Seems undignified

gandle(4 NE)July 31, 2013

DIL's father died about 6 months ago. His wishes were to be cremated and put into an inexpensive urn. Private service at the church and burial in an almost abandoned Presbyterian cemetery north in the canyon country. Doubt that anyone has been buried there in years but it is a beautiful spot. Our church in town takes care of the mowing and what little maintenance there is. His request, that his kids 3 men and DIL all use a post hole digger and dig as far as they can go. Drop the urn in, fill it in . say the Lords prayer and go have a nice dinner on him. He left an envelope with several hundred dollars for that. He had a very wry sense of humor. RIP Bill.

This cemetery has no restrictions as you might guess.

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Sounds good to me, about the same as my wishes no strain on those left and a small celebration.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 12:47AM
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Nowadays, death/burial expenses, even for the simplest of arrangements, can be very expensive. I think your DIL's father not only had a wry sense of humor, but was very practical. His burial spot sounds lovely and peaceful. Good for your church for its maintenance of it.

A neighbor who passed away several years ago had Ice cream sundaes (sp.?) served after her memorial service. She loved ice cream and it was a good way for her to be remembered.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 7:11AM
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rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7

I think that it sounds like an eminently sensible and practical plan.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 11:54AM
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Good for him. A lot of times practicality flies out the window when the grieving relatives get to the funeral home.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 11:59AM
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sweet_betsy No AL Z7

I have always allowed dignity to reign supreme but I have begun to think of having my funeral guests enjoy the music of Jackson Browne as I shove off. Wouldn't
they be surprised! And a funeral they'd never forget!

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 12:25PM
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Sounds almost like my last wishes, except we don't have such a lovely cemetery, my ashes will be scattered at sea.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 1:05PM
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gmatx zone 6

It appears to me that Bill had a wonderful sense of humor. I would think his burial request would give them good memories of that.

DH and I both are planning to be cremated and when the last one dies, the boys are to mix our ashes and spread them over our pastures.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 2:43PM
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It sounds like a plan to me.
We have chosen to be buried in a cemetery here in silicon valley, There is heavy clay soil, so some heavy duty machine digs the hole, During the ceremony, the "machine" is covered by a tarp, but right after the ceremony, it comes out and fills in the hole.
Not very dignified, but it is our choice.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 8:50PM
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7 years ago my uncle made me aware for the first time that I had a great uncle born 1878 kicked and killed by a mule in 1909. DW and I packed a hoe,bow saw and shears to clear the expected overgrown site. We packed long sleeve shirts and pants along with insect repelent in hopes of warding off chiggers & ticks during our excursion in the long ago obandoned cemetery. Drove 3 hours to Caddo Gap AR and followed directions we had been given to locate the cemetery. 30 minutes on an unpaved road lead us to what was unquestionably the right place, except for the place being in very well kept condition. We found my great uncle's grave with it's headstone fashioned from a large flat riverstone with name,dob and dod scratched into it by his mother just as my uncle described. Looking around , there was one family's name on stones right up to recently. Figuring if we could find that family,we could find how to contact the association responsible for the upkeep so I might make a donation and express my thanks for the attention shown. Stopping at the post office in Caddo Gap,I could hardly believe it when the postmaster revealed that her sister is married to the gentlman who single handed at his expense maintains the cemetary in memory of his family. It gave me more pleasure writing that check than for any cause before or since.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2013 at 11:06PM
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Actually, I love it. Maybe we just take death too seriously. I think about funerals differently these days. I really adored that my (now-ex) FIL played the William Tell Overture as we exited. Could it be that funerals nowadays will have your personality in them? The more I think about it, the more I like it. And if someone wants the traditional version, I can respect that too. I'm a traditionalist, so I get it.

Rest in deep peace Bill!

    Bookmark   August 2, 2013 at 9:45AM
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This is a heartwarming story, Klem - there are amazing people all over this land, we never hear of them.

    Bookmark   August 2, 2013 at 9:49AM
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When we went to New Orlines (sp) we joined an old fashion, with a new twist , jazz funeral procession, Notice all the suv parked at the curb.

Here is a link that might be useful: Another take on a funeral,

    Bookmark   August 5, 2013 at 9:26PM
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When we had my mother's funeral, we played 3 old-time funeral songs, A Closer Walk with Thee, Amazing Grace and When the Saints Go Marching In. As you can imagine both my parents loved New Orleans jazz. My father as a young man lived in San Francisco and enjoyed Ted Lewis, Anson Weeks, Benny Goodman and others of that era. We played some of their songs plus When the Saints Go Marching In at his funeral. In our conservative town there were some surprises in the audience, but they all left the funerals with smiles on their faces. It was important to us to honor our parents with their kind of music, not the standard.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2013 at 12:32PM
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