Okay, and I do know how to spell frustration, I swear!!!

Good Lord, I need spell check here! Ugh, that should be access, and "Sorry this IS about stuff..."

Geez, it's either I type to fast for my brain to keep up, or the Bud Lite I just tossed back kickin' in!

Hey there! I was just lurking in this forum and had to let you know that I totally empathise with you. Both about the spelling and the house hunting!
Up until we found the house we live in, we lived at my inlaws. Oh...what...fun.... What I thought could be 6 months and what dh said would only be 2 years turned into FOUR SOLID YEARS. We looked along time before we found the right place. In realtity, I had to be humble and realize I probably don't know best and I should let God do the deal and I just do the leg work.
My point is, if there truly is the right spot for you, you will find it at just the right time. It will be perfect for you. In keeping with the spirit of this particular forum, don't count chickens before they're hatched. Sometimes you have to go thru alot of rotten eggs!
Best of luck to you and post a pic when you find the right place!

Oh,... I feel your pain. I've been searching for a house for 4 months.
Well, we decided a few weeks ago to build instead. So, my father said he'd gift us 3 acres of land if we paid the surveyor, etc. Awesome. Well, then my grandfather turns around and tells us we can have 19 acres right next to it! Even better.
So I get the surveyor lined up, I've been on the phone with the attorney for hours (cha ching), and just today before our planning board meeting to get everything set, my loving grandfather says he'll only give us 5 acres at the most. Well, it still sounds good, but if you knew all the story you'd be steaming just as I am. And to top it all off, the planning board meeting JUST got cancelled. Mind you, we can't start the house (or even get the permit), until we have the land in our posession. So, it looks like I'll be paying $400 a month again this winter for heat in this house! Unreal. I've been spitting fire for the past few days. Now it's even coming out my ears. The more I deal with the family, the more I want to just go out and purchase land. I think it will be cheaper (and faster) in the end. Roar. And I've taken 2 days off this week to get all this BS dealt with. Driving me NUTS.
So, I do feel your pain.

Ahh Erin, lets hear the WHOLE story! Ya' got me wondering what's up with grandpa. You have to go to a planning board before building anything on YOUR property? What's this world comming to?

The land might be free money wise but anything you get from your parents or grandparents you'll still be "paying" for even if it's not with money!

I think we are getting ready to start building soon. I signed some paperwork this last week and my wife's been talking to the builder. It's all got me sick to my stomach! Gonna be one big headache lasting for anywhere from 6 months to a year.

Jamie

Headache puts it lightly.
My grandparents despise one another. I mean red hatred. Why they've been married for over 55 years is beyond me. My motto is "You're dead a damn long time"... so I would have left the relationship years ago.
This land deal has really got them at each other's throats. It's quite sad. Oh if you only knew!
And yes, I have to go to a planning board meeting to figure out if the 19 acres has to be subdivided so I can have 5 acres and put a house up. It's all politics. It's quite ridiculous if you ask me.
So, I'm still sitting here b/c I STILL don't know if I need a survey of just the 5 acres, or of the entire field with the 5 acres cut out. What a pain in the $$$. No wonder why more people don't build houses! It's awful!

"Bleh" on the whole process I say! We found another place we liked, but there is no way in H**l since we qualify for a loan about $130,000 less than the asking price! That one was such a pipedream anyway.

We could do a lot more if we asked for help from my hubby's parents, but no way am I going that route! Hubby's two other brothers both got help buying or building their houses, and their parents drop by all the time, show up to store stuff in the attic, buy furniture and pick paint colors, list goes on and on. They seem to think that since they helped buy the houses they can do whatever they want. I would rather live in a freakin' hovel then go that route! It may be a hovel, but it would be my hovel! I also want to be able to kick 'em out guilt free if need be! ;)

Erin, why do you have to go to a planning board to build on your own property. I've heard of folks having to jump through hoops to even paint their home in a town we used to live near that was considered "historical" in nature and you could not even cut down a tree in your own yard without the city's approval.

We've always lived somewhere that about anything goes, at least while in the country. The only exception was the first place my wife and I bought was on 10 acres when we just married and needed a place to put a mobile home on before we could build. It was near a large city and the only reason we could put the mobile on the property was cause it allready had one on it so it was grandfathered in.

