Looking for a magic wand? You won't find one. You need to look at your health a little more closely, and at your lifestyle and your relationship.

A chat to your doctor could reveal any number of things which will affect your libido. Anything from low iron levels to diabetes, poor diet (vitamin/mineral deficiencies), thyroid problems - you name it. Or it could simply be plain old boredom in your marriage, in which case, your husband may need to sharpen up his act a little. It may well be some problem with other medications that you are taking - even the contraceptive pill has side-effects. A weekend away without the kids could work wonders! Talk it through with your doctor, and don't expect any magic pills or potions.

However, meantime, the following might help a little. And the link below discusses this issue as well - some herbs work for both men and women.

For men and women experiencing problems becoming sexually aroused or responsive, rub the following mixture onto the base of the spine. Simmer 3 1/2 tablespoons Fenugreek seeds for 5 minutes in 1 litre of water, remove from heat and add 2 handfuls of Savory. Leave to infuse for up to 1 hour. Drink 2 cups of this tea before bed as well as rubbing on the back. In addition, use dried Savory on all meat dishes and with vegetables as a seasoning. Winter or Summer Savory can be used.

To increase sexual desire and to balance the hormones, the following herbs may be taken: Ginseng, Damiana, Safflower, Juniper, Saw Palmetto, Chickweed, and Plantain.

Before beginning on any herbal medicine regime, discuss it with your doctor, and for the correct dosages for you, you will need to consult a professionally qualified herbalist.

Here is a link that might be useful: herbs for men

Two thumbs up for Ginseng, Schzandra and Maca (alternately, not all at once).
There was a thread awile back on Fematril. You can do a search at the bottom of the main Herbalism forum page; try fematril, sexual, libido, and any great adjectives nouns or verbs you can think of :o)
Enjoy! Lynn

I always thought that kids were the anti-sex pill! :o) You might also look into medical reasons for low hormones... unfortunately, testosterone is the hormone primarily in charge of sex drive. You can TRY to pop a pill for it, but if it isn't mental, I will betcha $$ that it's a hormone imbalance... which can be righted with herbs or western medicine. I was really upset when the FDA wouldn't pass the testosterone patch for women... of course they don't want a lot of women running around with high libidos...can't have that! Women in menopause have a significant drop in hormones AND sometimes sex drive... caused by hormone imbalances... if you are around 40, you might check into that as well.

I sure wouldn't discount a medical problem such as what's already been mentioned. But, I find that bouts of decreased libido on my end are caused by either stress from work, kids, trying to do too much, sick MIL, etc..., or some (usually minor) problem I'm avoiding with DH.

Before looking for a magic pill I would recommend a couple things...Weekend away. Too expensive? One night at just about any motel with a bottle of your favorite wine and a deck of cards (for strip poker).
Get a babysitter or send them to their respective friends for sleepover to get some quiet time. You don't have to do this at night. Take advantage of a kids birthday parties or the movies to get rid of them for a few hours and do something for yourselves. It doesn't have to or always lead to sex. I find that just being able to relax with DH (could be reading our favorite books together in bed, taking a bath together, giving each other a massage) will work wonders other nights as well.
Buy some new sexy undergarments-not something to only be pulled out for special occasions. Something silky or soft that you would actually wear on a regular basis. Retail therapy works especially if it's something that makes you feel good and sexy.
Not trying to say that the man in you life should't take some iniative if the case is that you are somewhat bored of late. That's happend too but I do know I can help that process along and it's well worth the effort on my part.
Just some ideas so hope this helps you.

heck, I think one of The best libido-lifters is to sleep naked , or nearly so, at times! This works really well if you rarely or ever do so. (this assumes you like your body at least a bit and that you have a decent thread count sheet :) ....lots of excellent thoughts and suggestions above and I concur on the no magic pill and also the peri-menopausal thought as to change in libido.

But I have found that thyroid problems or no, peri-menopause or not (and I know a bit about both) that when libido wanes there is ALSO a very great **need to FEEL.....and to take it sloooow at such times. To begin with very basic sensual things LIKE being naked in the sheets, etc. There is this line that sometimes get crossed I find and we lose our sense of knowing "touch" easily - and touch / feel leads to igniting the imagination and that leads to libido ....

