giant spider attacks rose heyell!!!

pagan(8b)July 30, 2007

Yesterday a Giant Garden Spider was discovered and dealt with on the front porch of Rose Heyell, in the residential district of North Charleston. This Spider, an enormously outsized member of the Genus - Humongous; Species - Eeekius; has been living on the front porch for almost 2 weeks, leaving mayhem and a pile of tiny discarded and drained corpses beneath the web, the lifeless bodies victims of the Spiders' implacable thirst! The Spiders' web, a lair that stretched from one corner of the porch to the other, was so strong that several dangling chimes of a wind chime, (which were employed as support beams in the web), were rendered off kilter and hung at a right angle, instead of straight down as their wont. After twice removing the web with a standard-issue garden implement (a stick) and presenting the Spider with alternative accommodations in a nearby rose bush ("I didn't want to kill her!", stated Pagan, the chief gardener of Rose Heyell. "What if she had cousins who decided to avenge her spidery demise?? Not to mention the carnage of beetle husks under the web serves the little buggers right!") the Spider promptly returned to her preferred spot, high and dry and obstructing the main entrance to the house and garden. Yesterday, an Armored Weapon of Mass Spider-Web Destruction (a broom) was deployed in a last desperate attempt to convince the Giant Arachnid that this particular location was not favorable in terms of nearby schools, bus routes, and stores. The Spider was then carried across the street (on aforementioned Weapon of Mass Destruction, now an Arachnid All-Terrain Transport Vehicle) and persuaded to make a new start in a bed consisting of azaleas, crepe myrtles and a Bradford Pear tree. "This area has a better educational system altogether." Pagan explained; adding "I think the Spider will be happier in her new neighborhood."

At the time of this report, it is not known if the Spider has found her way back to the original homestead. If she decides that there is no place like home and squatting is the wave of her spidery future, Pagan has plans for dealing with this as well. "I have a shoe and I am not afraid to use it!" she declared.

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carla17(Z7 NC)

You are so amusing! What an inconvenient home indeed.
Why did you not present spider to flying babies?


    Bookmark   July 30, 2007 at 9:40AM
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cajunrosegal(10 south florida)


    Bookmark   July 30, 2007 at 9:41AM
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AnneCecilia z5 MI

What a picture you paint - thanks for the laughter!



    Bookmark   July 30, 2007 at 9:51PM
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dublinbay z6 (KS)

All spiders beware. Mighty Pagan is armed and dangerous!!!!!



    Bookmark   July 30, 2007 at 11:04PM
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LOL! Not only are you mighty with a broom, you tell a dang good tale!

    Bookmark   July 30, 2007 at 11:19PM
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Thanks all!

Carla - the spider was bigger then the flyers!! Did I mention that this sucker was HUGE!!!

I am going to amble over and see if I can spot a new web soon. If you don't hear from me in an hour, alert the authorities!

    Bookmark   July 31, 2007 at 7:24AM
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The giant spider has built a giant web across the street and has already started a knitting guild. There is another smaller web very near hers, with a somewhat smaller (soon to be lunch??) occupant. I KNEW she would like that neighborhood more!

    Bookmark   August 1, 2007 at 8:14AM
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AnneCecilia z5 MI

See? A happy ending! Lol!

    Bookmark   August 1, 2007 at 6:13PM
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LOL hillarious read!


    Bookmark   August 7, 2007 at 2:12PM
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Great story---

I don't remember any spiders that size when I lived on Beaufain St. in Charleston way back in the 50's

My DH always said if you get two roaches going in the same direction you could hitch a ride home---LOL

Even with bugs it is still a beautiful city.


    Bookmark   August 7, 2007 at 3:02PM
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Try lemon scented dishsoap sprayed where you don't want them moving back. This works for me.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2007 at 6:03PM
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