Is the planning stuff due to your county not wanting any expansion and attempting to keep the countryside intact and not all divided up?

Yesterday our bank called and informed us our new home loan had been approved. My wife called the builder last night and he is currently without a crew but wants the job. She then called the second choice we had for a builder and he is a year away from being able to start. The headache has just began!!

Owensgirl, like I said before. Even if a relative "gives" you some money or land you'll still "pay" for it even if it's not with cash!

Jamie

BTW- So what's up Erin, grandapa wants you to have the land and grandma says no? Sorry just being nosy!!

The reason I need to go to the planning board is to see if the large parcel (21 acres) need to be subdivided so that I can have 5 acres. If it has to be subdivided (weird rules), then my survey has to be different. And a whole lot more expensive. And I have to do various other things. I just need to know their rules, and it seems that every house is different in this town. Very frustrating.
Right now I'm just awaiting the updated abstract of the land. It's pretty much in the attorney's hands right now. I just want to get all my steps done first so that it goes as quickly as possible once I actually HAVE the land in my name.

Erin, Owensgirl...believe me...Jamie is Right On The Money. We write a "check" every single day we stay on this farm. It isn't coming out of the bank account either.

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do (live under the control people who just don't deserve respect at all - they don't live here but FIL's 1% interest in the partnership is COMPLETE control...I'm still trying to figure that out). It has been a challenge to my nature to just deal with it...it's a miracle in itself that I haven't ruined it with my instinct to protect myself from nasty, horrible people like my inlaws.

My FIL almost sold 20 acres of the farm to the schoolboard last week without even asking us how we felt. It was a power game and a way to watch us squirm (though we didn't - we are out of emotion and just let it roll off the back). It's freaky how people get when they have control over your destiny.

In our case, we have decided to wait it out. I have wanted to leave many, many times, but our alternatives are dismal and I could never take this place from my daughter - it's all she knows.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Well, I think my problem is solved!
DH and I put a purchase offer in on yet another house. Again... multiple offers but the buyers said they liked ME!, so they were willing to work with us (plus our offer was $5K over the asking price... long story).
We're just waiting on the committment letter from the bank which should be here anyday now!
We plan to close on the house in the middle of July!
This at least gives us a little more time with the land deal.
Jamie,... my grandparents HATE each other. still married but hate each other. Therefore, when one says blue, the other says green just to PO the other one. Very sad situation. And my grandmother is a whack job. Nice person when she wants to be, but the moste evil, indictive person at times. But of course all the problems belong to someone else.. she's just a victim. I get tired of hearing it.

Erin, it sounds like your grandmother is related to my FIL...evil is his middle name.

I', glad you found a place! I can't wait to hear more about it (and pictures of course...have to have pictures :)

Hmmm... I'm so surprised you call them "in"-laws. Mine are out-laws for sure. Fortunately, my mother is fantastic, so we've never needed the outlaws help.

Having built and renovated 4 houses now, I will always opt for renovating. Building almost ended us up in divorce court, since the money is always too short and building time is always too long, and finally the builders want to break you by making you choose the type of light switch you want from 756,423 different styles, and you have 15 minutes to decide or the whole building project will be extended by another 6 weeks! Just at a time when you don't have the energy!!

Owensgirl, just because the neighbourhood looks bad, doesn't mean it is. Also, you may want to look at what has been happening around it lately - maybe it is on the way up, not down. You are smart not to overextend yourself or let the outlaws help out unless you live at least 10,000 km away from them (as a minimum, further would be recommended - it worked for me!!). Buy what you can afford, even if it isn't your ideal home, then fix it up and sell it and look to find something that is a step up enroute to your perfect place. If you take the long term view, you will succeed.

From my fact file of trivia: Property prices always rise, even if they look like they dip for awhile. Just ask your elders - they'll tell stories about how much they paid for a place when starting out. I did a lot of research into this when we were investing in rental properties, and I discovered inflation has been with us since Roman times, that the UK has had - on average - a 10% per annum compounded increase in the value of property for the last 900 years. That incompasses the Black Plague, civil war, 2 world wars, stock market crashes and more. And banks prove property is a good investment - just how much will they lend you to invest in the stock market versus buying property? Get onto the property ladder sooner rather than later, with scaled down expectations, and you are sure to do well over the long term.

Good luck!