You might be a compost wacko if...

dlangend1120September 16, 2011

*instead of counting sheep, you count scoopfuls of compost in your mind to put you to sleep.

*you bring back used tea bags from business meetings, wrapped in a napkin in your pocket.

*your wife nearly divorces you because your father sent back his old broccoli plants in her minivan, filling the vehicle with their pungent, fecal aroma.

*you carry a tarp in your trunk, just in case someone has some good compostables you can snag.

*you post this thread on the Soil, Compost & Mulch forum just to see what other crazy hijinks your fellow compost wackos are up to!

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rosiew

if you go to the elementary school for Grandparent's Day lunch, read this, and wonder what they did with all those dreadful brussel sprouts and overdone canned asparagus they served. Dumpster raid tomorrow?????????? Strong possibility.

Thanks for starting this up again, doowad.

    Bookmark   September 16, 2011 at 9:36PM
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vermontkingdom(4a)

If you have always wanted some seaweed in your compost but never had a chance to get some. Sure, you have everything else in it but compost envy is darn strong. So, on a rare, recent trip to Maine you get three bags of the stuff and stick them in your trunk before the DW gets up in the morning. The trip back to Vermont takes a bit longer than expected and she complains about "what's that terrible smell." Not wanting to lie, you suggest it COULD be the dog got into something on the shore before we left. And, then when you get home, you tell her you would be happy to take care of everything so she can quickly go into the house to check on the cat, any emails from the kids, etc. All this so your compost gets a few trace minerals from kelp. Therefore, you must be a Green Mountain Wacko or just plain nuts.

    Bookmark   September 17, 2011 at 7:36AM
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dlangend1120

Sure thing Rosie, your story reminds me of before I made like Jimmy Buffett and stopped going to church, I used to try to sneak as many compostable scraps out of the kitchen before DW could see.
And love the seaweed story, similar to my broccoli one, but much more covert, well-done!!!

Last night, I cleaned out my temporary garden so I could plant grass back (since my main beds are going to rest under hairy vetch for the winter) and I would pick up every little scrap of dried leaf and dirt and walk it back to the compost pile. Like a book my daughter loved when she was 2, "boom boom, ain't it great to be crazy!"

    Bookmark   September 17, 2011 at 8:42AM
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feijoas(New Zealand)

...you grow things more for their role in the heap than on the plate.
My broad beans, aka favas, are putting out loads of beans, but I'm thinking about all the lovely carbon they stalks will add to the compost more than my dinner.

    Bookmark   September 18, 2011 at 4:10AM
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dlangend1120

I can identify with that feijos, as instead of digging in my green manure this summer, I scythed it and threw it on the heap!

I thought of another one last night while watching tv: You might be a compost wacko if the only thing you can think of while watching a reality show where they clean out a restaurant kitchen pantry of rotten vegetables is what fantastic compost that stuff would make...

    Bookmark   September 19, 2011 at 7:07AM
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sugarmaple

If you go to the produce manager at the local grocery store and ask if you can have all the overripe fruits and vegetables from their garbage for your compost pile. I was told no because, believe it or not, they were afraid I would then try to return everything for a refund for not being fresh and get money undeservedly.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2011 at 7:57PM
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lizzie_nh

LOL VermontKingdom... I grew up on the coast of Maine and I can say for sure that seaweed in the car on a long ride is going to stink like crazy! That reminds me, though... I've just started "actively" composting (as opposed to just piling our grass and leaf clippings together, with no other additions) and I was in Portsmouth, NH the other day, and saw that they had seaweed on a small botanical garden down by the water. I thought that I wanted to get some seaweed for myself, but then forgot all about it. Right now I'm about 45 minutes from the coast so I might have better luck with containing the stink if I try to bring some home.

Sugarmaple - that's funny, but I imagine that policy is based in an experience they actually had. People will try anything for a buck.

    Bookmark   September 20, 2011 at 10:51AM
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Lloyd

You know, I read these confessions and almost universally the first thing that pops into my head is "You might be a compost whacko"???

Trust me on this, there is no doubt a lot of you are whackos. Wear that badge proudly.

Lloyd

    Bookmark   September 20, 2011 at 11:34AM
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joebob

Rock on Lloyd------I am costantly suprised by the people who find out I am a composter and think how "cool" that is ......and these are people who are 50+ !!!!

