Thoughts on Mother's Day

lilosophieMay 13, 2012

Thoughts on Mother's Day -

It was meant to just remember the part a mother plays in one's life, it originated at a time when mothers were the cooks, house-keepers, nurturers, taken for granted and there was set a special day aside to honor them.

Of course, the initial intent has been hijacked by the Rulers of Merchandising and they generously evoke enough guilt in their advertising to make sure consumers spent plenty on trinkets and flowers and taking Mom for dinner.

But there are many who feel left out because their circumstances do not fit the standard pattern.

I am sad for those who don't have a mother, she passed away or deserted them, this must be a difficult and unhappy day for them, and the ones who have a mother who is uncaring, abusive or otherwise not "natural" must hate that day.

It is not a day to celebrate for women who wanted to have children, but it never came to pass.

Personally, I can take it or leave it, my children know me well enough not to get carried away with sentimentality, I like my sentiments more edgy - it's a family trait.

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When I was in my first year of school, the (spinster) teacher took the whole class on a walk to pick violets from yards to bring back to school so we could fashion nosegays to give our mothers. I don't think one Mother's Day has gone by I have ever forgotten that. We ventured up into the yards of private residences to pick them. We were a large class, perhaps twenty five to thirty students and there were no aides or parent volunteers to go along and nobody wandered off. All of the teachers in our school were female and none were married but one, and she had to leave when she became pregnant before she was 'showing'. Thinking back on that now, surely she had gotten prior consent for our trespassing. I also am amazed that classes this size now require more than one adult to function and remain under control. Miss Daniels kept our class in line without ever raising her voice above a library level. However, I can't even fathom how archaic it was to think children should not be exposed to a pregnant woman. What were they thinking?

Yes, holidays and days with special recognitions do flip triggers in people and are their reason d'etre. My mother and her younger brother were given up by their mother, my maternal grandmother. When she remarried, they were evidently in the way and they were raised by her grandparents. In my mind and her's she got the better deal and led a better life. Motherhood is not created equal, obviously. However it is a special vocation and responsibility, as is fatherhood. Not to be glorified for the physical act of reproduction, but the willing acceptance of the responsibilities and nurturing involved so basic and univeral when done as it should be done.

On Mother' Day, I think of one of her friends Bette who was childess and my spinster teachers and all the other women who made my growing-up years happy and special, even though some wanted kids and couldn't have them, or chose not to have them. Mothering and nuturing is a state of the heart and procreation isn't a necessary part of it.

I agree about the commercial aspect of Mother's Day. It grates on me and is unneccesary. Ditto for weddings and any other holiday or celebration. My children are my reward, as our my step children, and the differences I may have made in my foster children's lives. They are my reward as they are also the rewards in people like Bette and those teachers.

    Bookmark   May 14, 2012 at 8:49AM
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I like the Mother's Day Celebrations.

    Bookmark   May 14, 2012 at 8:05PM
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I like it in a peaceful, low-keyed way as well. I find it a little embarrassing to be celebrated for something I enjoyed, however. I don't know how it works in the 'average' household, but in most families I know the women are still the cooks, house-keepers, and nuturers. In England, Mothering Sunday comes earlier........before Easter. It used to be a time when young girls, who often worked as domestics more for board than money were allowed to leave for a day to visit their mothers. I don't imagine most parents think their children owe them anything, but as a child I know I owe my parents a lot.

    Bookmark   May 15, 2012 at 1:39AM
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The main problem that I have with Mother's Day (Yeah, and Father's Day also) is all that blah about it as if being a mother somehow is the same as sainthood. Some Mothers are wonderful caring people. They would be the same even if they never had children. They Care!

And there are mothers that should never be allowed to raise children.

Just an opinion. Don't mean to rub anyone the wrong way, but I know too many people that would have done better in a orphans home than in the home with the woman that gave birth nine months after the Deed was done.

    Bookmark   May 15, 2012 at 5:47PM
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Not to start anything big here, but Mother and Father's day is not anything new. Remember, honor your mother and father?
I go with the modern day celebrations. You wanna give a card, give a card, or not.

    Bookmark   May 15, 2012 at 7:27PM
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I am suffering from the largesses of Mother's Day. Son arrived with lots of plants and all his garden implements to renew the raised beds as well as bags of potting soil and manure. Started out with the tiller and then the heavens opened up and it rained and rained, something we definitely needed, but son had to leave at end of day, it was still raining. He left Monday morning for work in Minneapolis and I shlepped, dug and planted for 2 days.

    Bookmark   May 16, 2012 at 6:53AM
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