i need words of encouragement

andrewlina(Z5)March 27, 2008

To make a long story short...my husband & I are foreclosing on our house,that we have lived in for about 10 years. I am a very emotional person. We had money problems and had to file bankruptcy awhile back and our mortgage payment is astronomical! We had to refinance several times to pay off debt. To make a long story short,we have a nice house (older and needs work and we have some land),but we pay around $2,200/month. How stupid! The mortgage company had us over a barrel and they knew what they were doing. We just cannot keep up with the monthly payments and manage other payments as well (electricity,cable,water). We rarely have enough groceries in the house for us and our kids (7 & 12). I am working double shifts to help pay the mortgage and I am sick of busting my butt for a house whose monthly mortgage should be about $600!!!!!!! To be honest our house is okay,we built on an addition a few years back,it needs work,the ceiling leaks,the main bathroom is small and to be honest,I am kinda embarrased to have my kids bring over their friends. I am trying to find some encouragement and stuff to get me through this emotional draining time. I try to be rational such as,1:we are healthy 2:DH & I both work 3:the kids are happy and doing good in school. 4:we have never had a fire 5:we still have our belongings. Please I need words or thoughts of encouragement and fast before I lose my mind. Thanks

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catkim(San Diego 10/24)

Your list 1 thru 5 is reason enough for happiness. Can you rent a house for $600 a month? If so, do it and move on, a fresh start could be a good thing. (Around here, rent is about what your mortgage is, or much higher, so maybe #6 on your list will be that you live someplace where rents are not exoribitant!)

Not that this will make you feel any better, but I just came back from a visit to a third world country, and even the poorest Americans are exceedingly wealthy by those standards. Just think, we have running water and can drink from the tap without getting ill. We also have electricity available 24 hours a day, and our children go to school instead of herding goats or cattle, and most of them live to be adults and have all their teeth long beyond age 12. We can buy fresh food and spend our time doing other things besides growing food or looking for food. Transportation other than walking is commonly available. Probably the majority of our clothing was bought new, not used, and everyone in the family probably has more than one pair of pants. And we even have shoes! We don't do our laundry in the river, and we don't bathe in drainage ditches. We have no concept of how lucky we are.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2008 at 1:08PM
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debnfla8b

I'm so sorry you are going through this. With prices being what they are right now, it is hard to make ends meet. What gets me is a house payment can be low...then insurance is added and taxes each month...WOW...that payment goes sky high! Things will work out okay. Thankfully you both do work and you all have your health...that is something to be proud of. Perhaps finding a house to rent would work better right now. I'm just so sorry for your misery and I will pray extra hard for you and your family.

Hugs....Deb

    Bookmark   March 27, 2008 at 3:00PM
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iowa_jade(C 5b H 6)

My son is having a hard go in this economy also. Sometimes it is hard to count your blessings.

From what you said you have many. It is lovely to have your family together.

As an old man I sold my back and worked two shifts for a while also, but my burden was eased after a few years. I was able to get a job with medical coverage. I am very thankful.

Hopefully things will ease up for you folks also. Climb back on the Gerbil Wheel, let your higher power do the worring and you will be fine.

Rest assured many prayers are headed out your way.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2008 at 4:00PM
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athenainwi

That sounds so hard. I almost ended up in the same spot you are in. The first banker we talked to would only talk about an adjustable rate mortgage. You're doing everything you can right now, and soon it will get sorted out and you'll be back on your feet.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2008 at 7:55PM
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Terry Crawford

I know it is so hard right now but be comforted by remembering that you have what is most important in this world that no one can take from you: a devoted and loving husband, and two wonderful sweet children. It might be a blessing to rent a home that doesn't need so much work and is much more affordable. Then you wouldn't have to work two shifts and could spend more time with your kids and not feel so stressed. It is always so dark right before dawn. Please keep in touch and I'll be praying for your family.
Hugs, Terry

    Bookmark   March 27, 2008 at 8:27PM
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hoovb zone 9 sunset 23

America is the land of the fresh start. A fresh start. A renewal. Another spring.