....and when they come over for a ballgame on the deck and see my bins they go bonkers .....( could be the beer! )

anywho......I will wear the badge proudly.....it makes for a better me ......JB

    Bookmark   September 20, 2011 at 1:18PM
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Scarlet09(9)

If your facebook status proudly proclaims what you have added to your pile today and you even post a picture of the crap inside the can!

    Bookmark   September 20, 2011 at 3:35PM
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Worms4Tracy

I read the entire original thread years ago, and then again a few days ago, and I laughed so hard and loved it so much that I posted this in the vermicomposting forum a few days ago, but I thought it might be at home here:

You spend three years in school, graduate, fly out of state to attend a certification hearing in which you are approved by unanimous vote of over 100 people and you call your mother (who is waiting by the phone on pins and needles) to tell her the good news and the first words out of your mouth are "How are my worms?! Have you been feeding them like I showed you?!"

You cannot enter a restaurant or cafe without wondering if you could get them to hand over all their fruit and vegetable scraps.

You actually feel gleeful when you accidentally spill an entire one-pound bag of frozen peas all over the kitchen floor, because you know your worms will love them.

You wonder out loud whether you could feed the new parakeet worms from your worm bin, and feed the worms the poop and dropped bird food and liners from the bottom of the bird cage, and how you wish you could because that would be a perfect symbiotic relationship...and your entire family looks at you like you just sprouted a second head.

    Bookmark   September 20, 2011 at 7:22PM
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dlangend1120

Kudos for the symbiotic relationship!

    Bookmark   September 20, 2011 at 9:55PM
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Demeter(z6 NJ)

... you go into a lunch place in Ithaca and are ridiculously happy to see the trash bins labeled "recycle", "landfill" and "compost".

    Bookmark   September 23, 2011 at 6:00PM
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subk3

...you just bought your husband an antique book for Christmas called, "The Young Farmers Guide: A Handy Book of the Composition of Soils and the Influence of Manures in Ameliorating Them."

There is something about having a prissy little 150 year old book on the coffee table that's all about composting manure that I find funny.

    Bookmark   September 24, 2011 at 2:48PM
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Worms4Tracy

Your worm population is growing so rapidly that your aunt suggests you start giving them away on Craig's list. You poo poo the idea as totally unnecessary, but know that everyone would think you are crazy for the real reason: the logistics of checking everyone's worm setup to make sure they'll survive and thrive before you give them the free worms would be a nightmare. Also, Craig's listers prolly wouldn't thrill to you grilling them on the proper care and maintenance of a worm bin in order to "qualify" for a bag of free worms.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2011 at 3:13AM
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david52 Zone 6

At the small corner convenience store with the serve-yourself coffee, you think of ways, bordering on the criminal, of getting rid of the person who currently has the monopoly on UCG so you can step in. Justifying it with vague theories on evolution.

    Bookmark   September 26, 2011 at 10:35AM
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Worms4Tracy

Halloween is approaching and you are getting more excited about collecting squishy Jack-O-Lanterns from around the neighborhood and feeding them to your worms than you are about costumes, parties, or limitless supplies of candy.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2011 at 12:12AM
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gonebananas_gw

I am still fretting over passing, months ago, a brewpub that had THREE BIG trashcans at the curb chock full with with "spent" barley malt grains!

How could they?!! All that protein nitrogen!

    Bookmark   October 17, 2011 at 4:16PM
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gardenz4evr(z7 MD)

you define a newly energized compost pile (that is...all the critters that populate a large active pile, including worms) in the spring-time as "a family reunion", daily skipping out to your compost pile/bin with a bucket of scraps for your family/friends.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2011 at 10:05AM
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david52 Zone 6

When hearing the current hip vernacular that so-and-so is "Hot" you immediately think of your compost pile.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2011 at 1:45PM
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bookjunky4life(5 Central IL)

While on an errand to buy office supplies for your work, you see a half eaten apple in the parking lot are are oh-so tempted to snatch it, even though its clearly been there quite a while.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2011 at 5:36PM
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Worms4Tracy

The friendly customer service guy at the local hardware store refers to you as "The Worm Lady." It happened today. I'm still in shock.

Also, you start to get real secretive about your cardboard shredding habits, because you know your mom would flip if she ever knew how much corrugated cardboard you were running through her little home paper shredder. Honestly, do you think that an entire trunk-load twice weekly would void the warranty?

    Bookmark   October 20, 2011 at 2:46AM
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heirloomjunkie(5a)

While scattering compost on the beds for fall, you get all nostalgic when you notice the half decomposed sock you put in the bin last year.