With the lives we all lead (kids, career, homes, extended family etc) it's not tough to get caught up in thinking and talking and running...and lose the sense of sensual feel. Of simply feeling. Especially so if we are at odds with our significant other during growth spurts.... (because don't you find that one grows and the other must learn the new dance step? I find this in my marriage )

I feel your pain sister!!! I've just ordered some fematril. I'm in perfect health - not stressed out at all - just reach a phase in my life where my libido is pretty much zero. Difficutly in arousal, etc. - despite my sweet husband's best interests. He's wonderful - no reason there to decrease my libido - he's even a great cook. It's like a female impotence - peri-menopausal hormanal imbalance. I'll let you know how the Fematril works - I've heard good things about it. We're not alone - very common problem!!!

Fematril made me feel awful!!! I had a headache and was terribly sleepy. Slept most of the evening on the days that I took it. I tried skipping a few days to make sure it was the Fematril that made me feel so bad and it was!!! I got the exact opposite effect from what I wanted!! I've had more success with a product called Women's Libido that I found at a local health food store - and with Cobra - which is designed for men and if you aren't used to taking Ginseng - I would recommend opening the capsule and pouring out half of it. I had a very powerful result from the Cobra!!

Serenity, thanks for your post. I am at the same place you are. I have talked with my doctor and gotten my hormones tested,etc. Like you, I have a wonderful husband, but my libido seems to have bottomed out. I looked for the Women's Libido at three health food stores, but found none. I did see the Cobra at one. Have you tried it anymore, and do you still recommend it. Thanks.

---Heathen1 wrote: I was really upset when the FDA wouldn't pass the testosterone patch for women... of course they don't want a lot of women running around with high libidos...can't have that! ---

AMEN to that, Heathen1 !! FDA has been afflicted with the FEMA syndrome and all their recent decisions have been purely politically motivated; NOT based on safety or science.

I'm one of those post-meno women who suffered with horrendous back pain, slipped (deteriorating) discs, migraine headaches, vaginal atrophy and libido in the cellar - all the while believing that the oral estrogen & progesterone pills I was taking were state of the art HRT... NOT!

Hormone replacement needs to address both the loss of estrogen AND androgen (testosterone) and should have a very small continuous dose of progesterone thrown in (to prevent buildup of the uterine lining and possible consequent infection or cancer). And these hormones should all be administered TOPICALLY because the digestive system destroys them and because of a possible health risk in that 1st pass through the liver. (It is believed that the *very* slight higher incidence of breast cancer in women taking both E & P in the women's health initiative study was because the progesterone was administered orally and thus reached the breast in greater amount.) Numerous studies have found that testosterone replacement lowers the risk of heart disease in women, period. But FDA did not chose to address this evidence.

If the intrinsa patch for women had been approved, every woman in this country would now be able to get effective hormone replacement directly from her doctor.

The best options available now are to seek a prescription for estrogen & progesterone cream from a compounding pharmacy, or patches. And to combine that with a compounded testosterone cream or gel. Unfortunately with the DEA breathing down their necks, doctors want to protect themselves with documentation that this off-label use of a controlled substance is necessary, and hormone tests are a most unreliable diagnostic tool.

An alternative to testosterone is the androgenic supplement DHEA. A 5mg capsule inserted vaginally each day (or night) will replenish dwindling testosterone. (Taking DHEA by mouth is not effective for the same reason that other hormones should be used topically.)

If this advice protects one single other woman from the painful illnesses, mental and physical, that I suffered from hormone deficiency, it was worth writing.

The indications for testosterone therapy in women are still not completely understood (more here) and any reluctance by the FDA to approve specific treatments is based on wanting to avoid undesirable side effects, particularly in long-term use.

"And these hormones should all be administered TOPICALLY because the digestive system destroys them..."

Oral hormone replacement therapy (and birth control pills) work because the active ingredients are not destroyed in the digestive tract.

In relation to coronary artery disease, testosterone has been found to have potentially positive and negative effects, and there are to my knowledge no large-scale trials showing that testosterone supplementation in women is safe and effective in protecting them from heart disease. Similarly, while a lot of elderly people take DHEA, there's no good scientific evidence to support its routine use either.

