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thieving granny
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Posted by sheilajh z6MO (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 11:00
Hi, there this is the first time I've looked at this forum and when I saw the posts about dumpster diving it made me want to share a story with you.
For about 40 years my grandmother has been making memorial day flower arrangements out of found flowers(plastic, silk), she buys them at yard sales, dollar shop, and gathers them from the dumpsters at cemetaries. The ones she gets from the dumpsters she cleans, paints, whatever. She also gets frames and baskets from the dumpsters. She sells these(dirt cheap) around Memorial day to people who are elderly or on fixed incomes, people who can't afford to go pay high prices at the flower shop to decorate their loved ones graves. She has never made any secret of how she gets them and anyone who buys them knows they are recycled.
Just the other day I heard that the owner of a local flower shop had started the rumor that he had seen her stealing flowers off a grave and that her van was full of flowers that she had stolen. He is saying that she has done this for years and no one should buy from her.
That makes me so furious, I know that she would never steal from a grave, she has always been an honest hardworking woman and would just be sick if she heard this. I'm afraid someone is going to tell her, she is 85 and just dosen't need this crap. I hate to confront him about it cause he has the rep. of being sort of a bad*ss and I don't want to make matters worse. Does anyone have any advice as to how to stop this. |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: thieving granny
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- Posted by Rosa 4 CO (My Page) on
Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 12:41
I'm furious!!!!
He is aparently threatened by your grandmothers thriftiness-and I don't know why as he is NOT interested in serving those that grandmother does.
I'm a total B#$@% and here is what I would do. Go in and bait him-ask about his flower prices and ask if he knows about this old woman. When he tells you this story inform him what you heard about his store and products-that he is overpriced, his flowers are not top quality, that they wilt in days, his attitude sucks, that he's not nice to his customes and then ask why he is making up lies about someone he doesn't even know. Then tell him you will personally continue to let everyone know what a poor business he runs and what a liar he is. So he kicks you out of the store-so what?? Are you going to shop there anyway???
If anyone tells your granny just brush it off-Tell granny he's just jealous and that eveyone knows she is NOT a thief and to pay no attention to rumors.
Good luck!! Rosa-who can be a vindictive B&^%$# and has no compunction about handling conflict (or sometimes making it, lol!) |
RE: thieving granny
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| Well, I'm not a bad*ss, but here's an alternate approach. Get your granny some good publicity. Contact a local paper. Small, neighborhood papers are frequently interested in feature stories; metro sections in larger papers are too. (At a larger paper, you might try the metro/city editor or the religion reporter.) Also, you might contact her church, or local service organizations that work with seniors, and see if they have a bulletin or newsletter. Write out a press release of sorts. Tell them about this inspiring woman you know (I wouldn't mention the connection.) Tell them about the great work she does, that it's a labour of love all year round for here, and that she makes these available for low-income or otherwise disadvantage people. Include a picture or two of some of her nicest pieces, or a story about one of the best examples of "re-purposing" found material. Include contact information, both for you and for her. You can tell them she's far too modest to ever brag about what she does, but that you find it inspiring and think others might as well. She might not only get good publicity, but a wholesaler or JoAnn's manager or someone like that may be inspired to donate supplies to her and save her from dumpster diving! The danger might be an increased request for her mementos.... Good luck. And congrats to your granny for thinking of others in that way. |
RE: thieving granny
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| Legally speaking, the flower shop hack is slandering your grandmother. If you felt ornery, you could always see about hauling him into civil court... Jason |
RE: thieving granny
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| I like Alison's suggestion. I'll bet Granny would get some flower donations from local residents and shop owners if people were aware of what she does. What a shame that someone would be so mean. |
RE: thieving granny
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| By all means, play up the positive! Send an article to Reader's Digest, AARP, the local newspaper - any publication that likes human interest stories! Try the TV station even. Call your local Human Resource dept. and let them know how this elderly lady is not only keeping herself active and her mind in creative-mode but how much she is helping others less fortunate. However, the other side of me says tell the other shopkeeper what he can do with his flowers! |
RE: thieving granny
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Yes, I like the good publicity ideas!! But, can I throw a caution in here?