Also, when you call your fiance and tell him that reading posts about compost at work turned your horible day around, only to be met by awkward silence. I can't wait to see his reaction when he will never again be able to just "throw something away".

Kim

    Bookmark   October 20, 2011 at 11:46AM
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dlangend1120

That's awesome heirloomjunkie about the fiance. And I don't know about shredding the cardboard, but I would think Mom would freak out...

    Bookmark   October 20, 2011 at 3:28PM
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Sun-n-Clay(7)

... you see an old over-ripe banana on a table in the lunch room, pick it up, store it in a bag in your room and bring it home to decompose in peace in the compost pile.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2011 at 11:46PM
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bookjunky4life(5 Central IL)

. . . dug through the trashbags my MIL dumped in our shared dumpster this morning and found three uneaten apples (for the compost pile), a small flower pot, and two milk jugs for wintersowing. This isn't the first time I've stolen her garbage either. My best find was vinyl mini blinds that I cut up for flower/veggie ID tags and lectured her NEVER to throw out mini blinds again.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2011 at 12:55PM
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Lloyd

"lectured her"

I'm guessing you are not male.

;-)

Lloyd

P.S. If you are, you're a braver man than I.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2011 at 1:08PM
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Worms4Tracy

You take your children to a birthday for a 7 yo. The children bring home goody bags filled with candy and toys. You bring home three grocery sacks of half-rotten apples that you collected from under their tree. The children decorate small pumpkins to bring home. You count on feeding them to your worms within two weeks.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2011 at 12:02AM
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groomie2(6)

You write a note and put it in your neighbors mailbox asking them what they are going to do with the huge pumpkins on their porch. If they are going to throw them away, could they please call you and let you know if you can have them. Unfortunately you give them your husbands cell phone number instead of your own. To give him credit, he calls you to tell you you can come get them pumpkins whenever you want, and doesn't ask any questions!

    Bookmark   October 27, 2011 at 10:33PM
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Worms4Tracy

You go to see the tree-lighting ceremony at Union Square in San Francisco where Johnny Weir is performing at the Ice Rink and the Grinch who Stole Christmas was there for pictures and all the Occupy SFO and Oakland protestors are there along with a world-renowned choir. You can't focus on the beautiful tree or any of the excitement because the police cavalry are there. You're too busy wondering where you can put the beautiful porcelain ornament you just bought at Macy's so that you can use the plastic bag to pick up the manure dropped by the horses.

I asked my mother to please wait a minute so I could first go ask the officers if they had de-wormed their horses recently and she literally grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away so I wouldn't embarrass her. I was like, "Help, help, I'm being oppressed!"

Composting wackos, unite!

    Bookmark   November 27, 2011 at 4:16PM
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tropical_thought(San Francisco)

You take a trip to Half Moon Bay after Halloween to look for discarded pumpkins. You pack the half rotted pumpkins in plastic bags to take home to your pile. You check your pile daily and fret if it's not hot enough. Starbucks thinks you are a pest. You collect fallen fruits from trees for your pile. You microwave the fruit to make it break down faster.

    Bookmark   November 27, 2011 at 4:32PM
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Sun-n-Clay(7)

Your mom (who lives close to you) returns from a party (you did not attend) with a big bag full of leftover food for your compost pile.

    Bookmark   November 27, 2011 at 8:43PM
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groomie2(6)

you are driving your mom ( who saves her UCG for you and will bring you pumpkins that her neighbors have put out with the trash) to the airport, and you see some smashed pumpkins down the street from her house and point them out... she tells you to keep driving, if you want them that badly you can go back and get them after you drop her off - so that's exactly what you do!

    Bookmark   November 27, 2011 at 10:59PM
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Worms4Tracy

@tropicalthought: I don't microwave my fruit to make it break down faster, but I do freeze it. It also kills melon seeds so that they don't sprout in the bins.

Also, Groomie2 and Sun-n-Clay: Your moms and my mom gotta get together - I'm sure they would have a lot to talk about. :-D They could form a support group:

Mothers Understanding Lunatic Composting Heirs (MULCH)

    Bookmark   November 28, 2011 at 12:52AM
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jolj(7b/8a)

I love the M.U.L.C.H.
My wife will start a chapter here.
I have my son composting, it keep his mind off most of the unhealthy thing that teenager seem to have shoved in their faces these days.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2011 at 1:04PM
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Lloyd

"I have my son composting"

How much C did you use?

