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Recipe for a good (or fun) Christmas Cake!

mamacotti
19 years ago

Tequila Christmas Cake


1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

Nuts

1 bottle tequila

2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.

Mix on the burner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Well, just get up. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Comments (6)

  • Jamie_in_Missouri
    19 years ago

    I'll add a recipe for the best pie crust you ever had and it's easy!!

    1 3/4 cup un-bleached flour
    1/2 cup canola oil
    3-4 tlbs cold water

    Tender and flaky, has yet to fail.

    Jamie

  • loagiehoagie
    19 years ago

    Love the cake recipe Suzie!! I alreaded copied and pasted and sent around my circle of friends/relatives! I emailed the MIL regarding tips on getting published. Waiting to hear. Didn't forget about ya! Duane

  • Jamie_in_Missouri
    19 years ago

    Suzie, yea I knew it was a joke (the recipe)!

    Forgot to add to bake the pie crust for 20-25 minutes at 350 deg. but be sure and keep an eye on it as ovens vary.

    A quick recipe for the best peanut clusters you will ever have is as follows.

    Put one package of choclate flavored almond bark in a microwave safe bowl, turn the microwave on high for a minute or two or till the almond bark has melted. Then dump in a 16 oz. jar of Planters lightly salted dry roasted peanuts. Stir it all up and then spoon it on some wax paper. It only takes a few minutes and I swear folks will be asking you where you got the peanut clusters at. You can also substitute other nut's if you like.

    My wife will also sometimes make cranberry clusters using the same method with the exception of using the white almond bark and cranberries. They really get your taste buds going.

    Jamie

  • mamacotti
    Original Author
    19 years ago

    Wild Rice and Chestnut Dressing

    3 cups water
    3/4 cup jumbo-grade wild rice, rinsed
    3 tsp. salt
    8 Tbs. (1 stick) unsalted butter
    2 cups finely chopped yellow onion
    2 cups finely chopped fennel bulb
    1 Tbs. poultry seasoning
    1 tsp. dried thyme
    1/2 tsp. fennel seeds
    1 lb. sliced whole wheat bread, 2 to 3 days old,
    toasted and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
    1 jar (15 oz.) steamed chestnuts
    3 eggs
    2 1/2 cups turkey stock
    1/4 cup finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
    1 1/2 tsp. freshly ground pepper


    In a heavy pot, bring the water to a boil over high heat. Add the wild rice and 1 tsp. of the salt. Cover partially, reduce the heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, until the rice is tender, about 45 minutes. Drain the rice and let cool.

    Preheat an oven to 325°F. Generously butter a large, shallow baking dish.

    In a large fry pan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the onion, chopped fennel, poultry seasoning, thyme and fennel seeds. Cover and cook, stirring once or twice, until the vegetables are tender, about 15 minutes. Let cool.

    In a large bowl, combine the bread, chestnuts, the onion mixture and the wild rice. In another bowl, whisk the eggs until blended. Whisk the stock into the eggs, then stir the egg mixture into the bowl with the bread mixture. Stir in the parsley, the remaining 2 tsp. salt and the pepper.

    Spoon the dressing into the prepared baking dish, cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake for 1 hour. Uncover and bake until the dressing is lightly browned on top, 20 to 30 minutes more. Serves 10.

    Note: This dish can also be packed loosely in the body and neck cavities of the turkey and served as a stuffing. Secure the neck flap with kitchen string or pin it to the back with toothpicks or trussing pins. Tying the legs together will help hold the stuffing in the body cavity. For turkeys weighing 16 lb. or less, add 30 minutes to the total roasting time. For turkeys weighing more than 16 lb., add 1 hour to the total roasting time.

  • leannepa
    19 years ago

    Canadian War cake
    This has been in my family for ??? generations, just ever. We don't know why it is called war cake except maybe because it uses no eggs , butter or milk? Anyway, we all make this only at midwinter solstice.
    1 box raisins
    2 Cups Hot Water
    2 tBsp lard (shortening) or old fashioned LARD your choice (health nuts, try canola oil.)
    1 tsp salt
    1 box brown sugar yes a BOX!(sub 3/4 cup white and add 2 tbsp molassas)
    1 tsp cloves
    1/2 tsp cinnamon
    Preheat to 350*. Combine all in dutch oven and boil for minimum of 25 min. Smells great. Let cool and 3 CUPS FLOUR mixed with 1 TSP BAKING SODA disolved in warm water. Stir well and pour evenly 1/2 -3/4 full into lightly greases loaf pans 2 large or 4 medium. They will rise a bit.
    Bake 30-60 minutes depending on pan size at 350* or until toothpick is just clean. Great just slightly soft in middle, warmed with cream cheese on top.

  • Joylene
    19 years ago

    This recipe is one I make this time of year for birthdays, not necessarily Christmas. A very luscious chocolate cake, but inexpensive. It can be kept plain or filled and decorated as you like.
    BOILED CHOCOLATE CAKE:
    Into a saucepan, put 4oz Butter 1Cup Water, 1 Cup Sugar and 2 tablespoons of a good Cocoa Powder. Bring to the boil and simmer for three minutes. Let cool. Then mix in 2 eggs 1 1/2 Cups of Self Raising Flour 1 teaspoon Bicarbonate of Soda. Put in whatever tin you like, eg:can be made into a slab or a conventional cake in an 8" tin. Bake in moderate oven until firm.
    We are on a dairy-free diet, so instead of cream as a filling, I make cooked filling with soy milk. For birthdays I make a white custard and a choc-custard and layer the cake with them then cover with icing. It is just delicious.

    For Christmas I make a 'traditional' Christmas Pudding. The recipe has been handed down through generations of my past husbands family. I have modernised it somewhat. I don't boil it in a cloth and I use a good quality margarine instead of 'suet'. Also add other dried fruits too if I have them, eg: dried apricots and dates.
    This recipe is a large quantity, can be broken down to half or a quarter.
    AUNTY ELSIE'S CHRISTMAS PUDDING

    1 1/2 lbs Plain Flour
    1 teaspoon Bicarbonate of Soda
    1 lb fresh breadcrumbs
    21b suet (any shortening will do, butter or margarine)
    3 lb sultanas
    3lb raisins
    3lb currants
    1 1/4 lbs sugar (can mix white and brown)
    1 Cup Milk
    20 Eggs
    Brandy, Whiskey or Fruit Juice

    Chop the raisins and mix fruit, sugar and put some in liquor/fruit juice to moisten and leave to meld overnight or several days occasionally giving it a stir through.
    Mix in all other ingrediants and put into well greased tins or bowls and cover with greased cooking paper or a lid and tie the top. Put into a pan of boiling water that just comes up two thirds of the way of the side of the recepticle. Boil gently for five hours, replenishing the water with boiling water every hour or so.
    This can be made days or weeks before Christmas. To reheat we just slice and heat in the microwave! In the old days they used to reboil it. Probably a good idea when done in a pudding cloth. Is just fine reheated in the microwave though. Can be served with a brandy custard or last year I glazed ours with a caramel sauce as well.

    For Christmas lunch before the pudding, and some cold sweets too, we usually have a roast, pork and turkey or duck and fresh vegetables from my Dad's garden.

    A very Merry, Happy Christmas and New Year to everyone, Joylene.