Here's Your Sign!

semper_fi(Z7 GA)February 19, 2006

There's a comedian who does a routine about dense but unintentionally funny things people do or say which earns them the dubious "HERE's YOUR SIGN" award.

For example, I was looking through eBay and find this auction. Although I do know what the seller is TRYING to portray, looking at those auction photos, I think perhaps describing the item as "BRAND NEW NEVER OUT OF THE BOX. " may not be exactly accurate. LOL! Luv38DD, HERE'S YOUR SIGN.

So what peculiar stuff have you seen or heard (or even done) that should earn someone this epic award???

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Oh Boy!!!! I have been looking for one of these for years!! For those of you who don't know what this is: A miniature ELECTRONIC goal post for mice training. Little electronic shock collars go around their tiny necks and with a lot of patience and training you have competent little critters kicking field goals. I have high expectations that when I get my mice trained, we will be bigger than the Budwieser Clydesdales! Super Bowl commercials, here I come!! Thanks Semper, who would have thought it would be on Ebay?

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 9:21AM
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Hmmm....thinking of upgrading Semper? My mountain bike is a 1991 with Titanium tubes.....but it surely doesn't have the shocks and stuff they have now! Scarey....I've ridden long enough that I didn't get your post until I realized it was the "never out of the box" thing...I think I need some more coffee. I 'm usually quicker than that....Now I have to really sit and think of some other idiot signs I've seen....I know I've got some doozies back in the gray matter, but I'll be danged if I can think of any at present!

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 9:52AM
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LOL!! Now, that's thinking outside of the box....

While visiting my folks this weekend, I was reminded of what not to do while driving.

My mom is a vocal driver, and she likes to use "hand signals". Despite my warnings at the danger of such things (especially in this age of road rage), she continues to flip the bird at those who drive too close behind her, pull out in front of her, etc.

Sure enough, while returning from OSH with plants aplenty, some idiot in a Dodge pickup decided to get right up behind the crazy lady in the Monte Carlo. We finally got over to make our exit, and there goes Mom, flippin' and lippin', "Son of a...."

But the "idiot" tailgater was still behind us. She had just "signalled" to a Ford pickup with 3 clueless guys.

"Uhhh, Mom, that's...."

"I know. Wrong truck."

Here's your sign!


    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 10:10AM
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Hey Semp

If you have some time to kill you might want to peruse this
in the GW Terrarium forum. There are certainly some people in there
that deserve an idiocy award of excellence of some sort.Â

The main reason I bring it up is you are unwittingly involved in the thread in a
very humorous way, well I think its it's humorous anyway. LOL

You may have seen the "Micro Pond" thread I posted in this thread that
featured my chameleon. Well I decided to post a thread about it over in the
Terrarium forum. Anyway, that's how it starts and goes on for quite some time
until it becomes a circus, that's where you come in. LOL

I warn you the it's a very long thread and you are not involved until very
nearly the end of it, but if you have some time and a some beer to drink you may
get a kick out of it.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 6:20PM
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Oh by the way, anybody else who might care to look or comment in that thread is certainly welcome. The more the merrier they say. It has all the tension and emotion of a "frog ate my fish" thread from this forum and more,,, in fact it has a little bit of "frog ate my fish" too. LOL
See if you can find how Semper is involved.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 6:51PM
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I just read the whole thing. Geez is all I can say. I've never heard such things from women like that before. Amazing and seriously off topic. I would not even respond to either of them. I can hardly believe they are for real.

One thing - one person seemed to have clear directions on how to keep a chameleon so I would consider that one. Open mesh, tall cage, lots of plants, mist twice a day, heat lamp, feed insects, etc. She was polite and appeared knowledgeable on the subject without being insulting.

Out of all those threads, that is the one that stood out.

Best of luck.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 9:18PM
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jeffahayes(8a Upstate SC)

That thread in terrariums must have gotten a bit TOO carried away, Mr. Mucky, as it no longer exists.

Sorry I didn't see this and get around to clicking it sooner... sounds like it would have been a hoot to read... If you thought to self-archive it, feel free to email it to me.


    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 10:20PM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

LMAO! Bartender, I'll have what the babe from WI is drinkin'.... but PLEASE make mine a single!