Just curious.

;-)

Lloyd

    Bookmark   November 28, 2011 at 1:27PM
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Worms4Tracy

I'm ready to take Step 1 and admit my 8 yo daughter has a problem:

1) She totally hogs the shredder and won't let me help shred the cardboard anymore.

2) She demanded her own worm bin with her OWN worms.

3) She totally hogs the shovel when we go to collect horse manure and won't let me help at all.

4) When shoveling horse manure, she keeps saying, "I just want to fill ONE MORE bucket, Mom!" but really, she can't stop until all the buckets are gone.

4) She told me that when she grows up, she wants to be a "horse poop shoveler."

I think we're going to need three separate support groups: one for my mom:

Mothers Understanding Lunatic Composting Heirs (MULCH)

One for me:

Letting Our Adolescents Monopolize Yardwaste (LOAMY)

One for my kid:

Hogging Unfairly Mother's "Unhealthy" Sideline (HUMUS)

    Bookmark   November 28, 2011 at 2:22PM
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botann(z8 SEof Seattle)

I paid a guy's bar bill that was $300 for 100 hundred truckloads of barn stall cleanings from an equestrian center where he worked. His truck hauled 6 cu. yds.
That got things off to a good start!
Mike

    Bookmark   December 4, 2011 at 2:38PM
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jolj(7b/8a)

"I have my son composting"
How much C did you use?
Not enough, but every little bit helps.
He works at the church, two days a week, that helps some too.
If we lived near you, I would have him in your fields, daily.
Thanks for asking Lloyd.

    Bookmark   December 4, 2011 at 10:12PM
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greenleaf_organic(8, TX)

You know, I have been hanging out for so long in the organic forum. I really find you guys to be more "down to earth" over here! :)

And yes, I used to bring home boxes of spoiled produce from the back of the grocey store where I worked at the time. Now I just salivate this time of year so I can bring home bags of my neighbors leaves.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2011 at 12:24AM
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dlangend1120

You have just finished processing 75 bags of OPL for your small home garden, everything is mulched and the compost piles are full to the brim. You drive past the deadheads' house on your way to take your daughter to school and see that they have, as usual, put out 10-12 nicely plump bags of leaves, along with a couple bonus ones across the street. Knowing that your daughter will flip out if you put even one leaf in her car, you hurry home to switch cars and drive around the block a couple times to fill the car with said bags, hoping that the DW doesn't let the dog out and see you throwing yet more leaf bags into your composting area. I love fall!

    Bookmark   December 5, 2011 at 9:37AM
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strawchicago 5a IL(zone 5a)

I love this post, I was laughing about the pumpkins. You might be a compost wacko if you dig around behind Starbucks's giant dumpster for coffee grounds. Or putting used lemon rinds in kitchen water to acidify one's alkaline soil - I will be testing this on my white pine trees next summer to see if it takes away the yellowing in alkaline clay soil.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2011 at 11:49AM
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momstar(5)

You might be one if you actually shed tears because you didn't get the leaves off the lawn and into the pile before the weekend's big wind storm blew them all away.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2011 at 6:59PM
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drmbear

You might be..... if you get excited when the circus comes to town, not because of the clowns and acrobats, but because of what the elephants leave behind!!

    Bookmark   December 6, 2011 at 4:13PM
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Jon_dear(4/5)

if you loose sleep while your soil test is being done wondering what your % organic matter will come back as... lol mine is 11.4 %

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 11:52AM
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curt_grow

If on a cold december day you are stairing out your window at the neighbors trees wondering about the micro nutrents that are going to be in your compost from the leaves you piled there from those trees.

Curt

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 12:47PM
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bookjunky4life(5 Central IL)

On a slow day, you build a horizontal barrel composter out of cardboard, staples, a paper clip, and an index card. You even draw the little door on the barrel and make sure it actually spins. You do this so you have a model to reference when building your actual composter. Then you consider building a tiny scale model but out of real wood and some kind of plastic container as the barrel.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2011 at 4:50PM
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vermontkingdom(4a)

If the first thing you do when it is light enough outside on these cold Vermont winter day mornings is to check the compost bin for its temperature. And, you genuinely rejoice when you find the temperature in there is holding its own.

