Oh guys, can't resist this one - in jest!

moodyblue(8)September 8, 2008

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Barbara, you should have remained a virgin.'

-- Barbara Bush (mother of G.W.)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- - Victor Borge

B e careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

-- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

-- Groucho Marx

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Than it's time for my nap.

-- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

-- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you.

-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

---Billy Crystal

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

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carla17(Z7 NC)

Pauline, I like these. Thanks for the laugh!


    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 9:58AM
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terryjean(5 Central IL)

What a hoot! Thanks for passing them on.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 5:55PM
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Thank you moody blue I needed a chuckle!
"Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one." (A.J. Liebling)
Clare Booth Luce and Dorothy Parker met at a door Booth quipped "age before beauty" Dorothy entered and retorted "and pearls before swine"
The incorrigible Talulah Bankhead once said that her father warned her about men and liquor...he never said a thing about women and cocaine!

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 11:35PM
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sammy zone 7 Tulsa

I have not seen those all together. THanks for the post.

    Bookmark   September 10, 2008 at 4:46AM
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Pauline---thanks for these gems-----
I've missed you.


    Bookmark   September 10, 2008 at 1:38PM
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Labrea, thanks for those ones too. I have to remember the first one. I am sure I should be able to use it, teehee!

    Bookmark   September 20, 2008 at 12:43AM
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