Ok, here's what I would do.
Do all the sanding before you paint/stain
Don't forget if you water down paint you get a color stain that works well.
You will probably have to seal with poly of some sort after paint/stain
They make an all-in-one stain/sealer if you want fewer steps.
If it was mine, I would take a hammer, chain, and a few other things to "age" it a bit before the above steps.

If your artsy at all you can paint flowers etc. on the cross members. Or even your last name done up nicely. Or the names of the family members.. loads of things you can do.
I think a lovely color wash is just the ticket and will age gracefully.

Good Luck!

Stains are undergoing a lot of changes. At 1 time Behr No. 4 was perfect for me. I put on the Redwood naturaltone on redwood fence posts, went on OK then went to next 1 post & looked back & other 1 looked like kid had scribbled on it all over, changed to different type brush twice including a foam brush. Then I took it back to the store. Got some McKloskey's stain at WalMart, it is a pretty reddish color, goes on well & looks nice & it's been a month since I did bench & potting table. But I don't think recoating it is going to be so easy. It has a bit of a rubber-like feel to it. May just goo up my electric sander.It also is not really a stain as it coats the items completely so all you see is the "stain" so just like a paint but supposed to be so could walk on it on deck. So I saw they had another redwood stain much cheaper at Wal Mart so I tried it. DB(dear bro.) was visiting & since 3 extensions on my fence were rotting he replaced with redwood. This stain is very thin goes on easy & is too red for my taste, I wanted a nice rustic brownish-red color. I had spent a lot of time over on the deck & porch forum before I bought any of this & stuff they liked the best was like $80 a gallon & nobody in Los Angles area has it!! Because of changing regulations they are not using oil based paint to speak of tho the Behr was oil based. They are removing pov or something like that & lead, so we no longer have good paints. I've painting around my home in & out for 40 yrs so you sand & I round the corners a bit so kids & old folks don't hit a sharp corner, not a lot but just enough so it has a little worn down look. Pine is pretty soft so don't think you need to bang it up, it will get that way with use. If I were going to do a pine table I think I would give it a coat of Kilz oil base & pick out a bright color of water based paint for top coat & give it 2 coats of that at least. The oil base will help keep moisture out of boards & I would do this before I put it together covering all sides & ends of boards. Put on 1 coat of finish then assemble & do 1 or 2 more coats giving it 1 drying day between each step. My old redwood set that I did that way & stained for yrs was given to DD & she painted it white & used it in kitchen as newlywed. She later gave it to other relatives & it is still being used.It was bought in 1966.So properly done they can last a very long time. But I realize boards aren't even as thick as they used to be so even more important to take the time to make it last. I can't get any pics on without my DD coming to give me another lesson- sorry! Jan