Can you imagine the uproar if the FDA prematurely approved testosterone patches for treating women's sexual dysfunction, and then 5-10 years down the line it was discovered that heart attacks were increased 30% in these patients?

Hi, I hope it´s not too late to get a response from someone on this topic. I have a virtually zero libido (as in no interest in sex, not that I´m not able to O once into it). I have got worse over the last few years and it started when I was on anti-depressants. It just killed it! The instructions said it would return once I stopped taking the medication but it did not... it has got worse over the years despite the fact that I only took the medication for about 6 months and that was about 5 years ago! I tried L-Arginine and DHEA (orally) but they had unpleasant side effects, one gave me heart palpitations and the other spots so I stopped before I got any other side effects. Can anyone recommend anything. I´m not 40 yet and not premenapausal. It is simply the drugs that killed it off. Please can someone help.

Why haven't you seen your gynecologist? As the second 'post-er' in this thread said, there can be many reasons for the problem and there may be very good answers (and treatment) available through your MD, but you should at least (certainly at your age) look for a diagnosis first, and not stuff off the internet from people who do not know you and are not doctors.

Because I know what caused it, that´s why. It wasn´t a traumatic sexual experience, it wasn´t the menopause, etc etc. The libido went downhill the day after I started taking Paroxitine and never returned. I have searched the web and medical sites to see if there is anything that doctors recommend as a SRI reversal but there isn´t. Trials have been done on a handful of women with a couple of drugs but with no conclusive outcome so I wondered if anyone else had tried a herbal remedy which had worked, eg. Fematril. I don´t have a gyno. I live in a tiny village in Spain and the local doctor doesn´t know didly squat.

Damiana

I have a few questions for some of you.

I also have a very low libido. I've had this problem my whole life and after seeing countless doctors, I had pretty much given up on it. However, about 12 months after my daughter was born, when I stopped breastfeeding, my libido finally was at a normal level (or maybe I should say functional since normal is relative, wanting it at least 3-4 times a week). My libido remained at a "normal" level for several months. I talked to the doctor about going back on birth control, but told her I was concerned that that may be the culprit for my low libido (I've been using BC since I was sexually active). So she tried the nuva ring (there are theories that when the estrogen is ingested, a certain protien is released that binds sexual hormones, thus decreasing libido). Well, within a week of starting the nuva ring my libido was back to ZERO. So I stopped taking it immediately. I went straight back to the doctor. She said allow some time for my body to return to normal BC free. Well, nearly a year has passed and I am still at zero. So again, another trip to the doctor. I told her I suspect that my problems are hormone related since I have noticed changes in libido at times when my hormones are changing (i.e. when I stopped breastfeeding, when I got pregnant, when I started a new BC, etc.) She basically told me there is no magic pill and there is nothing she can do. I am so sick of hearing that. Through the course of my marriage she's the 7th doctor I've seen for this issue.

Anyhow, onto my questions...many of you sugessted having hormone level tested. Who will do this? I have talked to both OBGYNs and family practitioners and none of them would admit that this was doable. I strongly suspect my libido issues are hormone related (as well as the headaches I get) and have wanted to have my hormone levels checked for quite some time.

Also, does anyone know of any doctors or herbalists that specialize in this sort of issue? I'd even be willing to travel far if I thought I could find someone who would help me fix the problem.

And to address comments made to other posters, I have looked at both my overall health and my mental state and can assure neither is the issue. I am physically and mentally healthy, my relationship with my husband is likewise healthy, he is compassionate and helpful regarding the problem, and I achieve a great level of satisfaction when we are active. I just can't seem to get in the mood. Ever.

Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.

interesting thread....i saw a mention of DHEA above, and i would like to point out that this substance should be used very carefully, if at all....it has a host of potential negative side effects...being hypertensive, i should never use it, but i experimented anyway...the only dose that didn't make me feel bad was 1/4 of a 25mg tab (6.25mg approx).....i'm seeking supplements that will charge up my saggy matabolism so i'll lose weight and be more active, so this one was worth investigating....i have stopped using it, though....have had much better luck with ginseng and other substances, though ginseng should also be approached with caution: the american vs. asian varieties vary greatly in their impact on blood pressure....

my wife has had libido issues all through our 26 years of marriage, but it is always traceable back to mental/emotional state....though sex is infrequent (one or two times a month), it's still good when it happens, and she never fails to climax, so i doubt there's any hormonal factors at work...she does take a low dose of synthroid daily, after being diagnosed about 10 years ago....much of it simply has to do with her attitude and so on...there isn't a chance she'd ever seek professional help for it, because she wouldn't consider sex to be all that important....for her, everything has to be just so: she can't be tired, or worried about anything, there can't be any company in the house, it has to be in the afternoon, and so on....bottom line, women are complicated creatures....many's the time i've wished she were a sex-crazed nympho, but that's not very realistic, and unlikely to happen....now we're heading for the change soon, and God only knows what will happen then....only time will tell....

Hi, I'm only young (20) but I was actually wondering for an opposite treatment.. I find I have an increased sexual appetite, and sometimes my partner jokes that I try to use him as a sex slave... I do not want this. I was wondering if anyone could offer any suggestions of herb/food/natural remedies that might help DE-crease ones libido... thankyou.

Here we go again! Talk to your doctor! Don't just put stuff in YOUR body because someone here had an aunt or sister who tried it (whatever it is) and supposedly felt better for a time! Hormones are incredibly complex, and your whole body is involved (though your brain - pituitary gland - is the source of many). You could have all kinds of 'reasons' for wanting sex more often, but your body is unique, and what 'works' for one person (in their hugely complex unique body of their own) may not be the answer for you, or worse could be the source of worse trouble.

Hello all!
I'm also in the menopausal, fattening phase of life - hate it! and my sex drive has decreased - hate that too! I usually have a glass of wine to unwind, but I seem to need more each time, so I kind of get a bit concerned about that.
All suggestions are welcome. Has anyone tried cabinda?
Sex is great!

You quoted "Sound like quite a stew of chemicals."

I see your home page quote is from Mr ED

You should stick to horses. Every one of those ingredients if you feed them into Wikipedia, you will find are not chemicals, but organic based.

If you have no iron in your body rush to your doctor, if you have any strenght left.

Look before you leap!

Here is a link that might be useful: Wikipedia

I don't know what supplying a definition of encyclopedia has to do with this, but here's a Wikipedia definition of organic chemistry (and chemicals) that might be helpful.

Because a chemical mixture is "organic" does not imply it is either safe or useful for a medical condition (organic chemicals are used, among other things, in plastics, explosives, drugs and petrochemicals).

Selenium is touted to increase a man's libido. I haven't seen mention that it increases a woman's libido. I think a regime of Vit. B complex might be in order. The B complex governs emotions. There might be a bit of depression involved in a lack of libido, which might be resolved by Vit. B complex therapy. (Vit. B complex is often marketed as stress vitamins.)

I don't know if perimenopause should be discounted. It happens early for some women. The change of life is approximately a ten year process, so one doesn't necessarily know one is into it until one is well into it. I've known a few women who started the change of life in their mid-30s. I went though it in my 40s, and was postmenopausal by age 50. Perimenopause definitely affected my libido.

As a side note to one recent poster, one can disagree without being rude about it. Everybody has a right to their opinion. I happen to agree with what you said about the chemicals mentioned by another poster actually being organic in nature. But I wish you had made your statement in a more positive, polite way.

Since some time has passed, I'm wondering if anyone has anything new to report after trying one of the supplements discussed here. Somehow, I can't help but thinking that this is an appropriate topic for a gardening forum -- there are many different gardens we tend in our lives.

Ginseg is considered good for a man's libido. It is not considered a woman's herb, except when a woman is post-menopausal. I am post-menopausal, and I now take ginseng. I think it has had some positive affect on my libido. I began taking ginseng because I changed careers and now work very long shifts. I was hoping ginseng would boost my energy and stamina. Ginseng has been helpful to me.

Watch out for soy. Excessive consumption of this food (loaded with phytohormones) has been associated with persistent sexual arousal syndrome. Seems to cause more a stimulation or flushing of the genitals, not so much emotional arousal.

Here is a link that might be useful: Soy as an Aphrodisiac

You bring up a very good point apollog, emotional arousal!

