Not sure what to do

cherrykist(Z-7 NC)November 18, 2007

In December I will be hosting a baby shower for my daughter. I have decided not to decorate the formal dining room with Christmas items until after the shower. That way the room can be decorated with Baby shower items. My daughter thinks since her in-laws do not celebrate Christmas I shouldn't decorate for Christmas anywhere until after the shower. I love Christmas and start decorating the day after Thanskgiving. I think her request is rediculous and I don't think anyone would be offended. I wouldn't be if the situation were reversed. Thoughts anyone?

Tammy

36 days until christmas and counting!!!!!

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meredith_e Z7b, Piedmont of NC, 1000' elevation

Maybe I'm crazy but I really do think most people enjoy seeing things from other cultures? I say definitley do what you would normally do, but don't, say, make them join in the prayer before dinner necessarily, ya know?

I ADORE Christmas, BTW, so it's good to see someone already excited :)

I am running across questions like these myself for the first time [after having friends of every main culture you can think of!] 'cos a good friend of mine lives where people can get very testy about stuff like this and we are different religions. Strange stuff to me! Hopefully, kindness and respect will make everything go right in every situation :) Good luck!

    Bookmark   November 18, 2007 at 4:45PM
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trishaw(Z7 Upper SC)

I say decorate! It is your home and I really don't think anyone would be offended. You certainly are not being expected to change your lifestyle with this marriage are you? I am with Meredith on this one, I think people enjoy learning different cultures.

Trish

    Bookmark   November 18, 2007 at 5:02PM
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hoovb zone 9 sunset 23

It's your home! If you like it, that's what matters. I'm sure your in-laws have seen Christmas decorations before and have lived to tell about it.

Just because they don't celebrate that particular holiday doesn't mean you can't, and as a matter of fact, they may not be the least bit offended.

    Bookmark   November 18, 2007 at 6:28PM
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carla17(Z7 NC)

What everyone said, do it!

Carla

    Bookmark   November 18, 2007 at 6:51PM
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morz8(Washington Coast Z8b)

Tammy - Another 'what everyone else said'

I think omitting Christmas from your formal dining room so people can focus on baby is plenty generous gesture enough. Very thoughtful of you.

Now if I could just catch a little of your Christmas enthusiasm - I'm still working on my Thanksgiving grocery list :)

    Bookmark   November 18, 2007 at 9:31PM
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harryshoe zone6 eastern Pennsylvania

I say compromise is good. Go with lots of nativity scenes and you can cover both.

Seriously, DW is just like you. Decorating for Christmas is her expression of art and culture. Even if I had Bin Laden in for the holidays, there would be no stopping DW.

    Bookmark   November 19, 2007 at 7:46AM
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kathwhit(z8, West OR)

Ha ha Harry! Tammy, I'm with the majority.
K

    Bookmark   November 19, 2007 at 2:18PM
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theroselvr

It's really disgusting what's happening to this holiday. Those of us that do celebrate are starting to be the minority it seems. There's a town in NJ that won't be putting up anything to do with Christmas at their public buildings, it will be winter themed with no red or green.

I think you can decorate. Heck, if it was at their house, you wouldn't be offended if they didn't decorate, right? You can get some pine, then add some baby pink or blue balls to it, along with little picks for the baby. It will be cute. You can then pull the stuff out and replace with what you usually use. A winter themed baby shower...

I too love to decorate but won't be doing a lot this year due to the house for sale. I know how long it takes to decorate, doesn't your daughter remember?

    Bookmark   November 20, 2007 at 7:46AM
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cherrykist(Z-7 NC)

Thank you all for the positive encouragement! I will kepp my decorating on schedule as planned. This baby shower has brought a lot of uneasiness in the houselhold. This is my oldest daughters first baby, and it's just six months after my youngest daughter lost her baby at birth. So we were not quite sure how to handle having a shower and then with the difference in religous beliefs among the in laws...I was a little concerned. But you all have laid my fears to rest. Thank you.
Roselvr, my daughter doesn't have childhood memories of Christmas like I do. My then husband didn't celebrate Christmas or any other holiday for that matter, so I didn't either, hence my children didn't. I missed Christmas so much. Now I am remarried and celebrate again with more gusto then ever! Two of my three children started celebrating Christmas a few years ago, now that they have families of their own. My oldest is confused and is now engaged to a man who also grew up not celebrating Christmas but now no longer believes his former religion. So the both of them of confused. I think with their baby daughter due so very near Christmas they will eventually celebrate.
It was always a dream of mine to pass the Christmas memories I grew up with on to my children. My children will never have the memories of Christmas like I do and that makes me sad inside sometimes. But I am so happy to be celebrating now and decorate my home like a christmas wonderland not only for me but for my grandchildren!
Thank you everyone, I am so glad I have friends like you to talk to.