If you need something to take positive action on, (positive action really helps when you are feeling bad)...perhaps some money management training for a better, more secure future. Best wishes, hang in there.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2008 at 11:17PM
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carla17(Z7 NC)

Hoov, with all due respect "America is the land of the fresh start." That is not true for so many people. There were so many foreclosures in 2007, the banks can't handle it all.
I can't comment furthur because it goes into politics and this is not Hot Topics.
((Andrewlina))

Carla

    Bookmark   March 28, 2008 at 11:04AM
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cupshaped_roses(6)

Sorry to hear about your financial hardship Andrewlina. I have heard about the loan crisis and all the foreclosures and seen the poverty slum camps in California, like those in the great depression in the 30es. In CA alone there is 4000-5000 people who have to foreclosure and leave their homes EVERY WEEK because they can not afford their mortgage payments. This was documented on the news.

http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/134/subprime_meltdown

Wednesday nov. 14. I wrote All financial markers indicate that The American Economy is about to tip into a recession in response to MAT Thread about Inflation. It is now safe to say that the American Economy has tipped and is in full blown recession. The dollar has never been so little worth as it is right now. I have never seen anything like it!

These are not political statements ... just objective observations!

Perhaps Hoovb and others are right. A fresh start and rent a more affordable place could be the solution for you and your family.

Also I have gained a lot of wisdom about money management from David Ramsey and his sound way of getting out of debt and to do total money makeovers:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Ramsey

http://www.daveramsey.com/

It saddens me to see so many suffer the consequences of the bad financial situation in USA. I hope you will make it through it Andrewlina.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2008 at 11:57AM
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theroselvr

I'm sorry that you might lose your house. Have you been to the real estate forum? I've been going there a little over a year, you are not the 1st one this is happening to. If you do a search, you should see other posts. There are a few people that hang out there that may be able to offer you advice. There are also forums at citydata that might help you.

Right now though, the best thing I can say to you is to get the house listed for sale. This might buy you some time and will show that you are serious about working to pay off your debt.

Hanging at the real estate forum, as I said there have been other posts, from what I've read, and depending on how the house is taken, you might be responsible for part of the money owed if it ends up at sheriffs sale and does not sell for what is owed. I don't think that some people realize this. There is a house by me, it's been on the market since last May, the sheriffs sale was in October, and while they finally moved out in November, the house is now listed at the bottom price and still not selling. After a year on the market & almost 6 months where it was supposed to be sold at sheriffs sale, it's not looking good that these people will get the house sold, which is a shame as it's not a bad house, especially at that price.

There are other people by me that did manage to sell before going to sheriffs sale, maybe you will be lucky?

I am a very emotional person. We had money problems and had to file bankruptcy awhile back and our mortgage payment is astronomical! We had to refinance several times to pay off debt.

I am working double shifts to help pay the mortgage and I am sick of busting my butt for a house whose monthly mortgage should be about $600!!!!!!! To be honest our house is okay,we built on an addition a few years back,it needs work,the ceiling leaks,the main bathroom is small and to be honest,I am kinda embarrased to have my kids bring over their friends. I am trying to find some encouragement and stuff to get me through this emotional draining time. I try to be rational such as,1:we are healthy 2:DH & I both work 3:the kids are happy and doing good in school. 4:we have never had a fire 5:we still have our belongings. Please I need words or thoughts of encouragement and fast before I lose my mind. Thanks

You need to step back and breathe. Someone I care very much about is actually in your same shoes. They emailed me saying they wanted to refinance or something, where they would get money back. I told them what a bad idea it was. I told my friend to seek financial counseling, and will offer you the same advice. They have been struggling for years trying to keep the house, and like you both of the parents work more then one job but can't seem to get ahead. Do a google search for credit counseling in your area.

It's been very easy for people to dig themselves in a hole the last few years. It amazes me how people can keep getting more & more credit, digging themselves deeper. The banks & credit companies should be ashamed of themselves for qualifying people that should never have qualified. I know another person that just filed bankruptcy (no house) a year ago but continues to blow money like water & just bought an unneeded car that they can't afford. I don't know where this person thinks they will get bailed out again. They are not learning from what happened.

The thing that stinks the most, it is bringing all of us down. My hubby & I are actually not in your shoes but are having a hard time selling our house due to the amount of foreclosures, so it affects everyone.