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 7:38AM
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Nevermore44 - 6a

if you post to this thread.... :p

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 11:36AM
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Nevermore44 - 6a

if you get a scolding look from you wife for asking the grocery produce guy what they do with all the scraps and stuff that goes bad....

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 11:42AM
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dlangend1120

Ha, I'm proud to have started this thread, great to hear all these stories...

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 5:20PM
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mike_jw(London. UK)

If you scrounge around for old wickerwork baskets, spend time and effort pulling them apart with pliers, then puting them through the shredder.

If you carry two old Bamboo screens home on the bus, and spend hours with a wire cutter, freeing the Bamboo from the miles of copper wire, in order to shred them. Someone said (jokingly I hope) that I was "seriously deranged."
Well - I try to like up to my claim that 'I can compost anything'.

    Bookmark   July 16, 2012 at 10:27AM
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mike_jw(London. UK)

Sorry - typo error - was supposed to read;
"I try to live up to my claim......"

    Bookmark   July 16, 2012 at 11:04AM
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Rich_PNW(8b)

When your lawn mower blade has an S curve in it from using it to chip branches because your pile needs some C.

You Chase a snake across the lawn with said mower cuz he'd make a nice addition to the pile.

    Bookmark   August 9, 2012 at 11:25PM
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jolj(7b/8a)

Everyone you know are cleaning out the summer garden & maping out the fall garden.
You are mapping out the best streets for fall collection OPL & shortest way from them to your new fall compost pile.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2012 at 10:04AM
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tropical_thought(San Francisco)

What a great feeling to know you can "compost anything", but not peach pits. They never compost.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2012 at 11:38AM
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Rich_PNW(8b)

You need pigs to do the peach pits. I remember my dad canning a ton of peaches when I was younger and we feed them the skins & pits. The crunched them up like corn nuts.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2012 at 1:09PM
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tropical_thought(San Francisco)

Right about now you are collecting fallen apples from trees for your compost.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2012 at 7:35PM
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mirendajean(Donegal, Ireland)

There is a small shopping centre which hosts a pet shop (for lovely rabbit bedding), a coffee shop (with unguarded UCG bins out the back), and a home improvement store (who give away out of season veggie plants).

I leave that shopping centre 3-4 times a week visably salivating as my mind reels at the potential of my "fantastic haul"...

...then my phone rings, a friend noticed some horse droppings on the road only a few miles away...

I have a problem.

M

    Bookmark   November 8, 2012 at 1:56AM
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dlangend1120

wow, that makes me salivate, rabbit bedding & coffee grounds... awesome

    Bookmark   November 8, 2012 at 5:55AM
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compogardenermn(4- Twin Cities, MN)

You butcher a deer and take the carcass home to push your composting skills and experiments to a new level, hoping you've put enough carbon around it to not cause your little 1/4 acre suburban lot to make the whole block smell like a rendering plant...

    Bookmark   November 8, 2012 at 10:14AM
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luckygal(3b)

~every time you turn the pile you watch for the avocado pits and skins that take a very long time to break down. I think they do eventually break down as I rarely see them by the time I spread the compost on my garden.

~you remember the date of the last day you buried kitchen scraps in your garden in the fall (trench composting) and the location so you can check in the spring to see how decomposed it is. Just part of composting stats, ya know! ;D

    Bookmark   November 8, 2012 at 11:07AM
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compogardenermn(4- Twin Cities, MN)

Update on the deer carcass. I took a temperature reading yesterday and he was cooking at 142 degrees. I'll admit my pallet system may be on the small side for a carcass that size as you can faintly smell it when you get about 5 feet from the pile... My estimate is that in a week or two at those temps, the smell should become less of an issue as my microherd eats it up.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 9:52AM
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LoboGothic(6b SW Ontario CANADA)

Loved reading these posts for the third time. Priceless. My favourite is the one about the guy with the $300 bar bill making 16 or 17 trips with his truck to deliver the manure. Good start indeed!

Building my annual pile now, loving the layering of OPL, UCG, sheep manure and the uncomposted top of last year's pile, garden leavings, etc. I can see it from the house - it lights up the winter. Yes, I might be one too.

Why LoboGothic? Here we are, sheep manure, last year's compost pile in background.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2012 at 8:24PM
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rickd59

Classic pose, a couple in front of their rotting pile of garbage and manure :-)

Might make a nice holiday card.

Nice spread, by the way.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2012 at 10:17PM
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GawdinFever(z5b/St. Louis, MO)

LOVE it!