Does Granny have a fixed income that would possibly be reduced if anyone wants to make trouble (like the shop owner)? Is she selling without a city/county business lisence? Is she required to collect local/state sales tax? Being the vindictive B*^%$ that I am, I can think of many ways to make trouble for Granny that's worse than a rumor or two. And could be legally upheld with a simple phone call to the right authorities. Sorry for bringing this up but they're not my crazy rules that can thwart people like your Granny, or a 12 year old selling lemonaide on the street!! |
RE: thieving granny
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| Good point, Rosa. Publicity means scrutiny, and you never know when some mean-spirited bureaucrat might be forced to enforce the letter of the law. Worth a call to the SBA or a senior organization (there are some rules about outside income that could affect medicaid/medicare.) I'm sure there are allowances; if you earn less than so much a quarter you are exempt, or if you call it "a donation" rather than "a price". Probably more feedback than you thought you'd get, eh, Sheila? |
RE: thieving granny
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| Yes, I have an idea on how to stop this. You march yourself right into that flower shop and get right in his face, with your husband and all male/female relatives that will go with you, and do it in front of customers and employees. You tell him that he is a liar and is causing your grandmother grief and if he doesn't knock it off and apologize to your Grandmother immediately you will call your attorney. Then you start spreading his illmanners and bad attitude to everyone that will listen and even to those who won't. You could submit an editorial to your local newspaper and name names.... Boy..that fries me, too. I'll talk to him if you want me to. Jim |
RE: thieving granny
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| Tell him that you will start badmouthing him, and remind of the rule of "word of mouth"....everyone you tell tells 7 people, each of those people tells 7 people, and on and one. Imagine how much business he would lose if you told 100 people! (I'm a mean b*&%@ too) |
RE: thieving granny
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| thanks for all the supportive feedback, I feel much better just being able to vent about this. I suppose I will just have to hope this just dies down, the person who told me has begged me not to confront him, as she has a business very near him. But I'm certainly not going to forget and prior to next Memorial day I'm going to get her a big ad in the local paper. Thanks again for all the support, I can tell if there's anybody I wouldn't want to make mad, its a bunch of thrifty gardeners, you guys could get nasty |
RE: thieving granny
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Morning,
Not nasty... just protective, honest and real. We would give you the shirt off our backs, to do something with I'm sure...LOL, but don't mess w/us. We are our own people... good people, 'Do unto others...' Jim |
RE: thieving granny
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Hi Sheila,
This brings to mind an old saying my Mom told me: "When your head stands above the crowd, expect to be shot at." I bet your grandma could care less what that old *&^%$#@ that's bad-mouthing her thinks! She's doing good for others, God Bless her and you too! Li |
RE: thieving granny
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| The store owners probably jealous becasue everyone is buying from granny and not him! |
RE: thieving granny
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| The problem is there are some people out there who do not know her and WILL believe the worst. You definitely need to do something. Slander has a way of taking on the shape of fact, the best you can do is nip it thoroughly in the bud. I like the PR suggestions best and yes, there might be some swine who might try to go after her on taxes or whatever - after all this is America, land of the not-so-free - but I bet she will be just fine. |
RE: thieving granny
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Hi Everyone,
I really like Alison's idea but the post about the scrutiny is a valid point however...go to the media and if the "powers that be" come after her for selling the flowers go back to the media with a follow up. My bet is we aren't the only ones peeved about this!! Della |
RE: thieving granny
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| Just wondering how granny was doing. I actually DID know someone who was "grave-robbing for flowers. A guy I went to high school with kept bringing his girlfriends flowers, which we all thought made him "sweet" at the time... Wrong! he would lift a boquet off of a grave on his stroll through the cementary to the bus stop, and since there was a florest on site, no one thought anything about a guy carring flowers out of it. he did this for about 2 yrs, b4 he overlooked a sympathy card in the flowers, you can imagine what happened when the news went through school. |
RE: thieving granny
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God bless your lil' Granny. What a thoughtful, sweet way to serve others.
A florist in a town where I grew up was actually caught going to the cemetery after a funeral (and after family had gone) and stealing pot plants and the more expensive arrangements he'd delivered earlier to the services! Dirty dog!!! You might mention to this guy/gal that you heard it about him/her, but you KNOW it's not true 'n go on about how devastating gossip can be, etc. |
RE: thieving granny
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| How is your Grandmother doing? Update, please. |
RE: thieving granny
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| As someone who's worked at a flower shop for a few years, I hate to hear how you're granny's being treated. We have a competing florist who does the same type of badmouthing about us because she has trouble competing with our prices so she tells everyone we sell dead flowers, etc. My advice: As much fun as provoking the guy might be, you should ignore him. People who use your granny's services will know he's lying. Even the people who go to the guy's store will wonder why he's talking about her. He comes across as unprofessional when he talks about her. |
RE: thieving granny
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| Badass???? Honey, how scary could he be, he's a flower shop owner..... Tell him that if he doesn't stop bugging your grandma you're going to sue him for defamation of character..... Tell him you have a few friends who could ruff im' up...... |
RE: thieving granny
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Remember that show...REAL PEOPLE. I used to love it. Stories like your granny. People recycling and living cheap...and they were thought of in a positive manner. Now you are fearful to try and save items meant for the trash...or you can get ticketed/fined/etc. Ridiculous to be in such times. We almost need another great depression to make people appreciate thrift and our local products for that matter.
