Murphy's pond and garden laws.

Min3 South S.F. Bay CAAugust 3, 2009

Murphy's Pond Laws; (also some for gardening.)

---If the wind picks up, it WILL blow all lightweight stuff right into the pond.

---If you are standing or sitting nearby the pond and drop something, it WILL bounce straight into the water.

---If you flip the hose around, it WILL behead your favorite blooms.

---If you are trimming pond plants, the stems you really need to cut WILL be just exactly out of reach from land.

---If anything with water in it turns over, it WILL spill right into your shoe.

---If you temporarily move a rock, you WILL fall over it.

---If a shrub, tree or flower dies, it WILL be the middle one in a row.

These are just my Murphys. Feel free to add yours if you have some. Min

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hardin(7 SE OK)

If you have a dog that hates water, you will see him swimming in it.

If you need rocks, they will ALL disappear overnight.

    Bookmark   August 3, 2009 at 11:18PM
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fool4flowers(8)

If you have water and frogs you will have a snake.
If you have a wife afraid of snakes you will have to do anything that involves reaching into said pond after that, lol. (I am the wife, lol)

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 12:51AM
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chazparas(USDA zone 9 , San Jose, CA)

If you buy expensive fish they will become sashimi for a heron.

If children visit there will be foreign objects in the pond.

The day you host a BBQ nothing of significance will be blooming.

Waterfall and streams will find the path of least resistance, and the basement stairwell even if it is uphill.

Stalkers like me will post once in a while...thanks for all your helpful tips my ponding friends.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 5:18AM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

you guys are SO funny! i hope you have more. min

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 10:10AM
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LynneNY(z6)

If you have a son, no matter how old he is (26!), he will skip stones into your pond even though you've told him that we do NOT have stones/rocks in the bottom of ours!

If you finally get rid of the pea soup algae in your pond, you will get a great case of string algae a few weeks later!

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 11:28AM
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squirelette

If you run the pump through the winter it will back up and drain the pond on the coldest day of the year, probably in the middle of a howling blizzard.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 11:39AM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

when you race back with your camera, the interesting or beautiful critter will have flown, crawled, swum or slithered away.

or if it by great luck it is still there, your camera battery will have died.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 6:02PM
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pat_c(5/ N W OHIO)

If you put the hose in the pond to fill it and walk away, you will not remember that it is running until the middle of the night.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2009 at 6:49PM
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pezabelle

Oh! Pat C, how true!!!!!

If you remove a tree close to your pond because of the leaves it deposits in your pond, you will find out how many leave and seed pods it kept from going into your pond.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2009 at 1:19PM
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timbersmith(6A)

When you've topped up the water level to a satisfactory height, a rainstorm will come by during the night and raise the level that much more, potentially "drowning" your lily blossoms in the process.

When you attempt to trim that stem that is *just* within reach, you'll slip and trim the perfectly fine stem(s) around it instead.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2009 at 4:38PM
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riverdown

When you've been informed the 'back button' won't work, it seems to be the only button that you can click even though you didn't really use it previously!

When you're carefully positioning a plant just at your maximum reach in the pond it will tip gently & roll down into a deeper area

    Bookmark   August 7, 2009 at 8:01AM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

riverdown- you are so right! that plant pot that is rolling deeper into the pond will also spill gravel and dirt into the nice clear water as it goes down.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2009 at 9:52AM
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annedickinson

Rocks delicately placed on the edge of the pond WILL fall in. (especially if it is at the deep end of the pond)

Can of fish food will be forgotten and left out in the rain.

The "beautiful" plant will become aggressive and overpower more delicate plants AND become impossible to erradicate.

Fish net will rot out and give way just when you need it most.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2009 at 1:14PM
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gin3

When you reach the zen stage of blissful calm and quiet in your garden, your neighbor WILL start his leafblower.

Your most expensive tool WILL be the one that is lost.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2009 at 8:24PM
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sleeplessinftwayne(z4-5 IND)

Murphy rules.
Murphy was an optimist.
My pond is a work in progress, forever.
Sandy

    Bookmark   August 8, 2009 at 2:34AM
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krnuttle

"Your most expensive tool WILL be the one that is lost."

Opposite: If you buy a cheap tool in will still be around after you die.

    Bookmark   August 8, 2009 at 8:22AM
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kittcatt(5)

I'd like to add a few.

Your Favorite Tool will be the ONE that YOU can't find.

When building your pond, it WILL rain a downpour or two before you can get the liner in. maybe more than once...this one I know unhappily from experience.

You WILL have a fight or two, with your DH or significant other while building the POND!

    Bookmark   August 10, 2009 at 10:35PM
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stanhopea(10/24 CA)

Hi, I'm also a lurker here, but I'd like to add some.

The night before the first and only bud so far on your night-blooming water lily that you've waited all summer to bloom is going to open, the neighborhood raccoons will decide to play in your pond and manage to rip off only the bud while leaving everything else intact.

Your second night-blooming water lily bud will decide to poke its head out of the water in the middle of the worst Santa Ana winds of the year. After a few minutes of 100 degree 40 mph winds and negative 20 percent humidity, you have a nice, crispy dried flower bud.

Your cat will find your bag of fish food and tear it open in the middle of the night, leaving you with a very stuffed cat and a nice mess to clean up when you wake up.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2009 at 11:37PM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

the only way i avoided a fight with my dh was to say "go away and i'll let you know when the pond is done" and he was happy to comply. i have to admit i finally needed his help getting the huge heavy liner put in, and there were a few stress-words while doing that, but all in all it was the most peaceful project ever completed on our property. lol

another murphy: if you really want to complete a project all by yourself in secret, some little unexpected thing will give you away, like the receipt for the expensive pond liner unintentionally left on the car seat.

