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Double Talk

Posted by lunamoon 5 MA (My Page) on
Sat, Jul 22, 06 at 22:56

ARE YOU A LEXOPHILE? ( aren't we all?) FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
3. Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress!
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it .
14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. Every calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tain ted. 'Ta int yours and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.


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RE: Double Talk

  • Posted by fishies Ottawa z4a or 5 (My Page) on
    Sun, Jul 23, 06 at 11:58

LOL! Hilarious puns, luna!

One of my favourite quips is credited to Dorothy Parker (Queen of Quips): "You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Another: "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."

Here's one I made up all by myself: "Mental illness is all in your head."
Hey, I'm no Dorothy Parker, but I make myself laugh.


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RE: Double Talk

hehehe!

I like your quips, Shelly! I'm especially partial to the horticulture one..... :o)


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