Guys' Rules

taureauSeptember 15, 2007

>> > Guys' Rules

>> >

>> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > Finally, the guys' side of the story.

>> >

>> >

>> > We always hear "the rules" From the female side.

>> >

>> > Now here are the rules from the male side.

>> > These are our rules!

>> > Please note... these are all numbered "1"

>> > ON PURPOSE!

>> > 1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>> >

>> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

>> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

>> > We need it up, you need it down.

>> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

>> >

>> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

>> > or the changing of the tides.

>> > Let it be.

>> >

>> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

>> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > 1. Crying is blackmail.

>> >

>> > 1. Ask for what you want.

>> > Let us be clear on this one:

>> > Subtle hints do not work!

>> > Strong hints do not work!

>> > Obvious hints do not work!

>> > Just say it!

>> >

>> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

>> > question.

>> >

>> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what

>> > we do.

>> >

>> >

>> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>> >

>> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

>> >

>> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

>> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

>> >

>> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us

>> > to act like soap opera guys.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

>> >

>> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes

>> > you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

>> >

>> > 1. You can either ask us to do something

>> > Or tell us how you want it done.

>> > Not both.

>> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yours self.

>> >

>> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

>> > commercials.

>> >

>> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

>> >

>> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like

>> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

>> > We have no idea what mauve is.

>> >

>> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

>> > We do that.

>> >

>> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like

>> > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

>> > hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

>> >

>> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you

>> > don't want to hear.

>> >

>> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

>> > fine...Really.

>> >

>> > 1. Don't ask us what we are thinking, unless you are prepared to discuss

>> > hockey, the shotgun formation, or fishing.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > 1. You have enough clothes.

>> >

>> > 1. You have too many shoes.

>> >

>> > 1 I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

>> >

>> > 1. Thank you for reading this.

>> > Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

>> > But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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jannorcal(No CA z9)

Well, if he looked like the guy on the new Polo ad that ivilliage is promoting, then I might be willing to follow his rules.

    Bookmark   September 15, 2007 at 3:52PM
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meredith_e Z7b, Piedmont of NC, 1000' elevation

I'm going to write a book of guys' rules we girls need to adopt and vice versa. I swear!

If he doesn't e-mail back and says he just hates e-mail, does he just hate e-mail, BTW? Don't tell me if it's the wrong answer ;)

    Bookmark   September 15, 2007 at 5:29PM
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sammy zone 7 Tulsa

This is really funny. Thanks for sharing it. It is so true. I think when I began to understand these things, we got along a lot better.

One correction in our home. We have three bathrooms, and one is mine. Anyone who uses mine puts the seat down when he leaves. Nobody has to use mine, but they do because it has toilet paper, kleenex, and is quite clean. It is mine. The seat needs to stay down or go to one of the others.

This was a fun read.

Sammy

    Bookmark   September 15, 2007 at 10:18PM
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harryshoe zone6 eastern Pennsylvania

Taureau,
I don't know if this was meant to be a joke, but it is reality to most guys.

It is my theory that all women, no matter how sweet and reasonable they are 95% of the time, need to be mad at someone the other 5%. If they are married, the "someone" is instantly identified.

That is why when we are asked "Do I look fat in this?" There is no difference between answering "you look fine" and "you look like a pregnant pachyderm squeezed onto a sausage casing". Its your time, take your punishment like a man.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2007 at 8:18AM
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iowa_jade(C 5b H 6)

My SIL & daughter have seperate bathrooms. Saves a lot of grief.

Resentments are bad for your mental health.

Men are pigs. Deal with it.

Foghorn

    Bookmark   September 19, 2007 at 11:45AM
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