I got a name for the article for you: Real Granny!
good luck and focus on good as there is always way too much bad out there in this world. Good for your Gran by staying active and helping. I'm glad she has an interest to keep her mind young...many people lack anything especially at that age. God bless you both. |
RE: thieving granny
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Shees...I get all fired up every time I re-read this post, LOL!!
How is granny? We're all waitin' for an update...... |
RE: thieving granny
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| Here it is Memorial Day weekend and I just came across this post completely by accident. So how is Granny? I hope she's out there selling her flowers this weekend. |
RE: thieving granny
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| I agree with gingerlilli. By ignoring him you take the high road and look good. Another less aggressive confrontational method would be to stop by his store and browse and listen and see if he's bad mouthing your grandma. If he asks what your doing say you want to get a bouquet(sp?) of flowers for your grandma because i don't know you love her or some such mushy reason. Anyway if he starts to bad mouth him simply ask where he heard this? What proof does he have. If he starts getting flustered and ornery politely and nicely with a smile on your face and being all sweet and kind and innocent remind him of the golden rule. How would he like people talking like that about him? That kinda deflates a fiery person. ANd if he still grunts and moans and other wise acks like a buthead it makes you look good and him well a big ole meany. Then tell him you know for a fact she dumpster dives for her stuff. Which is legal, otherwise police would need a warrant to go through trash and tabloids wouldn't have so much info on stars and what not when people go through trash. And let him know she basically sells it to people to put food on her table or some such touchy feely reason. Now don't forget to do this when he's busy and to be polite and nice and smile. AT no point loose your temper and get defensive. If neccesary look hurt. an image for you would be a sweet little girl act confronting a overbearing adult and the girl is in the right. :) Now thats being real b@@@@Y |
RE: thieving granny
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| I would never defend a mean ol' liar, but on the other hand, a florist has trememdous overhead and he may be desperate to save his business. My late husband was an interior designer, and there was a woman in town who would call on people after they left his shop, and offer to get things wholesale for a small commission. That made him SO MAD! She didn't have a shop, or license or anything...just gall. I would go to this man's shop and discuss it in a polite friendly way, and convince him that granny is no threat to his clients...if his is STILL rude, I would gently mention that slander is illegal, and leave. |
RE: thieving granny
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| This suggestion is inspired by the above post of the high school flower grave-robber: I would buy some sympathy cards you'd get for a funeral floral arrangement, write a little something in them, go to mr. b@d-@ss's shop with a decoy friend, have decoy friend distract him, then stick the sympathy cards into some of his pre-made floral arrangements. How do you think he'd like THAT once word got around he's a flower grave-robber. :-D |
RE: thieving granny
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| If he is making something up to ruin her reputation then it is slander and he can be sued. But you have to be able to prove he said it and prove that granny did not steal the flowers. Also, he could reciprocate with a call to the irs if she did not pay tax on the small profit that she made. I hope this helps. good luck |
RE: thieving granny
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I would just love to thank everyone who has sent all the messages in support of my grandmother. She did indeed continue with her business as usual this year, I didn't hear anything negative from the jerk who was making such a stink last year.
Sadly her vision has continued to deteriorate and 3 weeks ago her little dog, Shadow, who was her eyes and ears died. My grandmother became very depressed and stopped eating or drinking properly. She became dehydrated and had to be hospitalized. Now, after almost 2 weeks in the hospital she still cannot eat, she has lost alot of weight and now cannot walk alone.
I would just like to use this forum to let everyone that I can know what a wonderful grandmother she is, she has spent countless hours at the bedside of sick relatives, she has been married and widowed 3 times, each husband suffered lengthy illnesses, she cared from them and loved them until the end. When I lost my home in my divorce, she GAVE me a rental house that she owned, it continues to be my home which I love dearly.
