Onward and Upward

jak1(4 Ontario Can)December 28, 2008

A new year looms! Do you resolve to do anything different? I do. In another post!



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I'm not entirely sure I'm going to undertake anything radically different in the coming year. Rather, I'm going to make every effort to continue doing the things that have proven most successful in the one nearly past.

I enjoy my work and I'm going to continue focussing on that. To that end, I'm going to put more effort into making it EASIER to do the work I must perform for my daily bread. I've left several professional rows fallow since I began taking care of Mum and it's time to give them a fresh turn and new look.

Of necessity, I had to "shut up and put up" when Mum was alive and here with me. I didn't have the energy to spend on taking a stand about a lot of things that really rankled me. Keeping my head down and pulling into the yoke was about all I could muster and I paid a very high emotional price for that necessity. In the coming year I have no intention of being brow beaten or worn down into "accepting" aspects of my daily life that irritate me, sap my creativity, and waste my time and energy. As my brother says, "I don't have time for 'stupid'".

I'm DEFINITELY going to continue the JulieJob routine and will forever be in your stead for getting me into that routine, Julie! Instead of being overwhelmed by the accumulated clutter and subsequent dirt I've found great satisfaction in tackling one piddly job and getting it DONE. In truth, Julie, I've found that success with the piddly jobs has given me nearly as much satisfaction as completing a BIG job.

(I hope the cleaning won't compromise our "superior immune systems"! you think?)

    Bookmark   December 31, 2008 at 6:39AM
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gardenbug(Canada zone 5)

Well, once I return to the farm, I'm hoping my new health routines will fall into place. Does it count that I got started before the new year began?

Lots more needs work: Speaking a similar language to DH would be a big improvement. Visiting DS more frequently, especially during this very difficult period with his work.

On the home front, Julie Jobs need to be started...but motivation is still weak. I have trouble weaning myself off email and computer forums with DD as she still very much needs to share and bounce off worries there. What a rats nest she must contend with. Likely it is a 5-6 year long process...Such is life. Pets are such a comfort!

    Bookmark   December 31, 2008 at 1:55PM
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jak1(4 Ontario Can)

"Keeping my head down and pulling into the yoke was about all I could muster and I paid a very high emotional price for that necessity. In the coming year I have no intention of being brow beaten or worn down into "accepting" aspects of my daily life that irritate me, sap my creativity, and waste my time and energy."

Chelone, we must be kindred spirits!! I was thinking these same thoughts, and when I logged on this morning, you had already said it better than I ever could have! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Like you I also intend to keep on with the things I've done right - the Juliejobs that help keep me from becoming overburdened with a bunch of liitle tasks that never seem to get caught up; continuing with my system of money management that is finally working like it should; paying a little more attention to energy consumption, mine included!

But I am also going to work a little harder with TCS. He must become a self sufficient little boy sooner than many as I will be too old to take care of everything by the time he is in mid-to-late teens. So slowly he will be babied a little less, given a little more responsibility.

The adult men in my family will find me requiring more responsibility from them as well.

And the health issues: better nutrition (more time in the kitchen for me), a little more exercise for us all including the dog (in spite of the treadmill). Fewer sweets, less wine (OMG did I really say that!!!???). And as far as I am concerned, more concentrated time with TCS having fun - not just homework, bath and music supervision - building Lego, playing air hockey, going places together purely for enjoyment: we both need more of that.

So, that will be me this year.

And poor you - you folks are going to have to listen to this for the next twelve months!!!



    Bookmark   December 31, 2008 at 1:56PM
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Though I face uncertainty in the upcoming year , I am going to concentrate efforts on those things I can control, and let go of stuff I canÂt. The listing on my house expires today, I will let it. Agent will take down sign. I plan on no more than a 6 month hiatues from house selling (dependent of course on IU6 itinerary and dates) in hopes that things will have stabilized. Biggest Julie Job of 09 will be to clean out the garage, once and for all ! And I resolve to buy at least 12 Casablancas. DonÂt let me forgetÂ

Kathy in Napa

    Bookmark   December 31, 2008 at 6:24PM
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veronicastrum(z5 IL)

Diane Rehm today replayed her interview with Maya Angelou from this fall. I resolve to maintain an "attitude of gratitude" as best I can, and to remember that smiling and saying "Good morning" to everyone I encounter can have a positive impact.

