garden mystery: Annpat, don't look!

emmers_m(9a/Sunset 7 N Cal)June 2, 2009

I am reluctant to post this due to my vast admiration for Annpat, but it is too much of a mystery.

Annpat, if you are reading this, I implore you to go no further.

Yesterday I filled in some gaps in my potato bed with leftover seed potatoes. Today (after an intense thunder shower) I went out to check on the garden and found:

One unearthed but unscathed potato

and two "items" of unknown provenance

(Annpat, please don't scroll down)


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. . From Garden Pictures From Garden Pictures

Yes, it's true - some miscreant had apparently deposited BREAD in my garden. One fairly intact hoagie/sub roll, and one disgustingly gnawed and disintegrating chunk of same. Of course, the thunder shower just prior ensured, as Annpat has prophetically warned, that these items were soggily saturated.

What I want to know is who or what perpetrated this sog in my garden! The SO professes innocence, and I have not recently added such items to the compost. (Annpat, if you are still reading and have not succumbed to a fainting spell, I of course would never! ever! do so.)

So whodunnit? And for the love of potatoes, why? I am offering a reward of one potato* to anyone who can identify the ne'er-do-well and the motive.


*potato subject to availibility

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I think it's that guy hiding behind the tree and snickering.

He has a bad attitude.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2009 at 10:15PM
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Gadzooks! What a crater "IT" left...perhaps it came from "out there" and crash landed into your garden. Perhaps from the planet Planarium? I think I'm going to be sick! Good Luck and don't touch it!

    Bookmark   June 2, 2009 at 11:45PM
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A desperate, lonely cry for ......Help.

Will it be answered?

    Bookmark   June 3, 2009 at 10:08AM
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Did you perhaps hear a large crow singing "Five dollar foot loooooongs!"?

    Bookmark   June 3, 2009 at 12:08PM
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PaulNS(NS zone 6a)

People on Canadian jets chuck their buns out the window all the time. It's pretty much all the airlines serve anymore, and they're hard as a rock. Unless you're on one of the old prop planes and then you get peanuts.

I see you're in northern NJ, so - very likely.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2009 at 12:29PM
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In my experience, SOs and children always profess innocence.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2009 at 4:53PM
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emmers_m(9a/Sunset 7 N Cal)

and now, the "items" have completely vanished: not a trace of sog remains.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2009 at 11:43AM
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Did you catch the miscreant? Was it the guy hiding behind the tree and giggling? Where's my potato?

    Bookmark   June 4, 2009 at 11:47AM
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You laugh, but if I were being held captive by giant, extra-terrestrial planeria-like creatures with huge bug eyes that, like, were always staring at me? And I wanted help? Well, I'd try the bread ploy.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2009 at 3:16PM
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joepyeweed(5b IL)

I think I know where that bread came from...

It mysteriously showed up on my kitchen table last week. I notice a huge bag with dozens of hoagie rolls, another bag of croissants and a loaf of bread laid on the table. I assumed my husband had brought them home for the pile... there is no way the two of use can eat that much bread.

But later that evening, hubs asked me, "where did all that bread come from?"

"I don't know, I thought you brought it?"

We were appalled that someone had broken into (or more like walked through the unlocked door) and left us a huge amount of bread.

We inspected the bread, it appeared to be dry with a bit of mold starting on it. So I dumped it into the pile

The next morning, it was apparent some critters had raided the pile through the night. They had taken off with several of the hoagie rolls and stripped the crust off the loaf bread. They scattered some shredded paper into the yard too, darn critters.

A few days later, my SIL admitting to dropping the bread off for our pile, it was a nice gesture.

So those hoagie rolls came from my SIL, through my pile, courtesy of some critter (raccoon or possum would be my guess).

    Bookmark   June 4, 2009 at 4:33PM
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Of course I looked.
And now I'm sick.

Emily, it was truly kind of you to try to warn me off, but what about all the other people here? Surely I'm not the only person here with refined sensibilities? Some of those people should have been warned, too. The reason I kept reading, was because I was certain that you, Emily, my new best friend, were just pretending to be talking about sogg...., no I'm gagging, I can't say it...bread that has been violated by moisture.

Not for one second was I prepared for a betrayal. I thought it was some sort of June Fools Joke and at the last, horrifying minute you were going to say, "Look! I found some eggshell dust in my garden. Does anyone know a good way to further pulverize it? (Ha. Ha.)" And I was going to laugh and say, I put my eggshells in sacks and duct tape them to my tires. Every time I get my tires rotated I remove the sacks and find the eggshells compost pile ready.

But no. Bread. Two pieces. All wet. And---not that it matters a whit---but touched by yellow rodent teeth.

No, annpat, stop. Don't relive it. teequilt and dave52 are dead on. You've got bigger problems than a lying spouse now, my friend. You've probably got yourself some alien planaria. And the native kind are bad enough.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2009 at 10:45PM
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emmers, did the potato disappear also?

Isn't NJ the site of the original "War of the Worlds" story that started panic and mayhem throughout New Jersey when HG Wells read in on the radio?

Is there a full moon? The potato did look like it had little bitty white skinny legs by which it possibly ran for help!

On second thought, it kind of looked like a little Hindenberg...hhhmmmm...another mysterious NJ flying object site, correct? Lindenhurst, site of the infamous blimp explosion.

RESOLUTION: Never fly to NJ with potatoes and/or soggy bread! snark!

    Bookmark   June 4, 2009 at 11:58PM
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I hope it's not a loaf of Friendship Bread. If it is it's just going to keep growing.

1 Like    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 8:24AM
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