Michigoose, a Ti tube back in '91??? That was undoubtedly a cutting edge bike in that genre. I'm guessing it still came with a rigid fork which really beats you to death? The new shock absorption that they have now (like the one in that auction) are REALLY amazing. I am indeed in the process of doing some XY level upgrades to my Stumpjumper... it's a guy thing, you wouldn't understand (nor probably want to!!!). Unfortunately, that particular fork is out of my price range and it's a little too flashy for my taste anyway.

Muckster, in the other thread before it was deleted you wrote: "I can't believe I fell for this crap".... or something like that.... well, ole' friend: HERE'S YOUR SIGN! LOL! :-)

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 10:35PM
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No Jeff I didn't archive it, and your right it got very carried away by someone who had multiple forum personalitys.

Thanks again for stepping in there Semp, Somehow I knew you'd put an end to it, Your my HERO :) LOL
And as far as the SIGN, it's not that I didn't believed you, it's just,,,,,, well, it's just that I'm a very forgiving kind of guy myself, and I've made some pretty stupid mistakes before in my life, so I know what it's like when people want to hold something against you forever.

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 1:28AM
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Yep, it was cutting edge, and pleased my socks off to make it so I could race my dh up over logs and really steep inclines....However, I haven't kept up with the new technology, and since I now have a dd who thinks mountain bikes are only to be ridden on the road and refuses to try a road bike....and I have gotten a little hesitant to injure my hip (which had bone metatastises) I doubt I'll get much in the way of trail hours in anytime, here in south western OH I'd be hard pressed to find the hills that I loved to ride...technical biking was so great in the hills of CT!

However, I bought dh a Kurt Kinetic trainer for Valentine's day and I'll be trying that out as soon as my road bike gets overhauled...

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 9:06AM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

Muckster, to put one's trust in others is indeed a GREAT trait. Unfortunately though, there are scammers out there who will break this trust for their own personal gain. Most do it for financial gain, while others (like the weasel in that particular thread) do it for some sorta strange self-gratification by playing with others' emotions. It's hard to fathom how empty and shallow one's life has to be to stoop to THAT level. And this is not the first time nor will it be the last time something like this has happened in these forums. At least that idiot had the presence of "mind" to get his characters straight. I've seen people here having idle chats with their phantom illiterate neigbor and then forgetting to sign on as the "other" character. We've also seen disingenuous tales of saving great blue herons, etc...

That thread yesterday though was by far the most twisted one I have ever seen. It does make me wonder about the Village People's timing in deleting that thread. They first allow this troll to register at least 3 different usernames from the same IP address and then they allow the thread to completely spiral out of control for several days (I was in a hurry and didn't look too closely at the time stamps).... but as soon as the forum has the troll cornered and your thread could have easily returned back on-topic, the whole thing gets zapped. Who knows, but by not deleting the thread, they could have inadvertently allowed this guy to realize that he obviously needs to seek some professional help.


From the "Here's your sign" comedy routine:

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."

"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 9:27PM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

Just a quick note to George (Spring217), Horton, and George Washington... Here's .

Happy birthday men.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 8:01AM
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semper_fi-how can you tell they were sock puppets?? Where does the IP addy show? Just looking to learn alittle sumptin..-Heather

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 9:51AM
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pondmaninfl(z9 FL)

Semper, I just happen to have that cassette tape for that comedian and I don't think your quote was completely right but I don't want to dig it out to find out for sure.


    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 8:16PM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

Heather, from most browsers you can right click on the body of this or any other thread and choose "VIEW SOURCE". Within all that 'puter mumbo jumbo one can find each and every poster's IP address. In that particular instance, there was some luck involved since this troll was using a cable connection which has a permanent IP address. If he was on a dialup or DSL connection, the IP addy would be (somewhat) different every time a new connection was established.

As a side note, someone in the other thread claimed that logging poster's IP addresses here is a security concern. I have to disagree with that because anytime one visits any website (such as Mucky_H2O's website), their IP address can be logged. You can even go to many websites such as this one to view the information about your own IP addy. I guess that statement COULD be true in some extreme cases IF one's 'puter was wayyy to vulnerable to begin with.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 8:48PM
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horton(6 b Ontario.)

Thank you for fishing out the birthday wishes Semper, that just tickled me to Pisces.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 8:53PM
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LOL! So clever! Sorry for the belated b-day wishes, Horton, but I hope you had a great one! :)


    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 9:18AM
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zinniachick(southwest Ohio)

I thought I'd wait until Horton had sobered up from that quart of Glenlivet before I said

Happy Birthday Horton you old Hoot!

with fondest regards,

    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 11:27AM
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chickadeedeedee(z 6-7 ish Ohio)

Happy Birthday Horton !