I could go on and on about all the wonderful things she has done for all her loved ones, but I fear that she is near the end. Once again I want to thank everyone for their support and ask that you continue to keep her in your thoughts, her name is Willa. |
RE: thieving granny
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I have followed Grandma Willa's story- really admire her. See if your hospital has a visiting animal program - QUICKLY. Many do, and if yours doesn't ask around. A placid dependable doggie on a visit could be just the thing to help her through this- or lift her spirits a bit.
Or if someone you know has a service dog- heck, we even borrowed a police dog once for a half hour, just for a visit. A little fur beneath your hand, the love that only an animal can give- the scent of flowers- the kindest gifts we were ever given on this earth....
And do think about writing this story up for some of the national outlets- it is a true kind story about how anyone can make a BIG difference! lemonbird
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RE: thieving granny
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RE: thieving granny
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| I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma's declining health. It is so hard to see the generous giving woman you love so much suffer. My prayers are with her, you and your family. |
RE: thieving granny
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- Posted by Rosa 4-ish (My Page) on
Sun, Jul 18, 04 at 8:49
Oh, I am so-o-o sorry to hear of Granny Willa's health problems. I do agree with lemonbird. Please check with the hospital to see if they have visiting doggie programs for the elderly. And speak with her doc if they don't. Maybe she/he has some ideas or has dealt with these kind of situations before. Also wondering about a bona fide assist dog for her with her vision and hearing problems.
My prayers are with the both of you. |
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RE: thieving granny
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| Hope Granny is doing well! ~Dusty~ |
RE: thieving granny
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- Posted by Rosa 4-ish (My Page) on
Fri, Aug 13, 04 at 16:55
RE: thieving granny
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| My prayers are with your Grandma and your entire family. I pray you are all granted strength and that our prayers help to ease your pain. Della |
RE: thieving granny
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| My prayers are with you and Grandma Willa Mimi |
RE: thieving granny
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| Your grandma is a real sweetie. I hope she is doing better-please know that we are thinking of her and give her a hug from all of us. |
RE: thieving granny
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Once again I would like to thank everyone for their support. Since my last post in July, they found that my grandma had a inoperable tumor in her stomach, she continued to be unable to eat more than a few bites at a time. We took her home and were able to keep here there, thanks to all the wonderful friends and family who helped and a great doctor, who allowed us to keep her home and gave her everything she needed to be comfortable. She passed away at 4:30 saturday morning, my mother, my daughter and myself were at her bedside, she died peacefully in her sleep.
We buried her yesterday, it was warm, sunny and she was surrounded by many beautiful flowers (I'm sure you're wondering, no, none of them were from his shop)
Thank you all again for all your emails and prayers
Sheila |
RE: thieving granny
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| I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. You and your family will be in our prayers. It did make me feel better that no one used that florist shop that had spoke so badly about your grandmother. Word of mouth is a powerful tool when used properly, or can be very damaging to one who doesn’t use it correctly. |
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| I'm very sorry for your loss. |
RE: thieving granny
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How fortunate your grandmother was to have you there with her when she passed. I believe you learned well from her, she's passed her love, strength and kind heart to you.
Be as good to yourself as she always was to you,
Katie |
RE: thieving granny
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| Sheila -- I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. That is always hard to take. But what a wonderful legacy she gave you, of compassion and caring and creativity. And what a wonderful gift you gave her, of respect and friendship. Too few families have that kind of wealth, even for a brief period of time. And it sounds like you're sharing that legacy with your daughter, making her part of that tradition. Good roots are your greatest strength! |
RE: thieving granny
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| Sheila, I'm so sorry to learn of your loss. I'm sure that you know that while it is hard for those of us left behind, your grandmother is in the company of those loved ones who have gone before. What a wonderful cycle was represented in her room as she passed from this life to the next. I'm glad that she was surrounded by those who love her and will carry on her love, generosity and strength. Prayers with you always. Mimi |
RE: thieving granny
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| What a beautiful story! I was so sad to read the end, though. But she loved, and was loved, and that's all that really matters. (((((Sheilajh))))) |
RE: thieving granny
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- Posted by nettle z8 Vancouver BC (My Page) on
Sun, Nov 7, 04 at 17:20
so sorry to hear about your granny.
when you've given yourself some time to heal from grief, what about submitting a story to a local paper about your gran? i thought it was a good idea before, but maybe even better now. look at how many people have read this thread and been touched by her story. it might be a nice thing for your family to work on together? |
RE: thieving granny
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| I just stumbled into this website and thread, and enjoyed very much your story about your wonderful granny. She will live on in the hearts of many. |
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