Boyfriend-in-a-Box

18 years ago

My "Boyfriend-in-a-Box" was the BEST GIFT EVER! He keeps the folks happy, and my friends from setting me up on blind dates.

Check out my "Boyfriend-in-a-Box."

His name is Miles... "Musical Miles"

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He lives in this box:

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AND comes with his own owner's manual!

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The "Miles package" includes a lovey-dovey card, signed by Miles, and a flower card that I can stick in any arrangement I chose to send myself.

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Miles just can't get enough of me. Check out all the phone messages my roomate took from him:

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AND he comes with both a stat sheet and handy pocket stat sheet.

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I bet you all you other gals out there wish YOU had a Boyfriend-in-a-Box. Well, wait no longer! You can! Not Miles, of course (hands off, ladies - he's mine). But with Boyfriend-in-a-Box, you can get the entire package with Doctor Dave ("You'll love his bedside manner"), Athletic Al (Brawn, brains and biceps!"), Corporate Craig ("Keep your eye on his bottom line!"), Cowboy Clint ("He'll lasso your heart!"), or Firefighter Frank ("One hot hunk to the rescue!").

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Comments (9)

ooojen
18 years ago
Wow! Did you get him for Christmas? What a great gift!
A creative, barefoot romantic with a good-paying job...I think I could develop a crush on your boyfriend. xcccccccccccccc
fishies
Original Author
18 years ago
Isn't that the funniest thing? LOL. I got him as a gift years ago - when I was doing my undergrad, lonely and sans boyfriend, the manager of a store where I worked part time got it for me as a Christmas gift.

I think my favourite part is the owner's manual. This from p.5:

"Your Boyfriend-in-a-Box (TM) is the man of your dreams:
- Attractively packaged and neatly wrapped, he comes with no strings attached... no extra baggage.
- Handsome yet believable, his virile looks aren't so cookie-cutter perfect as to arouse suspicion.
- Easily stored in his own keepsake box, he can be put on the shelf when another suitor enters your life.
- Dependable and always ready to please, he's always there when you need him back. Feeling fickle? No sweat! He'll go with the flow! (Sounds like your kind of guy, Aquarius!)
- No expiration date! His desirability will last and last... until you call the whole thing off!
- And he's portable, too! Transferred to another office out of state? No problem! Just pack him up in his space-saving, crush-proof box and he'll follow you anywhere."

"Your Boyfriend-in-a-Box (TM) has so many uses!
- Flaunt him at your high school reunion
- Make an old flame jealous
- Ward off unwanted advances at work or in social settings
- Make the girls at work green with envy
- Silence your parents, siblings, and friends who keep saying 'You should find a nice man and settle down!'
- (my personal favourite) Decorate your home or office"

Heeeyyyy! Jen, you could get a boyfriend-in-a-box to decorate your dining room!

S.
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fishies
Original Author
18 years ago
Here's the sampler of other Boyfriend-in-a-Box possibilities:
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This just kills me, it's so funny.
jeffrey_harris
18 years ago
No batteries needed, either
ooojen
18 years ago
lol! I didn't think to ask whether there was an options package.
fishies
Original Author
18 years ago
Batteries needed?

Do you mean...?

Oh, dear.

Um, no. I believe accessories are sold separately.

YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME BLUSH!
fishies
Original Author
18 years ago
Jen! Kitty Buttercup is an actual KITTY!

Oh, okay - it makes sense now.

lol
ooojen
18 years ago
Her name's just Buttercup, and I added the "Kitty" part for clarity...guess I missed the mark. Now that I think about it, it kind of sounds like a porn star name...or maybe it's just striking me that way because of the bend Jeff put in this thread.

"Paws on the Keyboard" starring the legendary Kitty Buttercup.
pirate_girl
18 years ago
Testing the waters of salaciousness are you (for the benefit of "New Management")?

Well, since they nixed those several legitimate plant pix Jen had posted where you got 'lippy', we shall see???

Otherwise, a pretty funny thread, I hadn't seen this before!