My Julie Job for the first half of 09 will be to get the lower half of my house under control. Many of the records from the business closed in 2003 can be disposed of, and perhaps the storage room will be organized once and for all?


    Bookmark   December 31, 2008 at 10:29PM
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prairiemoon2 z6 MA

"I'm going to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out all day long..." -Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle

Maintaining, Preserving and Improving Health...everything else depends on this.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2009 at 5:43AM
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Resolving anything this year feels like a crap shoot given the need to "just maintain" during 2008. That said, this year I resolve to diminish my fear of failure and not overcompensate for my self-perceived inadequacies. While one side of me realizes that I'm a smart, intelligent, professional, loving, understanding person at the core, the outside of me sometimes comes across as crass and all-knowing and bossy and overwhelming. How I "am" is one thing I can control and calming down so people can better listen is a goal.

The other is to go to the dentist -- something I've avoided for no fewer than 10 years (but I brush and floss twice a day). Childhood dentist-visit traumas left an indelible mark and though I know better, I literally get the shakes and break out in a cold sweat just picking up the phone to make an appointment.

From the sublime to the ridiculous!!


    Bookmark   January 1, 2009 at 9:18AM
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Marian_2(Z6 ARKozarks)

I like Pm2's answer, but I will leave off the "Improving Health" part. I don't think there is much chance of that happening for me, or for Nolon.

Just 'hanging on' seems to be the most that I can hope for.

As Tim likes to say: Get tough or die! .

Sorry...seems awfully negative doesn't it? But I do see a better future farther on. :-) Thumbs up!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2009 at 9:38AM
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Jerri_OKC(z7 Ok)

This Christmas I smacked right into the fact that I never really mourned my Mom's death. When she died the focus was on making it through the trip back to 'he!!' for the funeral and surviving my father's poisonous attacks.
2009 will be a year of mourning and recovery for me, as it will be a lot of Idylls. That's not really a resolution - or maybe it is? There is also an ongoing battle against self-perceived inadequacies here. ((Hugs Martie))

Lots of improving health happening here too. LOL


    Bookmark   January 1, 2009 at 1:11PM
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Jerri_OKC(z7 Ok)

I forgot to add that I am going to start piano lessons in 2009. I played until around the time I went to college and it was always something I enjoyed. I've tried picking it up again on my own but I need some structure and encouragement to get through the frustrations of being really bad at something I used to be good at. LOL


    Bookmark   January 1, 2009 at 3:13PM
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prairiemoon2 z6 MA

I was rushing a bit yesterday...I should have explained a bit more what I meant. That quote from Sleepless in Seattle was just part of the quote. He was responding to a question about how he was managing since his wife died. It just struck me at the time as how I have felt after losses in my life. It is more or less along the lines of what others have said, about sometimes it takes all of your focus and energy just to get through each day and try to stay on track. For me, just focusing on keeping my health on track takes all my energy and goals beyond that seem to be constantly on hold. I try not to get ahead of myself with goals that are too ambitious.

Julie...I can identify a lot with your concern about whether you will be there for your grandson/son as you get older and that you want to see that they can take care of themselves. So I would like to be around as long as possible for my kids.

Gardenbug...I would also like to visit our DS more frequently too.

Kathy...about halfway through 2008, DH and I have adopted that philosophy. The old serenity prayer. Trying to let go of the stress over things that you can't do anything about and focus on seeing the options you do have.

I would also love to tackle basement and garage, but we'll see...[g].

Martie...I also have dental visits in my future. After having lots of bad dental experiences, I also find it very stressful to go. My last two visits with my new dentist were very good, but that was for the easy stuff. I googled it and see there is a book on the subject, which I link to below.

Jerri....piano lessons sound great. I took them when I was a kid. I would find it very hard to pick up again. Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge...lol. Would be well worth it for you. It will give you something to feel good about yourself and keep you young!