    Bookmark   November 22, 2012 at 12:07AM
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jolj(7b/8a)

Very Nice LoBo!
My son works in a kitchen & bought me a grocery bag full of banana peeling without me asking.
He also cut grass on the weekends & Bring me the clippings & leaves. Got 2 bags today, got to give that boy gas money if he keep adding to the compost pile like that.

    Bookmark   November 23, 2012 at 5:36PM
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LoboGothic(6b SW Ontario CANADA)

Yes, the tarp goes into our van in the fall. This morning I went into town to do a couple of errands and stopped twice to pick up bags of leaves beside the street. Bonus - two of the bags were sawdust and the guy who lives in the house came over and helped me.

On the way home I decided I should get a bumper sticker, "This vehicle stops for bags of leaves!" Sometimes actually, it stops on a dime!

Frances

    Bookmark   November 23, 2012 at 6:57PM
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jolj(7b/8a)

Sawdust & leaves sure work well with the manure & UCG.
I have composted coffee grounds & coffee whole beans by the truck load with no problem.
But some people say you must mix them well with other organic matter.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2012 at 5:20PM
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dlangend1120

My old man asked me to help him clean off his garden. He is renting an established vegetable garden whose owner has gotten too old to care for it (she is about 15 years his senior). I am always glad to do this so I can stuff my old car full of all the scraps, plus tons of good oak leaves and this year even some manure that the old lady's son had dumped on the garden for him. I left him a nice little mini-lasa�a with a layer of leaves and manure on top of his good topsoil. He tills, but I told him to leave that on till spring so it can break down and before tilling in. Anyway, I told my daughter she had better hope her mom came to the party we went to today so she (daughter) didn't have to ride home him in my car full of firewood, leaves, compost, garden scraps and literally poop.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2012 at 6:38PM
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david52 Zone 6

I imagine out among the forum contributors and readers, there are some fans of The Onion, a satirical website.

I imagine out among the forum contributors and readers, there are some fans of Ted Talks, a series of mini-lectures on diverse subjects.

And so when we have an Onion sendup of a Ted Talk that concerns compost, I just had to pass this along....

Here is a link that might be useful: utube link

    Bookmark   December 2, 2012 at 12:40PM
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Lloyd

Well there is three minutes and thirty two seconds of my life I won't get back.

;-)

Lloyd

    Bookmark   December 2, 2012 at 2:15PM
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rickd59

Good one!

You might be a compost whacko if you drive a car that runs on compost.

    Bookmark   December 2, 2012 at 5:44PM
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Allen456(8)

We're stuck in a bit of dry spell here, only an inch and a half of rain since before Halloween. So my neighbors give me quite the strange look when they see me with the hose watering my compost pile.

    Bookmark   December 3, 2012 at 6:34AM
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TheMasterGardener1(5B)

"You might be a compost whacko if you drive a car that runs on compost."

Lol too bad that is in fact not the case. Many driving far just to get some compost or material to compost only to do more harm to the enviroment then someone that does not even compost and just uses fertilizer!

So yes, you may be a 'compost wacko' if you waste more time and money making the compost then it is even worth. :)

Lol ;)

This post was edited by TheMasterGardener1 on Mon, Dec 3, 12 at 11:43

    Bookmark   December 3, 2012 at 11:41AM
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rickd59

@TheMasterGardener1, I was thinking the same thing the other day when I was unloading leaves from my truck as my fertilizer-using neighbors were inside watching football on TV.

    Bookmark   December 3, 2012 at 7:31PM
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Lloyd

Sad story but did anyone else have thoughts??

Lloyd

Here is a link that might be useful: Whale carcass on Malibu shore

    Bookmark   December 6, 2012 at 2:34PM
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david52 Zone 6

Well, lets see. Decomposing whale is a green, 80 tons of it, so we'd need at least 80 tons of browns - probably want half again, what with trying to insure that the odors aren't so bad as to trouble Malibu denizens. So I figure the easiest thing would be shredded newspaper. Cover whale with that, then with sand to make sure the newspaper wouldn't blow away.

Where was it somebody tried blowing up dead rotting beached whales with dynamite? Brain fog here.....

