A girlie question--Evening Wedding attire

rob333December 12, 2011

I have to go to a wedding this Saturday. It's in the evening and it's a fancy deal. Mommy is wearing either dark green or black velvet. I suppose black is ok, but I really don't like the idea of that. I feel like you shouldn't wear white, red, or black to weddings. But hey, there's my own hangup. As it's a Christmas-themed wedding, mommy suggested I wear the red sweater with black beading (filled with glitter and glitz) over black tuxedo pants, but I don't know. Did I mention I reinjured my broken leg? I'm still wearing the stupid boot or flats sometimes, but definitely not high heels.

So I am stuck. If I spend any money, what shoult it look like? Not white, not black, not red, and nothing that can't be worn with flats. I just can't picture it.


Here is a link that might be useful: this is the exact sweater she wants me to wear

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jazmynsmom(Z5 Madison-ish)

Wait: Why is red Verboten?

There's nothing wrong with wearing some black (or some white) to a wedding. Especially as a neutral to pair with a pop of color. Think about how many men's "go to" suits are black. But they pair it with a shirt and a colored tie.

You're making this far more difficult than you need to. Yes, if you dressed in head-to-toe black, it could appear that you were making some kind of statement (assuming you're close enough to the bride and groom that the statement would count), but I promise you that an evening wedding in winter will be filled with women wearing little black dresses with pops of color (including red), and looking appropriate and beautiful doing so.

I personally feel that black tuxedo pants would be an elegant way to cover your "stupid" boot without drawing attention to it. Keep your feet comfortable. If they are, you'll be smiling and will then be beautiful no matter what you wear.

There is no need to spend money (unless you want to). That Sweater will hug your curves nicely, and you can wear some flashy earrings.

    Bookmark   December 12, 2011 at 1:25PM
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Now I'm sad. I lost the earrings that matched it beautifully. ;)

Nah. I appreciate what you're saying. But just cause everyone else is jumping off the cliff doesn't mean I can. I'm just not brave enough to do it. I think Mom's dark green velvet will be just the ticket. And I will wear the boot so much between now and then, I might get to wear real shoes for a couple of hours (since I was fully up to speed right before the reinjury). Not anything like what you've shown as your shoes (great looking!) as I don't wanna fall over. Those babies take practice :)

Ok, maybe the tuxedo pants. Red is verboten as it is, well, dare I say it, too "lady of the evening" for weddings, at least, here in the South. That, and here's a Brit's take on it:

"I don't know if its just me but from a guy's perspective there is nothing like a girl in a red dress.

It just grabs the eye.

A wedding is supposed to be centered around the bride and as such you stealing the show in that red dress of yours probably wouldn't go so well! Don't worry though i'm sure you'll still look great! Cheers"

    Bookmark   December 12, 2011 at 1:31PM
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The sweater is beautiful, but if you don't want red, does it come in other colors? Say, a royal blue or rich purple? Definitely get something you can wear, again---not too dressy, I mean. (Of course, that is coming from someone who is still wearing the pants suit bought for GD's wedding almost ten years' ago!)

    Bookmark   December 12, 2011 at 6:15PM
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It is interesting to read about the different customs in different parts of the country re colors to wear to a wedding.
I like the idea of the tuxedo pants, how about a nice somewhat fun and frilly top?

    Bookmark   December 12, 2011 at 7:37PM
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Proper etiquette and dress for a wedding today isn't nearly as tradtional today as people believe. The fact that trousers for women, and strapless bridal gowns are acceptable speaks to that. Had one worn either in the days of my first wedding, I suspect they'd have been met at the church door by the officiant and been asked to go home and change. LOL.

Yes, the attention is supposed to be focused on the bride but honestly..........unless an outfit is downright bizarre, the bride will never even notice what her audience is wearing. I don't remember one single item of attire at any of my weddings other than my attendants, my mother or myself.

BTW, I was married to present hubby wearing a wine-red velvet dress just days before Christmas. I was aware of the old saw saying 'wed in red, better off dead'. LOL. Wore it anyway and this is the marriage lasting for landmark anniversaries. People who sit around noting what other people wear have too much time on their hands. ;-)

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 6:56AM
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Thanks y'all! I appreciate the ideas. I already own the sweater and have had it for a couple of years. But I really like girling-up the pants idea west. I'm pretty sure I'll have to wear pants.


Suzy, I have the perfect purse for your wedding dress. I'll bet you were fantastically dazzling in it. I've just had the beejeebers of what to wear beaten into my head from my youth. It was so odd as a youngin' having to wear gloves in Hawaii while everyone else was hanging loose and wearing flip flops everywhere. HA! But that's my heritage from both sides. High society on mom's side and military officer on daddy's side. Stuck with it, but such is my life.

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 8:49AM
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Oh, I was a military brat and an officer's wife as well, and the protocol was so defined, one even knew before the fact where they'd be seated at a function or park in the lot outside. Neither of my parents were 'high society', but of a generation where upward mobility was linked to 'what other people' thought. Since America didn't have royalty, we had to invent them and it was done in social circles. I do a lot of historical and genealogical research, and anyone my age or older knows very well how the society section of the paper read. It was the common mass' fifteen minutes of fame and nobody begrudged it to them.

Oh gosh.......not that protocol should dissolve completely. I still cringe at white shoes worn before Memorial day, sandals in winter, school jackets worn over formals, and bridal gowns designed like somebody forgot to cover their underwear, complete with corset stays showing as well as a mountain of cleavage all the while a veil over the face denoting modesty. rofl. After googling the popular W**martian U-tube videos nothing shocks me anymore and a really pretty red sweater and Tuxedo pants for a wedding strikes me as beautifully appropriate. Enjoy yourself.

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 9:13AM
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Robin, Michelle said it perfectly.

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 10:06AM
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    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 6:11PM
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I found it! It is a very pretty greyish blue blouse with chiffon rosettes that have shiny bugle beads for their centers. West's idea won out. I just couldn't wear the red sweater. I'll wear that to my sister's big birthday bash brunch (her birthday is actually on Christmas). Thanks everyone.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 8:38AM
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jazmynsmom(Z5 Madison-ish)

HUSSY!!! I can't believe you'd wear RED to a family birthday gathering! What shall we tell the children? ;-)

Feeling comfortable in what you're wearing is the first step to looking good in it. Enjoy!

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 9:12AM
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How else am I gonna outshine her? She's a flaxen beauty with blazing green eyes. Taller, thinner, and prettier. I'm smarter and bustier. Whoopdedo. She's the nicer of we two, but gaining on me in b-tchiness. We'll see who wins in the end. NAH! She and I were inseperable from the time she was in utero. I knew she was gonna be a girl. I can remember laying my head on my mommy's tummy and feeling close to her. To this day, no one, and I mean no one better hurt my sissy.

I called mom afterwards and said, "Well, I've ensured it will snow, because I found IT and am looking forward to wearing it!"

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 9:49AM
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This has been interesting for me too, learning how different degrees of formality are expected in different locations.

A few years ago, we had a family wedding in Minnesota - it was obvious which group was the New York contingent: we all had long gowns, sparkly shoes, etc, men in formal suits (not tuxes though). The Minnesota contingent were much less formal - pretty day dresses; men without ties etc.
No one minded, and everyone had fun (except me - I had bronchitis and was taking surreptitious swigs of Nyquil when no-one was looking).

Have a wonderful time Rob, and I bet you look fabulous.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 5:08PM
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A muted color with some frills and a bit of bling for an evening wedding sounds great and your red sweater sounds fun for a christmas birthday party. Have fun.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 7:08PM
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