Leaving the Winter Sown gardens.

tiffy_z5_6_can(5/6)January 15, 2011

Well, it's happening. The for sale sign is up on the lawn and prospective buyers are coming through. Boxes are being packed and even more are heading to Goodwill with 20 years worth of accumulated stuff from a marriage which has now failed.

I often find myself gazing our the windows and looking at the Joe Pye Weed stalks gently bending with the winter wind and the snow at their feet. The White Lavender shrugged off the snow and looks nice even when dormant. The Butterfly Bushes are persistant in pretending they will not be bothered by the snow and the cold by keeping the last of their little silver leaves they grew in the fall after pruning the seed heads. The Blue Poppies sleep under the snow...

Ten years of winter sowing surrounds me and I feel sad for many things right now. What the future will bring I don't know, but my chin goes up every once in a while and I dream of gardens yet to be.

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Tiffy,I am so sorry to hear all of this.I have been there, so I know how it feels.
Life has a way of opening new doors to us,you don't know what lies ahead,and you will be surprised at what does.
Some day soon, you will have a garden once again,perhapes even bigger and better.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 1:41PM
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I was just looking for an old posting of mine, and I found a picture of your hosta bed, so pretty.Do you know where you will be moving tiffy?
Will you still be on the forum?
Will you let us know how you are doing?
I am sad for you.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 2:13PM
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mnwsgal 4 MN(4)

I am saddened that you have to leave your home and gardens. Dreaming of a new garden and thinking of the delight and joy the new owners will have next spring can help you move forward. We wish you the best and are here to help you restock when you are ready for new seeds.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 2:14PM
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Tiffy - I remember the sadness most of all. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and hopefully, by the time you're settled, I'll have some seeds/plants to share with you. Keep your chin up, Love and Peace! Shirley

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 4:11PM
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pitimpinai(z6 Chicago)

I am so very sorry, tiffy, so sad to hear these news. I hope things will look up for you. What will you and your lovely daughter do? And your dogs? Where will you be? I will keep you in my thoughts and wish you all the best.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2011 at 8:13PM
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Oh, Nicole! I am so sorry to hear this news. I have been thinking of you lately as I hadn't seen you around much. I just happened to come to the conversation side tonight....haven't been here in a while.
You are probably busy and maybe don't feel like talking much, but don't be a stranger. Lots of us 'know' you from the forum and certainly wish you well in whatever you are going through.....In other words, 'don't be a stranger'
Lots of love, prayers and hugs!! (((tiffy)))

    Bookmark   January 18, 2011 at 6:00PM
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Thanks everyone for your kind words.

The house has been on the market for barely a week and there's a nibble. I sure hope it turns into a bite. I need to move on from this episode in my life.

On Sunday I am looking at a property which some would walk away from. Unfortunately, I am one of those people that sees 'potential'. :O) The dwelling is described on the MLS listing as a 'habitable trailer'... LOL!! Going to go see how 'habitable' this place is. Just looking for a place to live in for a couple of years and then build on. The piece of land is 2 acres set halfway up a hillside in a beautiful cove. The view is amazing - you can see the cove below with the fishing boats and buoys and fishing shacks. There's an island in the cove owned by a German - huge house. (They have been buying a lot of land in this area and they come for the summer.) Then you can see the Atlantic Ocean in the distance. All kinds of houses are around the cove.

Trying not to get my hopes up too high. Sometimes I have to get myself back on the ground. Unfortunately that's where the scary stuff about going through something like this is placed.

I received your package quite by surprise the other day. It came on a 'bad' day and it was most welcomed!! You are an angel.
Robyn will be living between her father and I. She is definitely my priority at this time.
One of our dogs passed away in November of old age, but Raven is doing well. I plan on taking her with me. Just in case I have already found another beautiful place for her to stay. That is the first thing I did when this was 'presented' to me.

Lois and Carol,
Thanks... I'll try to get a computer when I get my own place since my daughter will need this one. I may be off the grid for a while but there are computers at the library in town that I can use. :O)

I'll keep you in mid for seeds. :O)

    Bookmark   January 19, 2011 at 1:09PM
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pitimpinai(z6 Chicago)

The place sounds lovely. I hope you'll get it.
If you find a new place to live, please email me your address. I'll send you seeds.

