A Glimmer at the end of the Tunnel

tibs(5/6 OH)July 4, 2010

Slowly getting thru all of mom's stuff. We have fallen into a pattern. I ask her just often enough "Do you want to keep this?" that I can pitch (donate or trash) items without her thinking I am tossing whole hog. We are still taking way too much stuff. Everyone has been very friendly at the complex and tell me she will "love it here", and that they all made the mistake of bringing too many posessions. I don't take her with me on all the trips over, I would never get done!

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lilod(NoCal/8)

It is hard, no matter how you work it. I attempt to look at my "stuff" from some other person's point of view and take it from there. My treasures can be someone elses' stuff and some of my treasures may be just too personal to have meaning to anyone else.
One thing that keeps me focused is that my family and I personally had to abandon a lot of cherished possessions when we fled from the Russians in WW2 and how much so many things meant. Memories are in one's heart and if they are important, they are recalled without "tokens" - so I learned not to hang on to stuff, even if I like it, it is not the center of my life.
It is really a blessing - thank you, Russians

    Bookmark   July 4, 2010 at 11:55PM
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mawheel

Tibs, thanks for sharing how you and your Mom are doing at down-sizing her "stuff".

Your handling of the situation is helpful to me, b/c I KNOW that I need to begin to do this, too, NOW! I tell myself that if I do a little at a time, I may get it done before it's really necessary.

It sounds as if you're on the right track in helping her decide what and what not to keep and doing it in a manner that's not too upsetting to her. Good job!

    Bookmark   July 5, 2010 at 1:24PM
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sylviatexas1

You can take photos of beloved things that won't fit into her new space.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2010 at 12:33PM
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Janis_G(z7GA)

Glimmers are a good thing.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2010 at 7:44PM
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west_gardener

tibs, it sounds to me that you are doing a great job helping your mom to move to the next stage in her life and the next stage in your life.
DH and I are reaching the age where we have to think about down-sizing our home and our stuff. I know that it will be difficult to part with our life as we know it, but it has to be done at some point. I hope our children will be as sensitive to our wishes as you are to your mother's wishes.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2010 at 8:31PM
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tibs(5/6 OH)

Oh dear, I don't think my mother would recognize me in your postings! She said she will have to go to her favorite nonprofit secondhand store to replace all the useful things I have made her discard. We are talking little baskets (think those ones they put on tables in restaurants, not Longaberger collectables), empty margerine containers, miscelaneous glass jars, enough tea towels, hand towels to blanket the country. If I ever see a twisty tie again I will probably run away screaming. Last night I started emptying all the boxes. There is no way all her kitchen things will fit. She has kitchen hand tools that were her mothers and her mother in law's and her grandma's! There is no way she can use these. DH has told me no more stuff in our house, but I think I am going to go over this weekend with a big tote and fill it up with the kitchen items she cannot use anymore, (her hands are so tiny and can't grast like they use to) and tell her we will fill up the tote and I will take it home and if she needs anything I will bring it back. This is not stuff worth renting a storage unit for.

On the bright side, she has made friends and seems to like the place.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2010 at 7:28AM
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mawheel

Tibs, hang in there! Thanks for the update. BTW, I've got some twisty ties I can send you--if you really want them!! LOL

    Bookmark   July 9, 2010 at 1:36PM
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west_gardener

Who knows what's going on in the mind of people? DH's grand parents were well educated and traveled the world. There were valuables all over the house, but in one drawer we found a huge ball of string made up of tiny pieces of string.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2010 at 8:08PM
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