You do heave your health, kids and jobs. Maybe with financial counseling you can get back on your feet again? Please look into that stuff now. The sooner you take action, the sooner it will be over and you can move on with your lives. The way you come out of this experience can make you a better person, learning from what happened and not doing it again.

Hang in there. I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching because I'm not. You are not the 1st and surely will not be the last. Hopefully someone at the real estate forum can offer advice, or you will find a post there similar to what you are going through that you can read to get ideas.

That particular house by me that won't sell, the mother died from breast cancer a year before my dad died. I imagine they got a home equity line to help pay medical / funeral. The person that did sell by me, they kept getting equity lines and spending foolishly. My dear friend, well she's had a very hard time health wise and almost died. While she does not want to sell her house because of her kids, I don't see any other way for her right now.

Perhaps Hoovb and others are right. A fresh start and rent a more affordable place could be the solution for you and your family.

As well as trying to not fall back into it. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Cut up the credit cards, get rid of the cable TV & cell phones & what ever else you can. If the kids have paid activities, stop those as well.

I know how hard it is to make ends meet. I buy in bulk as much as I can, we don't eat out and we try to use the grill even in bad weather as it's cheaper then getting the stove going. I've also changed the way I wash clothes, use a cycle with less washing time and, while I dry clothes, I take things like shirts out when they've been in 1/2 way to hang & dry the rest of the way. I also shop sales a lot and haven't had a day of shopping in a long time. I also don't make unnecessary trips with the car as gas is outrageous.

    Bookmark   March 31, 2008 at 7:46AM
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andrewlina(Z5)

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS AND PRAYERS! To update you all,we are on hold for now. My DH talked to his brother (which was very hard for him to do),his bro said DO NOT FORECLOSE. He said it ruins your credit forever! Now we are working on getting a forebearance,which is like a deferrment. I guess I will have to keep busting my butt and such. Good thing I love my job,seriously. I was going to get a second job,totally unrelated to my main job,which is healthcare. I am also looking into getting a hold of some of my 403B from work and get caught up,almost $6000. I do so love my back yard and my garden with all the lilacs,roses and peonies. That should be reason enough,huh? I am counting my blessings each day,and all your prayers and thoughts are helping. Thanks so much again everyone! Julie (aka Andrewlina)

    Bookmark   April 1, 2008 at 10:17AM
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moodyblue(8)

Julie, I am very sorry you are going through this and realize that lots of people are affected. In our town in the 80s the same thing was happening and people survived and were able to start over. It sounds like you have a good plan for now and I wish you all the very best. But take care of yourselves, #1. I think having a plan in place takes away some of the stress and is a good motivation. Good Luck!
Pauline Vancouver Island

    Bookmark   April 1, 2008 at 12:25PM
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kathwhit(z8, West OR)

Julie, I'll keep you in my thoughts. I'm sure you can work it out somehow.
Sincerely
Kathy

    Bookmark   April 2, 2008 at 5:45PM
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theroselvr

I do so love my back yard and my garden with all the lilacs,roses and peonies. That should be reason enough,huh? I am counting my blessings each day,and all your prayers and thoughts are helping. Thanks so much again everyone! Julie (aka Andrewlina)

Glad to hear it is looking better! Still look up the financial counseling, it can't hurt and may even help to get lower interest rates or something.

BTW, forgot to mention.. You might think to sell the plant divisions. One year I made a few hundred for a few weekends worth of time. Had I started earlier I could have made more. People still stop asking if I'm going to be selling plants

    Bookmark   April 3, 2008 at 9:59AM
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some_some_com

You have all the money you need right at this very moment. The universe is opening up to bless you with all the money that you need. The universe is filled with abundance and you will have more than enough to pay all your bills and have a lot left over. You will have more than enough to pay all your bills and have a lot left over. You will have more than enough to pay all your bills and have a lot left over. Blessings and prosperity to you and your family. You are loved.

    Bookmark   February 9, 2011 at 12:49AM
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leopoldee

Maybe you're wondering if anyone can offer you any words of encouragement because right now, maybe you could feel as though you will never be happy again.
http://www.neverjustexist.com/words-of-encouragement

Here is a link that might be useful: words of encouragement

This post was edited by leopoldee on Sat, Mar 2, 13 at 18:11

    Bookmark   March 2, 2013 at 6:09PM
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