MACA it doesn't work suck medicine

I tried Fematril for a few weeks and will never do it again. Instead of enhancing my libido, it made me severely constipated. Obviously, I could not even think about sex.

I threw away the remaining pills and felt better immediately. I would not recommend Fematril.

when I see people confusing 'intimate' with 'sexual' and talking about their libido like it's their blood sugar, I can't help but question whether or not they have any idea what's actually going on in either their bodies or their minds.

maybe we're missing the biological purpose of the female libido...which is to get us pregnant. we may be the only creatures on the planet with an organ that serves no other purpose than sexual pleasure...

but we're still mammals, ones with the ability to TALK about an organic imperative as it if were a 'mood'.

the original poster says she has no interest in intimacy...and the questions that pops into my head include 'when is the last time you were massaged, or massaged someone?' 'so, you have no desire to hug, or be hugged, by your husband?' or even the simple but to the point 'clarify that - no random thoughts about the cute barista, no masturbation, nothing? or are you just bored?'

but here I am, expecting people to have gone down the environmental checklist before they start assuming an organic disorder.

dirty dishes are a libido killer. so it an unvacuumed floor, an unmade bed, and old socks, bad breath, last week's arguement over whose turn it is to *insert chore here* annual reviews, and most of the misconceptions that americans cultivate about arousal, intimacy, and sexual response in general.

Yes, sex is complex stuff. While the most essential biological purpose is reproduction, I think it goes beyond that. We have evolved so that sex and intimacy help hold a couple together for the many years it takes to raise the offspring. And sexual activity may keep us younger longer.

We would probably agree that scheduling, stress, lack of sleep, diet and other lifestyle factors may be the most common cause of reduced sexual activity in young, otherwise healthy people.

But I would say it is more than a biological imperative - hormones affect the brain and our moods. Obviously, not all low libido is an organic disease - but is there anything morally wrong with wanting to jumpstart things (in a context of a complex relationship, dirty dishes and all)? I don't think so.

The most common 'aphrodisiac' jump-start is alcohol, which is a psychological disinhibitor and also increases nitric oxide when consumed in moderation (coincidentally, viagra also increases nitric oxide). Sure, too much drink will actually deplete nitric oxide and change Robert to "Whiskey Dick" (while obliterating any rationality).

While I have no objections to moderate, considered alcohol consumption, I do believe that individuals or couples can try other things to boost their bedroom activity - ginseng, damiana, epimedium, dong quai and other herbs have a long history of use as aphrodisiacs, and there are articles that detailing how this is more than just a placebo effect.

Absolutely, put things in a context of the whole person and the whole relationship. I don't know exactly what the original poster meant by 'intimate' and 'sexual.' But for some people, a nice massage will just relax them, and they will fall asleep.

Here is a link that might be useful: This is Her Brain on Roses

There was not an age of the female or the children of the original post. I am 46 and my children are grown.I take Omega 3 fish oil 1000mg along with a B complex.There is one thing I noticed that has not been mentioned excercise.I don't care how old you are or how many kids you have.Exercise relieves stress and builds self esteem not to mention weightloss,energy,vigor.Cleaning the house or washing clothes does not take the place of good old walking or regular workouts.If I get out of the habbit I start feeling sluggish and not so good about myself.Eating healthy drinking plenty of water and getting proper sleep .I never thought I would be thinking this way I at one time was a dedicated smoker and heavy drinker.If it was unhealthy I was doing it.Doctors don't always say how important these things are.They figure you should know it.And unfortunately sometimes just give a pill When we can repair our bodies and bring back our own health with a little work.

This one may be different, but...I have found that when I take some Blackstrap Molasses, even just a little bit, somehow everything comes ALIVE! Don't mean to sound wrong or anything, but I was not looking for it. It just happens. It seems that it'll make your body just want it bad.

I admit that I generally dont' get enough vitamins or minerals, so it is especially obvious when I take this, even once. I also found that when you mix it in with some Apple Cider Vinegar, it will also clean out the system,which can also help with libido.
HOPE THIS HELPS! ~Karen

Blackstrap molasses has iron, which would help if you were iron deficient. I had incredible cravings for it when pregnant with my first child.

