PM
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kris_zone6

I am so sorry for your loss of Neil. You have many, many wonderful memories that will comfort you in the days to come.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2013 at 10:20PM
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agnespuffin

There will never be words enough to tell you how we feel. If we could help you at this time, I am sure that we would.

Take time to rejoice for him. He has freedom from his suffering body at last. It was time.

Aggie

    Bookmark   March 9, 2013 at 9:00PM
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shilty(6)

Jan, within a single year, I lost my husband and my only child.

I am here to tell you that you will never, ever get over the grief.

But you will learn to get along with it...

Bless you for keeping your promise to him, for being strong
and someone for him to lean on.

You are one strong, wonderful, lovely woman, and you still have gifts to give.

I am holding you close.

sharon

    Bookmark   March 11, 2013 at 11:58AM
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coconut_nj

Oh Janis, this sure breaks my heart for you. What a wonderful man Neil was. I'm so proud that you got to keep your promise to him, no matter what it took. I know also that it's what you wanted. I'm glad that it was peaceful in the end. I can't imagine your pain. Take care of yourself. You shared Neil with all of us for so very long. I'm glad he's free, but I'll miss him. A very special man.

    Bookmark   March 11, 2013 at 10:36PM
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Janis_G(z7GA)

The memorial Service was Sunday.
Two of the kids are still here but tomorrow Mike has to get back
to Tacoma and Nancy back to Lebanon TN.
The house has a different rhythm now.

Thank you all for the loving words and support. You have touched my heart as only you could do.

I was greeting people at the funeral, when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I saw some sunflowers appear. I
took a closer look and a little pink flamingo appeared in the center of one of the flowers. I looked up and there was my sweet friend from the GP Wanda (redhead). I can't begin to tell you the absolute joy I felt to have her there by my side. To have that love and support. When she came back to the house
we were able to catch up a little before she had to go. What a treasure these special friendships are here on the GP. I will love and hold you in my heart forever.
saw

    Bookmark   March 12, 2013 at 10:24PM
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don_socal

Missy and I send our love.

    Bookmark   March 13, 2013 at 2:15AM
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endorphinjunkie(z7bAlabama)

I am so sorry for your loss. But celebrate the man he was. Through your posts here we have come to know a remarkable man.

Michael

    Bookmark   March 13, 2013 at 10:56AM
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