I'm so proud of him!

agnespuffinJune 2, 2011

I just have to brag a little. It's about that old man, my husband.

As some of you know, I have a messed up spine, had surgery, but old age and nerve damage has raised it's ugly head and I do less and less.

He what's known as a Man's Man. Played all the sports. Boxing champ for his base during his enlistment. Professional base ball, weight lifting medals, good golf game....etc. etc.

But time has also caught up with him. He doesn't have anything to do to keep him busy. So he has started to do the cooking.

It turns out that he has a knack for it. He seasons by the old "by guess and by golly" method. He gets the just right amount of onions and garlic. He makes a dandy biscuit. He's GOOD!

I have taught him, not by telling him what to do, but rather asking him questions as much as possible. The question, then the thought process, the answer, and then I tell him whether or not it's OK or offer suggestions about more to think about.

It works! He's even taken over the grocery shopping.

I feel a little guilty (but not much) about not doing more of what should be my job, but I know that if he's not in the kitchen, he would be out in the heat wearing himself out in the yard, or sleeping in the recliner. So, I tell myself, what's a little guilt? It's better for him....Right??? RIGHT!!!!

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RIGHT! Cooking is not un-manly anyway, the best chefs are male, and it is a creative endeavor, keeping the mind engaged.
You are a good coach. I know it's hard not to be able to do what one used to.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 1:17PM
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gmatx zone 6

"It's better for him....Right??? RIGHT!!!!" Yep!


    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 1:17PM
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You said it: "Right is right"! Good for him--and you, too. You sound like a smart teacher, Agnes.

My DH feels very frustrated b/c he can't do what he used to do--crawl under the house, for example. Even being out in the yard walking on uneven ground is hard for him. He offers and does help with things in the house, "swiffering", dusting, setting/clearing the table, doing dishes, etc. Hm-m-m-m, think I'll try to interest him in cooking; it might work!

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 1:57PM
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Good idea! Start him off by chopping up the veggies, Slicing Tomatoes, and that kind of thing. Things that save you a little time. Then, on to the bigger stuff.

Making a simple meat loaf, frying hamburgers, baking chicken parts, spare ribs, etc. Opening cans of stuff and adding this and that to make the contents a little tastier. I found that it got easier and easier. Or maybe I'm just luckier!

Then, you may have to fudge a little and say things like, "how about putting the ______ in the oven?"

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 2:08PM
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He's doing great, be proud!!! It's what families do, they take care of each other, give and take. At least that's what happens in happy families. Enjoy your break from your "job". Send him my way to teach me how to make biscuits! I could use a lesson or two.


    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 2:10PM
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I have to tell you about one thing about his cooking..

His sister comes to have lunch with us once a year in December. We get along OK, She sits and runs her mouth on and on and on and I sit and listen.

Last year, she mentioned something about how good the cornbread was...I was delighted to tell her that HE had made it. It was Jiffy's Mix (just add a thing or two and it's ready for the oven)

You should have seen her face. Delicious!

Anyway, Things like the Jiffy mixes and Jello instant pudding mixes are a good thing to start with. I mentioned this post to him at lunch. He thought that more men, especially those that really like a good meal, would love to cook if they only knew how to start.

Think about it ladies. It might be well worth your while to encourage him to learn a little about cooking. Some of the mixes make a good place to start an interest. Let's them see how easy it can be.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 2:50PM
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jazmynsmom(Z5 Madison-ish)

If it's a pleasure for him, it would be selfish to deny it to him based on old-fashioned ideas about gender roles. Guilt is pointless. Celebrate his talents and his widening horizons. He sounds to be seizing an opportunity he never knew he'd enjoy so much.

My husband offered me a compliment a while ago that floored me. I know he's happy with my cooking, but it meant a lot when he told me that he'd become a better cook for my being in his life because he's learned things it never occurred him to ask about as a result of my enthusiasm.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 3:11PM
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Good for you, Agnes---you can use a break and it sounds like
you've struck a chord deep in his 'inner man'!
---works for both of you!

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 5:36PM
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Congratulations to both of you. To your hubby for stepping up to the plate when needed. (somewhat of a pun intended), and to you for encouraging and teaching him the ways of the kitchen and shopping.
You said he is a "Man's Man. Played all the sports." Now he is a chef.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 7:09PM
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You two are quite a couple and probably have been since day one. That was pretty obvious about 30 minutes after we met you both. Good for him and his never ending enthusiasm and you for your mind which never seems to stop working. Hope you are feeling well, you've been through a lot.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2011 at 7:57PM
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#2 son always comes for lunch on Fridays so we had planned a Shrimp Bisque with bisquits for him. But, as luck would have it, we both had a bad night. It was the pits getting up this morning. The last thing that either of us wanted to do was cook.

He was willing, but the mind was weak. He says he couldn't remember how things went. I wasn't much better, I didn't know if I wanted to bother......so I lay down for a nap. He made the bisquits while I slept.

And between the two of us, we got the shrimp cooked and peeled, the celery and other stuff chopped and cooked. I had to guess at the amount of flour for the roux. He manage to watch it. At last it was done. Good stuff, but I really would have just as soon taken another nap.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2011 at 4:56PM
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meldy_nva(z6b VA)

Good for both of you! A lot of women just can't give up their authority in the kitchen, just like a lot of men think of cooking as something they shouldn't be expected to do. imo, both groups are missing a lot of fun.

DH took over the grocery shopping shortly after he retired. The first few months were both exasperating and hilarious, but he's gotten to be very good at it. Of course an incentive is that if he wants 'junk food' like ice cream or potato chips, he has to buy it himself.

He doesn't do a lot of cooking but he did learn to read a recipe... as long as I annotate it as to pan size and list the exact order of steps.

Some time ago Suzi mentioned writing everything down that she wanted to remember. I'm trying to do that with all the kitchen details and recipes. A lot of my cooking is seasoned with a 'dash' of this or a 'glug' of that, so I'm having to measure and experiment before the recipe can be used by anyone else.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2011 at 5:33PM
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After 50 yo marriage, DH is finally doing some fixings for his own meals these days. Some hot dogs, breakfast,(if the ingredients are available). I've been doing the cooking all during our marriage, and I think DH is in shock that I've asked him to do some of his own meals.
I've included him in the shopping for groceries, told him about, and showed him how to cook simple recepies, like 5 ingredients. He managed to make that meal with minimal questions. And he sure enjoyed the meal.
DH has a masters in Educational Research, worked in the computer industry with some biggy companies.Done the sport thingies, champion swimmer, was a private pilot etc...
He's smart, but he can't put together a recipe?

So agnespuffin,

Me thinks that my guy just wants things the way they used to be. Thanks for the post.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2011 at 8:09PM
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Missy and I have always shred the cooking and shopping. Her first priority is the garden so I have done my share. She also does not like to shop while I like to go up and down all the aisles and usually get new things. I am easy to please and she is a bit picky so that is always a consideration. I used to get $300 worth in one basket a few times but learned to be more frugal.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2011 at 12:22PM
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Don, it seems that you and Missy worked it out early. Good for you both.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2011 at 6:56PM
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"#2 son always comes for lunch on Fridays so we had planned a Shrimp Bisque with bisquits for him. And between the two of us, we got the shrimp cooked and peeled, the celery and other stuff chopped and cooked. I had to guess at the amount of flour for the roux."

I've never had Shrimp Bisque with bisquits but it sounds delicious. Now I'll have to google a recipe to try!

My husband who doesn't mind cooking and is pretty good at it. Even does dishes more often than not.

Sounds like there are a few 'keeper's' out there!

    Bookmark   June 4, 2011 at 9:18PM
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