    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 2:38PM
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horton(6 b Ontario.)

Brenda, Miss Zinnia and Agent'appy, Merci buckets for the birthday greetings.
Miss Zinnia, believe it or not, I did not have one alcholic drink on my birthday and I can't understand what went wrong, must be my age!
Felt strange waking up the day after my birthday and my head was clear. Well as clear as it gets these days.
Thank you all again,

    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 7:32PM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

To H&R Block, the largest tax preparer in United States, here's your sign!!!

    Bookmark   February 24, 2006 at 7:59PM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

Here's something fresh off the press.

And to think that this site went from a one man operation to being owned by a subsidiary of GE blows my mind. I can't help but wonder what the future of this site will be.

YEESH! $600 BIG ones! iVillage, here's .


    Bookmark   March 6, 2006 at 10:18PM
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zinniachick(southwest Ohio)

Whatchoo doin' on a women's web site company, Sweater Boy?

For that matter, what am I doing here?

    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 8:30AM
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LOL!! You're never going to live it down, Bullwinkle.

"...this site went from a one man operation to being owned by a subsidiary of GE..."

And the reason for that? The combined interest of gardening folks all over the world. No fancy ads brought them (us) here. Word of mouth, and in my case, a small mention in some long-forgotten magazine article. No matter the future owner(s) of this site, if they don't keep us happy, ain't NObody gonna be happy. :D

In my most humbled opinion, of course.

I just remembered GE's old catchline - We bring good things to life. Isn't that overkill? :D


    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 9:02AM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

"Whatchoo doin' on a women's web site company, Sweater Boy? "

Ummmm... I was only there for the articles???

    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 8:40PM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

A while back our neighbors who have some AWESOME aquariums had told us about this pet store in a ritzy area of town which also carries small koi. So last weekend we went there looking to add to our herd. Anyway, on our way back we were stuck at a VERY busy intersection. I happen to glance over at the traffic on the intersecting street and notice this individual in a mammoth SUV talking on a cell phone trying to make a left turn on the street that I was coming from. Well, apparently the light turns red and the driver was stuck in no-man's land in the middle of the intersection. So she puts it in reverse and backs up to the car behind her. Our traffic light changes yet again before I could make it through the intersection. A little time goes by and somebody catches my wandering attention with a quick burst of their horn. Apparently, the distracted SUV driver hadn't noticed the green arrow, so the person behind her was telling her to go. Having been perturbed by this queue, the "honkee" gives the "honker" directly behind her a one finger salute and punches it before the arrow turned red. One tiny, tiny problem though........ she had forgotten that the car was still in REVERSE!!! LOL! Fortunately, nobody got hurt and there wasn't any major damage to either vehicle mainly because there wasn't enough space between the two vehicles for the SUV to build up a lot of momentum. I believe her "sign" got totaled though!

Where's a camcorder when you need one?! It would have been a sure winner in America's Funniest Videos.

    Bookmark   March 13, 2006 at 8:55PM
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OMG, what an idiot! As my mom would say, "God got her." :D

I was driving into town the other day at my usual leisurely pace (the speed limit, 55 or so), when this car came flying up behind me in a no-pass zone. He was so close, I couldn't see the grill on his vehicle.

Normally, if someone does that to me, I give the person a minute or 2 to back off on their own (thinking maybe a rational thought might come into their head in that time frame). If they don't back off, I quickly slam on my brakes, then accelerate (so they don't run into me), just enough to scare them.

I didn't even have time to do all of that. As soon as we hit the passing area, he was booking it around me...and then he HONKED, really laid on that horn. Did he think he was an emergency vehicle or something?

Then, as he's speeding off and at least 100 yards ahead of me, it hits me. Instinct? Stupidity? I flipped him the bird, thinking, He won't see it, but it'll make me feel better. But I guess the sunlight fell just right over my "sign", because the next thing I saw was his brake lights! Oh, Shiite Muslim! I'm dead!

He was merely taking time to roll down his window to give me a nice hand flourish in return. Whew! I think I learned my lesson when it comes to signage.


    Bookmark   March 14, 2006 at 9:09AM
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semper_fi(Z7 GA)

LMAO Beav! After comparing your first and last posts in this thread, I have come to the conclusion that the nut doesn't fall far from the tree! :-)))

    Bookmark   March 14, 2006 at 9:45PM
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