Hugs from all of us.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2011 at 6:19PM
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Yes tiffy, sending you wonderful,positive vibs your way,it will be so nice if you can get this piece of property,it sounds lovely.
Please keep us up to date.
I can send you seed as well, even plants,when you get where you are going.
((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))))))

    Bookmark   January 19, 2011 at 7:06PM
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plays_in_dirt_dirt(Z7A VA bordering NC state line)

tiffy, I am so saddened by this turn of events in your life. It's like a personal loss to me. I enjoy your posts and photos tremendously and learn so much from you. Sooner, rather than later, you will have beautiful gardens again and I hope you will share them with us. You're welcome to any seeds I have. Please keep us posted as often as you can.

Barbara in Virginia

    Bookmark   January 20, 2011 at 5:22PM
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PVick(6b NYC)

Good heavens, I just happened over to the conversations side, only to meet such sad news. So very sorry to hear of this turn of events. My heart goes out to you.

Wow. I pray that your generous spirit will see you through this; if the good wishes of all of us here count for anything, you will be up and at 'em in good time.

Whoever buys your house just better appreciate those beautiful gardens!

Hugs to you and Robyn!


    Bookmark   January 20, 2011 at 8:53PM
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Tiffy, I may be in your shoes before long myself. It isn't something I talk about or I even think about. I admire you for sharing it with all of us!! I hope everything will work out for the best for you. I remind myself all the time even though it might not be my plan there is a reason and God knows what he is doing.

When time is right, I am growing a ton this year and I also will have a ton of seeds to share. So please don't hesitate!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours!!

    Bookmark   January 22, 2011 at 8:42PM
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Oh, Tiffy, I just checked in after a long absence and read this. My heart aches for you, I'm so sorry. Your house, your beautiful garden, no DH, all your gorgeous winter sown plants, how utterly heartbreaking.

If only there was some way you could keep your place, but you sound resigned.

I'm still grieving over my huge old tree I lost last summer. The last time I posted here, I was thinking about moving. Now my life has changed, and I'm going to have to adapt. Will start a thread.

    Bookmark   January 25, 2011 at 11:49PM
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kqcrna(z6 SW Oh)

Oh, tiffy, I'm so sorry. Please try to keep in touch.


    Bookmark   January 31, 2011 at 9:36AM
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Tiffy...been there, done that. It's a difficult time even if you know it's the right thing to do (((hugs)))

I have plenty of seed from the past two years---just email me if you'd like some once you get settled.

Oh, and I know all about seeing properties for their "potential", lol! Here's hoping you find your Eden, in whatever form it may come *grin*

Susan in Kansas

    Bookmark   February 1, 2011 at 3:39AM
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morz8(Washington Coast Z8b)

Hi Tiff - Two weeks since we've heard from you and you've been on my mind all month long, I hope you're doing OK.

Did anything come of the 2 acres with amazing view? I've had fingers crossed, if not a garden it's being close to water than can keep me sane, is it the same for you?

Please take care of yourself, check in here when you can. We don't care if you don't have news, just would like to know how you're doing. I have some Lingholm seeds set aside for you when you're ready. (((((Hugs))))))

    Bookmark   February 2, 2011 at 1:17PM
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I agree with morz8,tiffy,we are hoping you are doing ok.
Been thinking of you as well,and hoping you will be getting your new place.I will send you a hosta come spring.

    Bookmark   February 3, 2011 at 12:00AM
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Last night I read your posts and tried to respond but couldn't log in. So frustrating. I was having a difficult moment and wanted to let you all know that I wish you were all close by for hugs.

Morz8, the property did not work. The trailer was not 'habitable' as they said in the listing and the realtor has been asked to remove that statement. The water pipes were all frozen and would have had to be replaced. UGH! But the view was incredible!!! You are right about being close to the water and the sanity it provides.

We had a few people look at our house. Two were very interested but moved on. As our Realtor says, "If it was summer and the gardens were all blooming and leafed out, this property would be sold."

What I'm finding difficult now is still living in the same house with DH. It's civil, but if some of you have done this before, you may recall that it is rather toxic. Sometimes you really don't want to come to what was once your home. Unfortunately there's no $$ to move to another place until the house is sold.

Our DD is doing well. She has aced all her exams at school and shows no signs of this affecting her. We will be taking trip to my parents' home in February so I'm looking forward to that.

So bizarre at times. This part of life is surreal. Someday I will touch ground again...

