A Cat's Diary - (this is funny!)

carrie630(z7bNC)February 19, 2007

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other

inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I

Nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that

keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I

once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

Placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could

Hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due

To the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use

it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to

Be more than willing to return. He is obviously distressed! The bird has

got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.

I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged

Protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

Carrie

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bakemom_gw(z6 Central Ohio)

There's a dog's diary that goes along with this entry. These are oldies but goodies.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2007 at 3:16PM
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wendeyzee(z5Wa)

Carrie, that is soooooo funny, I laughed till I had tears in my eyes.......
Wendey

    Bookmark   February 23, 2007 at 2:51PM
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bakemom_gw(z6 Central Ohio)

Found the dog's diary:

Excerpts from a dog's diary:

Day 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!

1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

    Bookmark   February 26, 2007 at 12:46PM
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