Marian...the body is amazing. I think you would be surprised how much improvement you can reach at any age. Might be harder for you with your health challenges, but keep plugging away. Exercise and diet can work wonders. If you can very gradually increase what you are now able to do, you might surprise yourself. :-)

Someone once told me that it only takes 21 days to establish a new habit before it starts to become automatic. So here's to the first three weeks of the new year! lol

Enjoyed reading all your new year thoughts.

Here is a link that might be useful: Nothing Personal Doc, but I hate Dentists! The Feel Good Guide to Going to the Dentist

    Bookmark   January 2, 2009 at 4:42AM
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Martie, the dentist was my resolution a couple of year's ago! I told my potential new dentist about my fears, and I made sure she understood!

She gave me noise blocking headphones and I noticed that she sugar coats everything....but that's okay, that's the way I like it. Just remember you pay the dentist bill :) You can always go somewhere else :)

Anyway, I now look forward to how polished my smile is when I leave my 6 month cleaning appointments. And my kids follow my lead :)

I had a terrible dentist in the Navy. You can be punished for breaking/not attending appointments. He seemed to enjoy drilling my teeth with a real disregard for my comfort level. I hope he has a dentist like himself someday :)

In 2009 I want to stay on the path that I am on. I feel like I'm heading in a good direction. I am happy with my health and health goals, I am working on career aspirations, working on my relationship with Nick.

You know, I felt really down yesterday....thinking about all the places I want to be instead of where I am. But where I am is okay....and like I said, my head is pointed in the right directions. So, I'm gonna go put some water in my half empty glass :)


    Bookmark   January 2, 2009 at 9:28AM
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Marian_2(Z6 ARKozarks)

Pm2, I agree with what you said about the human body. I have witnessed some rather amazing recoveries from very serious conditions. Nolon's uncle was one. He was hospitalized with collapsed blood vessels and not expected to live. He was in his early 80s. He not only lived, but lived to be 90. He never exercised, nor was on a healthy diet, neither before, nor after the near death. The last few years his main diet was canned peaches and crackers!

Boy, can I identify with your dentist fears. I, too, have had bad experiences, and have avoided going for at least 3 (?) years. I haven't read your link yet, but will. I believe I am due a new dentist also. :-)

    Bookmark   January 2, 2009 at 9:35AM
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prairiemoon2 z6 MA

Saucy, it sounds like you are absolutely heading in a great direction.

Marian...just think how long he could have lived if he ate right and exercised. [g]

    Bookmark   January 3, 2009 at 7:11AM
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Saucy you have the nicest way with words! When I read what you write it's as if you are sitting right beside me and I like that. I so "get" what you said about your head being pointed in a good direction, I'm feeling that way, too. And it feels good.

The Dentist. Martie, I'm another kindred spirit. I was so afraid of the dentist for so long. Funny how quickly we learn fear when our experiences are linked to unpleasantness, huh? It was nearly 10 yrs. before I was able to rationally deal with my fear of the dentist. But one day it hit me, if I didn't get my mouth and its crumbling dental work under control there would come a day when disaster struck, pain followed, and I'd have to go and deal with it anyway. I even convinced the equally fearful helpmeet (then just a "date") to get with the program, too!

My hands were like ice and I was terrified on that first visit, and the dentist was genuinely surprised. He was so nice to me and very patient. He told me exactly what he was going to do and gave me a hand mirror so I could watch. Over the course of 3 yrs. I picked away at a lot of expensive dental work (can you say "payment plan"?) and have never looked back. It's not my favorite destination, but like Saucy, I like the results and I like our dentist very much. If the dentist you select doesn't feel like a "good fit" go somewhere else, post haste. There's no need to punish yourself even more by paying someone to perpetuate your discomfort/fear! You'll feel like a million bucks once you get that appointment behind you. Good girl!!

    Bookmark   January 3, 2009 at 8:39AM
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Soultion for Dentiphobia-- Go to the dentist 2 or three times a month, it will soon become mundane !
Warning: cash flow may be affected.

Kathy in Napa

    Bookmark   January 3, 2009 at 1:28PM
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