Yes, this is true, mary. It could be that maybe I was. Now, where you say you actually had cravings for b/s molasses, that is really interesting!! You must've really really needed it, because wow, I have to literally force it down, even diluted in water! Thank you for the reply.

There are so many so herbs called aphrodisiacs or Libido boosters. and in a given situation each one may work.

what I am getting at, if your diet is deficient in a mineral , vitamin, or amino acid, eating a fruit, veggie, or herb that replenishes that missing item, may seem like an aphrodisiac to those that take it.

for example Oysters have a reputation for men, the main reason is zinc, but if a man is already taking Zinc, or is not deficient, eating oysters is not going to do anything.

In many cases the only problem is stress, so something that helps with that may be the golden ticket.

I'll recommend a couple herbs, that I feel are "tried and true" dont worry no spam. lol, Grow your own.

These are two Ayurvedic Herbs.

Asparagus racemosus ( Shatavari ) translation means "Woman with a 100 Husbands" :)

and

Withania somnifera ( Ashwagandha )

I am growing Ashwagandha this year, roots are used, as a tonic, also known as Indian Ginseng, and adaptogen for stress and a whole other bunch of stuff.

anyway, look em up, good luck.

eliminate possible medical reasons for this first...have your doctor check your hormone levels.

the herbal recommendations given here are good ones, essentially you wanting warming building herbs and foods, otherwise known as yang tonics. ashwaganda is probably the most famous along with damiana. its really hard for us to figure out our own stuff. once the doctor eliminates medical causes find a good local herbalist to help you formulate something specific to your body type and your needs. good luck!

Actually I've found maca to be very effective for both men and women, but there's a lot of junk maca out there. I am a 61-year-old male, and I work in a health food store. I get asked libido questions frequently. As can be seen from reading the posts, it's a complicated issue without any one-size-fits-all answer. Overall health is a major factor, and so is desire or attitude. Maca is an adaptogen and hormone balancer. It makes you feel more energetic and for many, it enhances libido. Women on birth control should not use it, and women who take certain hormone-regulating pharmaceuticals should at least discuss with their doctor before using it.

i am menopausal at 53. I live with a 32 year old man. We do fine. Sex has many dimensions. First see what vitamins you need. Sometimes lack of energy is the problem. I do ten hour shifts at times, and I sleep a lot when that happens. Sex? I tell him to go do some porn. So jobs can just mess things up. Porn, by the by, can turn you on too if you take time to find what you like to hear and see. Trust me, its out there. Take time to get turned on if he won't do it. If he won't then maybe you need someone else. If he will, experiment. You are sex researcher Dr. Cocktease, and you are going to see what gets the nights hot. Play. make up stories. Fun is something that does wonders for everyone. Do different places. Do you have a yard or go camping? Tents can be fun. We set up one in our living room and played camping like kids once and had a great time. Consider that while the body might have problems (I have serious hip arthritis, for instance), the mind is the most important sex organ there is. Think about what made sex good in the past. Think about stuff you are intrigued by but never did. Imagine these things, find pics of them, watch videos if those are good. Read stories on the web or write ones of what you think would be the best sex night (a great candlelit bath with flowers, a nice night taking turns doing rubs, whipped cream on parts being licked off, pretend meeting for the first time somewhere, dirty talk, whatever) and make time to do them. Get with yout man and talk about it. If you have hope of seeing results, this can turn things around.

Hi, I'm 53 and have a problem with vulvo atrophy. It puts a real damper on having relations with my hubby!
I can't do HRT's due to past issues with blood clots.
I just started using sparingly Maca.
Is there any herbal creams or remedies that can be applied to the skin down there to help rejuvenate this area???
The sex is painful and frankly I'm seriously at a loss here all around. Nothing like being in the mood yet knowing full well that there's no chance of meaningful relations with the hubby when it's painful.
Also, I'm currently on Thyroid medication as well.
And don't even get me started on male doctors who haven't a clue!!

Barbara:

When you first mentioned vulvo atrophy, I was thinking of a simple approach with herbs. But as soon as you mentioned pain, that's a whole new ballgame meaning that there's a deeper condition that can't be treated over the internet. You really need to get professional help with herbs. Possibly, you have a chinese herbalist in the area who will do pulse and tongue diagnosing.

HerbDoctor