    Bookmark   February 3, 2011 at 8:01AM
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Sending lots of hugs and prayers out to you. And YES, you will touch ground again! Love and Peace! Shirley

    Bookmark   February 3, 2011 at 9:51AM
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morz8(Washington Coast Z8b)

Oh, I'm sorry about the property with view, but you need the basics - like water :) We don't want you camping in
February weather. I didn't realize he was still in the house - that seems much more common any more and I suppose makes sense financially but it must be really hard on you. I won't comment on his timing, but only to say I'm thinking plenty and not necessarily good thoughts!

As for your house, nothing is showing well right now, not even here where things aren't completely dormant and buried under snow. Somehow mid winter selling makes any flaw in the house just stand out without the outside appeal to offset. It will come, and so will that place that is just for you to be comfortable and make your new start in.

That's wonderful DD is doing OK, must be helping you enormously to know that.

So what are you doing for you - are you being careful to eat and have you found some time to get some exercise, it's a great stress reliever if you can find a way to fit a few minutes into your day.

Thanks for letting us know and please stay in touch. I know we're all cheering for you. More ((((Hugs))))).

    Bookmark   February 3, 2011 at 11:11AM
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pitimpinai(z6 Chicago)

Hugs to you, tiffy. I truly feel for you.
Congrats to Robyn. Good girl.
More hugs to both of you.

    Bookmark   February 5, 2011 at 11:28AM
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ccoupkir(z5 Il)

Hi Tiffy .... I really feel your pain. I went through a terrible divorce 3 years ago. The pain was so intense I swore I would never ever garden again. As the saying goes ... time heals all wounds. Last summer I planted annuals. This winter I wsed again. I am in a rental house right now but already planning for future gardens. I am almost to the point where I no longer think of all the wonderful gardens I've lost and instead about all the new ones I'll have in the future. Life does go on. Keep in touch with your ws friends here. They are truly wonderful people. I promise to keep you in my thoughts and good luck to you and your daughter.

Cheryl ::]

    Bookmark   February 6, 2011 at 7:58AM
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Hi tiffy,
I was thinking about you last night,when you get to where you are going, I can send you some milkweed plants for the monarchs,you helped me so much last year,I was remembering the trip you took to your parents home,with monarchs in tow,how happy you made your dad.I wish you the very best,you just never know where life will take you, when one door closes,there is always another one that opens,many times to a new adventure,one you never even thought about.
(((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Bookmark   February 6, 2011 at 2:44PM
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Oh Nic..like others, I came to conversations on a whim..So sad to hear your news. I had a crazy thought re: the non-habitable trailer on the fantastic lot..could you maybe track down a Winnebago RV or camper-van that's for sale? Park it on site, plug it in, who cares if the motor won't take you anywhere, just live in it till the spring, when you can get to work on the existing trailer, or build a new prefab cabin, or whatever..
The lot sounds like it would be worth anything to get it and live on it by whatever means.
J'esp�re que votre vie va bien. Nous sommes tous des soins pour vous.

    Bookmark   February 7, 2011 at 12:33AM
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tiff - I just saw this conversation and I am heartbroken for you and I can speak for all of us who have had the pleasure of knowing you - you are one in a million.

The advice, the kindness, the patience and the humility will always be cherished here...

I am sure you are not leaving us for good - you will find another home to make beautiful. Please keep in touch...

Love, Carrie

    Bookmark   February 19, 2011 at 1:51PM
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terrene(5b MA)

I just happened over here too...and feeling sad for you Tiffy. I've noticed your absence and missed you on the forum, wondering how you were doing. Your situation must be very painful and stressful. Not the same exact circumstances, but I've been there and done that too. I hope that you work out a new housing situation, and that your house sells without too much trouble.

Do you think you will be able to take any of your favorite plants? Perhaps have time to have a plant sale?

    Bookmark   February 28, 2011 at 8:30PM
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After this terrible time turns the corner to a more serene path, send me an email - I will send you new Joe Pye weed. Funny, it was the first thing I wintersowed this year; the thing I missed most from my Marion gardens.

    Bookmark   March 1, 2011 at 7:24AM
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linda_jo(Raleigh, NC 7b)

I am so sorry for your sadness. I have been through divorce as well. It is not easy.
I think you should write! You express yourself so eloquently. I feel like I can see you window view, the boxes to go to Goodwill and the new property you are considering. I, for one, would be very interested in reading about your journey to the life and joy I am sure you will find. Please let us know if you blog.

Prayers, Linda Jo

    Bookmark   March 4, 2011 at 8:48AM
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