Tammy

    Bookmark   November 20, 2007 at 8:51AM
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diane_nj 6b/7a

Tammy, if everyone who did not celebrate Christmas was offended by places that were decorated, they would not leave their homes from the end of September until the end of January. My town has their decorations up as of Sunday evening, tree gets lighted on Friday (note to self to get home before dark). It is your house, your HOME. Decorate it the way you like. Anyone who doesn't like it can stay home. Did they not know that you love decorating for Christmas? Is this something new for you? No, it isn't. Enjoy your home, put up your holiday decorations, add the shower do-dads on top, do not be worried, have a fun shower!

    Bookmark   November 20, 2007 at 10:31AM
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theroselvr

This baby shower has brought a lot of uneasiness in the houselhold. This is my oldest daughters first baby, and it's just six months after my youngest daughter lost her baby at birth.

I'm sorry. This will be hard for her. No matter what you do, your youngest daughter is going to be hurting. This would have been her baby's 1st Christmas... I think I worry more about your youngest then the one having the shower.

Roselvr, my daughter doesn't have childhood memories of Christmas like I do. My then husband didn't celebrate Christmas or any other holiday for that matter, so I didn't either, hence my children didn't. I missed Christmas so much. Now I am remarried and celebrate again with more gusto then ever! Two of my three children started celebrating Christmas a few years ago, now that they have families of their own. My oldest is confused and is now engaged to a man who also grew up not celebrating Christmas but now no longer believes his former religion. So the both of them of confused. I think with their baby daughter due so very near Christmas they will eventually celebrate.
It was always a dream of mine to pass the Christmas memories I grew up with on to my children. My children will never have the memories of Christmas like I do and that makes me sad inside sometimes. But I am so happy to be celebrating now and decorate my home like a christmas wonderland not only for me but for my grandchildren!

I grew up with two parents that came here from Hungary.. My mothers family was very poor, so she never really got anything for Christmas. Growing up, she hated Christmas, we all knew that. When I got older, I took on the decorating and after having my own kid decided to make my own Christmas traditions.

Now that you're celebrating again, you have the chance to make memories. While you can't go back in time, you surely can give the grandchildren something to remember.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2007 at 7:49AM
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zeffyrose_pa6b7(6b7)

Dear Tammy------I don't know where to start.-----
You have several different problems here------first of all the pain the one daughter is feeling. There is no way you can soften that pain for her---Whenever someone loses a child that pain lasts forever------We can only pray that she has the strength to help her sister enjoy her new baby----I'm sure the whole family shares her sorrow---

About the
Christmas decorations-------I usually have at least two trees up all year-----the one with Angels and the one with roses and angels----I took them down last year to clean around them---LOL LOL but they will be up again this year---
I also collect angels which are all over the house so most people are accustomed to the "Christmas" feeling----

I think all the folks above are right-----It is your home and you should decorate the way that makes you happy---

My daughter's almost "ex" gave her a difficult time every Christmas so she had to do it all by herself---I hope her children carry on the tradition-----
Our family always made a big deal about Christmas.- I grew up during the depression but we always had a tree and a few gifts--I have wonderful memories of my childhood and hopefully I have passed that on to the children-----

Thanks goodness my present DH shares the joy and nothing is too much trouble for him.

So my advice-----START DECORATING------Too many places are trying to remove Christmas-----

My daughter is in the middle of a painful separation and just the other day I said if she ever gets involved with another man one of her first questions (along with the more serious ones)should be "Do you enjoy Christmas"?????

Good Luck Tammy-----Please show us Christmas Pictures
I love it-----One year I was helping to decorate the tree from my wheelchair----(where there is the will---there is a way)---LOL

Here is on of the angel tress that is up all year--this one has over 400 angels most of them gifts---many memories----

Florence------

    Bookmark   November 23, 2007 at 2:27PM
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