it has been a long time !! mon. very long !

zeffyrose_pa6b7(6b7)November 24, 2008

Just wanted to bring all my friends up to date.----It has been a tough year !!

About my pain----The second Epidural has helped quite a bit. I still use a cane because I never know when the pain will hit but with the cane the shot and Advil I'm able to get around. I've been told that the chances of success for a second back surgery is about 35% so I will continue with present treatment. I guess that last hip surgery has agravated the back condition.

I have been spending a lot of time in Lancaster trying to help my daughter move----It is a heartache for all of us---packing up 24 years of memories is difficult. It makes all of us so sad----the house is lovely with a gorgeous view of the sunrise every morning and the sunset every night. It breaks my heart but it has to be done.

Robyn's daughter is still angry with her-----I guess the brainwashing by her father has worked. We can only pray for the best.

There are too many stories for me to go into all of it here but Rick has made it very difficult for Robyn since he walked out over a year ago.

Robyn filed for divorce a couple of months ago---Rick has been dragging his feet.

She found a nice apartment in Jared's school district but I guess Jared will want to stay in the home with his father (another heartbreak and long story).He is 15 and this has been tough on him also.

Bob and I never thought this is the way we would be spending our "golden years"-------YUK !!

Bob is Robyn's stepfather but better than most biological fathers ---I truly think he has saved Robyn's life through all this mess--He has always been wonderful to my children !Robyn was just 16 when her father passed away--------Robyn is so thin and so sad !!!

Most of the time while I'm helping her I too feel like throwing up-- It would be so much easier if her daughter would come back and help us.

Thanks for listening----hope to be back more often but I don't have access to a computer while I'm away.

Hope all is well and have a nice Thanksgiving--

We will be having 15 for dinner---Thank goodness for Bob---He does all the shopping and helps with everything----

This year I will only be making the two turkeys--stuffing and gravy-----the layered salad- mince pie and Bobby's favorite jello mold.---All the rest is up to other family members.

Have a great Thanksgiving and I'll be back soon.

Thanks for your friendship

Love to all


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celeste(zone 4 NH)

Dear has certainly been a tough year on you and your family and my heart is still with you. I was glad
to hear from you, even if not all of the news is wonderful.
Not too very long ago I was also in a heartbreaking situation, in fact, exactly a year ago on Thanksgiving...remember? How I cried and my heart ached as Gracie drove down on Thanksgiving Day to Florida all by herself to be with that loser-boyfriend! I never thought the painful saga would ever end, but here she is today, living with us again and shining her smile on all of us.
And Mom, even though the Alzheimer's is progressing and she is getting more and more frail, she is happy here with us. Your prayers will be answered in due time, and one day this dark fog that has been hovering over you & yours will be lifted....and the sun will come out and shine on you again. It seems so dark now, but it WILL get better.

Happy are in my prayers & thoughts.


    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 5:26PM
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morz8(Washington Coast Z8b)

Hi Zeffy - I'm glad you took the time to catch us up on your life, I've been wondering. In fact I have a Thanksgiving card in front of me on my desk with your name on it and cannot find your street address! So now you know how cluttered my office is, because I know it's here somewhere, just not in my email address book under residence, or my regular address book either.

I'm so happy you are feeling better - it doesn't sound perfect but better is good if it's letting you enjoy some things again. And I love the idea of two turkeys to cut down on your work Thanksgiving Day (read your other post on the day-before gravy). I'm the gravy maker in our family and will cook that at my Sis's house; last year my brother put the turkey in a roaster in his Traeger grill (uses wood pellets) at Christmas and the bird was great but I had a heck of a time with the gravy, the drippings had a distinct smokey taste that I didn't like and I couldn't find anything to add to diminish the smoke flavor. Thought I might roast some hind quarters or something ahead of time and freeze drippings to take this Christmas on the chance he does that again :) Maybe I'll even just roast a small bird for leftovers and use the juices from that.

I think Robyn can count on her children seeing the divorce differently when given some time to mature and get used to the change. It would be nice if it was sooner, but if she's patient I'm convinced they'll come around. When my sister and her husband divorced, to her credit she never once said anything critical about him to her kids and they blamed her for his unhappiness and their own. Once grown, they came to understand on their own and to trust her completely while with their dad, they realized (finally) they were always trying to please him enough to 'deserve' his love.

In fact, in court (huge battle over custody) the judge even said HE trusted her enough to put the kids ahead of her own feelings and make sure they had quality time with their dad, he didn't believe the same to be true of her ex, told him that, and she was given full custody.

Celeste, I hope you have a lovely holiday too - what a difference a year makes! I think you have an angel on your shoulder watching the loving care you give your mother - that mother who looks so content in the pictures you've shared.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 7:11PM
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carla17(Z7 NC)

Florence, Divorce is hard on any age child. I only hope that as they grow and mature, they will understand better and realize it's a better situation.
I think my mother has the same trouble as you, with her back and two hip replacements. She's in pain and can't walk well. I would like to hear about your epidural sometime. I'm glad something is working for you and you must feel pretty good to do all that cooking! I hope you don't wear yourself out. Thanks for checking in.


    Bookmark   November 25, 2008 at 7:10PM
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harryshoe zone6 eastern Pennsylvania

I'm glad you are feeling better. Time will fix your daughter's problem. There's little you can do but be available. Try to enjoy the holidays.


    Bookmark   November 26, 2008 at 10:27AM
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sammy zone 7 Tulsa

Florence, I wish you the very best.

Once your daughter becomes stronger, and begins a new life, her daughter may see things differently. I don't remember how old she is, but the young man at 15 is still very young to do anything but identify with the Dad.

You know my students are all around 15 or 16, and so many are from divorced parents. The parents will call and often alert the counselor to alert us that the divorce is very bad, and that they are really concerned about the kids.

The kids on the other hand seem to be fine. The dentist excuse is signed by Mom, the grade is signed by Dad. Each comes to the school events with a significant other and explains how important the child is to them.

Even young people in their twenties and older can revert to younger thinking if they cannot really comprehend what is happening. The daughter may feel threatened, and be in a child mode right now. You know she will come out of it when she feels safe.

I do hope you can take good care of yourself, and of your daughter. I am sure the children will be fine.

I hope you enjoy your holidays.


    Bookmark   November 27, 2008 at 9:27AM
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was glad to see the catch up note from you---tho I don't write much I still check for conversations from old forum members--sorry you are going thru so much--I think some of my worst pain has come from watching my children go thru things that I cannot change.
Hoping you can find some bright spots in the holidays and the new year.


    Bookmark   December 5, 2008 at 1:37PM
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