    Bookmark   December 6, 2012 at 3:28PM
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sugarmaple

My daughter, who is a senior in high school, takes a couple empty plastic coffee containers to school and gives them to two of her teachers who make coffee. They put the coffee grounds and filters in and she picks it up when it's full for me to put in my compost pile. She's done this since ninth grade. When she starts school each fall, I give her veggies from my garden to give to the teachers who provided the coffee grounds. It's great that the teachers do this and of my daughter for doing it. I'm going to miss this when she starts college next year.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2012 at 11:25AM
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LoboGothic(6b SW Ontario CANADA)

sugarmaple, I'm sure you and your daughter can figure something out for college! Don't give up!

    Bookmark   December 8, 2012 at 11:30AM
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LoboGothic(6b SW Ontario CANADA)

If you sweep up all the hair after your haircut at the hairdresser's and ask for a bag to take it home for your compost.

If you carry 5-gallon buckets of UCG into the house so they will thaw out after picking them up at Coffee Culture because they've started leaving them outside for you. Then when they've thawed enough to dump out, you carry them 100 yards to the pile.

    Bookmark   November 27, 2013 at 3:59PM
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sylviatexas1

I love compost wacko threads!

about that shredded cardboard:
it does dull shredder blades, but you can get around that.

Just keep a big tub of water somewhere near your compost pile & lay the cardboard in the water until it's well-saturated.

It'll come apart in your hands.

& then you just put it in a bucket & drop it onto the compost pile.

    Bookmark   December 2, 2013 at 4:53PM
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nancyjane_gardener(Zone 8ish North of San Francisco in the "real" wine country)

Sugarmaple-better yet, those teachers start a compost bin and garden at the school! Let those kids get an Idea of where those veges come from!
I just retired after 38 years in Spec Ed and have already started one school garden.From compost to garden to table! Nancy

    Bookmark   December 2, 2013 at 10:32PM
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greenthumbzdude

you go to a party and ask for the empty pizza boxes because you want to shred them and add them to your compost pile

your a college student who finds it necessary to save all food scraps in a kitty litter container so when you go home you can compost them.

    Bookmark   December 9, 2013 at 7:47PM
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sylviatexas1

...if you read every line of a thread in which people rhaposidize about their compost...in haiku.

Here is a link that might be useful: compost haiku

    Bookmark   December 10, 2013 at 4:00PM
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nancyjane_gardener(Zone 8ish North of San Francisco in the "real" wine country)

NONOnononono- NOT the Haiku! LOL

    Bookmark   December 10, 2013 at 8:55PM
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sylviatexas1

no haiku???

well, ok.

How about...*Limericks*!

Here is a link that might be useful: Compost Limericks

    Bookmark   December 11, 2013 at 7:02PM
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gonebananas_gw

I'm more a mulch wacko, what with my droughty sterile sand soil. Luckily the large ancient park-like semi-wooded cemetery near here bags many of its leaves in big heavy plastic bags and puts them by the road for the collectors. The collectors never get them if I spot them first and I go by for other reasons daily. I probably got well over 50 large bags last years, and in a hour or so will be over 50 this year. (I try to avoid mulling the nutrient-migration implications of wide-ranging tree roots and decayed wood coffins. Just kidding.)

    Bookmark   December 11, 2013 at 8:04PM
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sylviatexas1

'try to avoid mulling the nutrient-migration implications of wide-ranging tree roots and decayed wood coffins.'

which reminds me:

You might be a compost wacko if you leave instructions to have your mortal remains composted!

    Bookmark   December 13, 2013 at 5:40PM
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LoboGothic(6b SW Ontario CANADA)

Time to move this one up! LOVE this thread!

You might be a compost whacko if you spend a cold, rainy evening moving half of last year's manure pile to make room for another fresh load. When they're ready to deliver, you hop to it!

    Bookmark   May 1, 2014 at 1:09PM
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idaho_gardener

You might be a compost whacko if you spend $90 on a single book to learn more about the technical aspects of composting.

Maybe Lloyd will understand.

Here is a link that might be useful: Book about composting

    Bookmark   May 5, 2014 at 7:52PM
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wertach zone 7-B SC

I just want to see the rest of the cute gal on the right of the compost page!

The one that is labeled "Are You a Compost Whacko?" ;)

    Bookmark   May 9, 2014 at 12:15PM
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weedyacres

You might be a compost wacko if you eagerly accept the offer of the contents of someone else's half-done compost bin.

Saturday a friend, who's moving in a month, offered me the contents of her compost bin. So we drove over, loaded it all on to the back of a trailer, and transplanted it into next year's asparagus bed.

We did get the soil from 2 4x4 raised beds too. Bonus!

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 10:50AM
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