    Bookmark   August 11, 2009 at 4:55PM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

Ongoing Murphys- he NEVER gives up!

---if you shade your pond with a little umbrella on a very still hot day in the summer, and then go away somewhere, a wind will come up and knock the umbrella into your pond or blow it into your favorite flower bed, flattening all the blooms.

---if you prop your hose so that it waters a particular shrub, as soon as you move out of sight it will shift a little so that it waters a sidewalk or driveway.

min

    Bookmark   August 12, 2010 at 11:49AM
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ponderpaul(7a)

and
----if you cut your liner, you will wish you had done it differently before you have time to lay your utility knife down
---- if you raise an edge of your stream liner to fix an overflow, it will be overflowing somewhere else the next morning

I wish all these posts were was all humor instead of so much grim reality! Does as much good to laugh as it does to cry --- thanx for the laughs!!

    Bookmark   August 12, 2010 at 2:48PM
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hardin(7 SE OK)

You are so right, ponderpaul. As posted above, Murphy Rules!

If you have 'designed' the perfect pond a specific size, later you will wish you had doubled the size. I do, but I shall someday build another one. Already have it in my head, just need to ask my checkbook for permission. LOL.

    Bookmark   August 12, 2010 at 10:17PM
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horton(6 b Ontario.)

Wise man say, "If you invite guy named Murphly over to see your pond, he'll dlink all your bleer"!
"Confucius"

    Bookmark   August 13, 2010 at 8:24AM
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duddlydoright

if you cut the liner anywhere for any reason, or dont even cut it at all, IT WILL LEAK

    Bookmark   August 13, 2010 at 10:11AM
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ponderpaul(7a)

hardin
picked-up my larger liner last week in Shawnee. Just waiting for some moisture and cooler.
OH Murphy -- If you need to change something, current conditions are not right

    Bookmark   August 13, 2010 at 2:38PM
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jalal(z3/Canada)

Okay. A new one. If you have lotsa rain and a high water table your pump box will flood and your pumps will be sitting in water. If you use quilt batting near an external pump it may (and in my case did) find its way into the pump and wind itself around the pump.

If you have a pond you will spend many hours maintaining the plants, fish, liner, pumps whatever but you will also spend many hours sitting by the pond enjoying the sound of the waterfall and the antics of your pond inhabitants including the happy dance. Patti

    Bookmark   August 13, 2010 at 2:54PM
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vieja_gw(z7NM)

Oh Pat!!! : I just came outdoors only to see pond water ( & ? baby fish, etc.) running all over the lawn. Yep, I put the hose in the pond to add 'a bit of water' & just stepped away 'for a second' to pull some weeds ....!!! But it does seem 'forever' to add the water if I'm standing there watching & wasting good time ...!! ha

Good to hear I am not the only one who continues to do this ...!

    Bookmark   August 16, 2010 at 4:24PM
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lisa11310(z5 MI)

LMAO! Horton, your a hoot! Not real funny but my thought, the more you mess around with your pond the more trouble you will have with it!

    Bookmark   August 16, 2010 at 5:15PM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

A year later Murphy is STILL hanging around in my garden;

---If you quickly hide a favorite took from the little grandchildren, you will never find it again.
---If you give up and order another, you will uncover the first one when you aren't even looking for it anymore.

---If you have a pond fish, Murphy will make sure that its the one that disappears.

Is he still making trouble at your place? Min

    Bookmark   August 16, 2011 at 9:44PM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

of course i meant TOOL not 'took'. min

    Bookmark   August 16, 2011 at 9:49PM
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annedickinson

Yeah, Min:

If the neighbor isn't feeding his pet bunny your compassionate, caring BF will cut down all the morning glories and most of the sunflowers just to feed it. How sweet of him :-/

    Bookmark   August 17, 2011 at 4:30PM
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stacyp9(5 Chicago)

1. The koi that decides to leap out, will be your favorite.

2. The torrential rains will start the day you start to dig.

3. The power outage will occur when you are on vacation, on the hottest or coldest day of the year.

    Bookmark   August 19, 2011 at 6:28PM
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annedickinson

I have another one... new today:

The day you are going to show off your pond and skippy filter to another ponder, you have a massive thunder/hailstorm that smashes lovely flowers and your stream developes a leak so the pond is about 8" down.

    Bookmark   August 19, 2011 at 7:34PM
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hardin(7 SE OK)

The one and only time you slip and fall while in the pond, is the one and only time you are wearing the hearing aid that cost more than the pond itself.

(got lucky and managed to keep the right ear mostly dry. Now I ALWAYS take it off.)

    Bookmark   August 21, 2011 at 10:01PM
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sleeplessinftwayne(z4-5 IND)

LOL! And to add the corollary to Murphy's Law, Murphy was an optimist!

    Bookmark   August 22, 2011 at 10:41AM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

...if any nearby unfenced neighbor adopts a new labrador puppy, it will surely come over to happily thrash around in your pond.
aaargh!

    Bookmark   August 22, 2011 at 7:14PM
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ponderpaul(7a)

min3; no, no, its a schnauzer pup.

    Bookmark   August 23, 2011 at 2:10PM
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Min3 South S.F. Bay CA

ponderpaul- sounds like you have also had some experience with pond invasion. your own dog? min

    Bookmark   August 24, 2011 at 12:27PM
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ponderpaul(7a)

min3; Neighbor's -- crawled through a gape in the gate.

another law; If your neighbors have a pet of any kind, it will find its way to your pond!

    Bookmark   August 24, 2011 at 6:22PM
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