LOL!!!! You just made my day Mike!!!! :)

LOL, this is hilarious! My son and his young wife went into a 5 star one evening at an off time and they were the only ones there. Of course they had all the silver, glasses, etc. and neither of them knew what to do with them. All they knew is that there was a salad fork and a dinner fork. Now my son is actually my DH's son and he raised him so that accounts for him not knowing. (don't blame me, LOL) Anyway, they said they felt like they were in a fish bowl because the waiter was watching them so he'd know if they needed anything.

Thanksgiving day at dinner Jacey was setting the table and she asked me which sides the silver went on. I was telling her and she got bored very quickly since she's no quite 12 yet. She finally said, "Granny, I haven't had "Home Ex" yet! Of course, I didn't correct her by saying it isn't "EX".

Thank you Mikey for the delightful bit of fun we all need.

Nancy

I was a waiter for a couple of years and, believe me, as long as you don't make a huge mess and leave at least a 15% tip, your waiter couldn't care less about your 5 or -1 star manners! Next time, just ignore the rest of the world and enjoy your company and meal!

Omar

"Home Ex"... LOL, love it.

Omar: I always leave a 20% tip on the total amount, including tax. I'm not smart enough to figure out a 15% tip..... I've noticed that I consistently tip more than does the fetching Mrs. Mikey. And NO, it's not because the waitresses are cute or have lots of cleavage..... I tip the guys @ 20% as well. Have you ever noticed a difference in tipping between men and women?

Mike,
Are you trying to tell me DRIVE THROUGH at MCcdonalds is not 5 star, Oh have I been wasting my life, LOL, I would not even have a clue what to do with all the crap they give you at a 5 star, give me a plate & a fork & I will show you what to do with it all.

Mikey...Good one!

I agree with OCGF, just don't make or leave a big mess, and 'no one' will really care or think a thing. I do believe you are to fold the linen napkin (seems silly to me) and place it on the table (not sure which side though).

DBF just guesstimates a tip...sometimes hitting 15 or a bit over and sometimes being quite a bit under. When that happens I just discreetly make up the difference, and if he has ever seen me, he has never mentioned it.

We also take turns buying and tipping. It meakes him feel 'special' when I 'treat' him.

Sue

Quote: "We also take turns buying and tipping. It meakes him feel 'special' when I 'treat' him."

When I do that she calls me a "cheap date."

Mickey, I haven't noticed a difference in tipping between men and women ;o). Tips were the really salary for me (basic wage was pitiful), so I tried my best to pamper my customers without brown noseing them. It worked most of times. As a customer, good service is what I reward. If there is a nice "view" on top of that, then an extra 5% is discretely added ;o).

Omar

Start outside & work in. Don't point sharp objects or blades at other people, so turn the blade in. Use the forks in order, and note that they are usually appropriate for the size of the food they go with: small for salad, big for steak, tiny for little shrimp. That bowl full of really thin broth is actually water, so don't drink it.. wash your pinkies in it. That thing that looks like a torture device is for cracking lobster claws.

(If in doubt, accidently drop the troublesome utensil on the floor, then you can legitimately use another one that you understand!)

You are not alone. At a really, really good restaurant, the staff should be attentive and drop little hints when they notice someone in distress. Or just coach you, if you ask. If they don't watch their customers, they should not be working in a 5-star restaurant!

I haven't seen a really complete table setting in many years, since a memorable 10 course meal in Hawaii. However, when growing up, our Mom sure made certain that we knew how to properly set the table for formal holiday dinners.

And.. perhaps teaching us kids about "restaurant manners" was also her not-so-subtle hint to Dad that she was past due for a drive into the city and a dress-up night-out at the Court of Two Sisters, or Pat O'Briens, in the French Quarter!

Rick

Don't worry about the napkin.
Just don't use it to blow your nose.

Should I continue to use my sleeves? ;)

I found this topic very amusing. Here is a link that will give you the breakdown:
http://www.wondersky.com/deepscookbook/etiquette_table_setting.htm

Mikey,
You have not met me yet, but I see you all over GW, You are a true one:)God bless you...:)Anita
P.S Tell Mrs. Mikey I said HI!!!!!!