Cheating Wife - need HELP!

16 years ago

So here goes. I need to get this off my chest:

Lately my wife has been working alot of evening shifts, and for the past couple months has been car pooling with one of her male co-workers. At first I didn't mind at all, I would rather have someone with her in case she has car trouble or something like that, but it seems that they have become a little bit more than friends. You can probably guess the scenario, the phone calls that hang up, suddenly starting to wear extra-nice clothes and make-up to work, talking about 'him' all the time, etc.

I didn't know what to think. If I was out in the garage when she got home (usually after midnight), he would just drop her off and leave, but if the lights were off in the garage and I was in the house (they thought I was sleeping, I bet) they would sit out in the car, often for twenty minutes or more. I asked her once what they were doing, she said "just talking, you know .... whatever" What does THAT mean, for crying out loud?

So! Last night I decide that I'm going to see what really goes on when she gets home. I leave the garage door open, but turn out all the lights. About the time she usually gets home, I go out and hide in the garage and wait. I have some plant racks on wheels that I move in and out of the garage every night at this time of year, so I hid next to those. In a few minutes, his car pulls into my driveway. When his headlights shine into the garage it illuminates almost everything but me. THAT's when I see something I never thought I'd see, something I'd never have imagined would happen to me, something so bad it's really hard to talk about. Sigh! It looks like the little Ficus bonsai I've been nurturing for years has scale. Which do you think I should use - horticultural oil or a systemic insecticide?

Featured Answer

caityross

8 years ago

So when I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was some unusual plant that I'd never heard of, or something with a regional name. I admit to disappointment that there is not some sort of fern or other houseplant known as Cheating Wife.

Comments (16)

kioni
16 years ago
Gosh Al, I'm so sorry to hear this and I've never had to deal with such a thing...I've heard scale can be quite difficult to get rid of. Good Luck.
toadlilly
16 years ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAAHAHAHA! Yah, I looked, and you got me!!!! Cj :)
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hornetwife
16 years ago
I'm confused.
signed,
"one of the new folks"
tapla (mid-Michigan, USDA z5b-6a)
Original Author
16 years ago
For any of you guys who think this might be true - it's not. It's a total joke ................. I think. ;o)

Al
rigo74
16 years ago
New to the forum and had to read your post, great joke and I love the way you came to the grand finale. Sorry to hear about your Ficus bonsai.
Rigo74
LibbyLiz
16 years ago
You rascal YOU!!!

LOL
darkruler
16 years ago
that was really funny."AND THEN I SAW SCALE" LOL
water_roots
16 years ago
You got me...LOL... This was hilarious!
breenthumb
16 years ago
I didn't believe it for a second. YOUR plant wouldn't dare have scale! Sandy
Jenny3721
10 years ago
Hahaha! I am new to this forum and only recently discovered what scale was, because I actually am dealing with a ficus with scale. I wouldnt have appreciated this post before a few days ago but got a good chuckle today. Thanks!

Now off to deal with my poor ficus ;)
tapla (mid-Michigan, USDA z5b-6a)
Original Author
10 years ago
If it made your day a little better, I'm very glad. Do you have a plan for the scale you're preparing to do battle with?

Al
tapla (mid-Michigan, USDA z5b-6a)
Original Author
8 years ago
Fred - I looked through EVERY one of the "Anything You Wanna Talk About" threads for this - TWICE, because I was sure it was in one of those threads. After failing to find it after more than an hour of looking, I changed up the search words and found it straightaway. Now I'm left hoping this is the one you were asking about. ;-)

Al
Mentha (East TN, Zone 6B-7A)
8 years ago
Oh my, I remember reading this years ago. I hope the scale cleared up.
tapla (mid-Michigan, USDA z5b-6a)
Original Author
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
I was all mixed up. I thought I posted it on the Container Gardening forum in another thread. When I posted, I expected to see it pop up in the CG forum; but alas, when I saw the notification that you offered a comment @ Houseplants, I figured maybe limiting my search to the CG forum deprived me of fruit. ;-) Perhaps I did post it in the CG forum, too. Who knows?

Fred sent a message asking about it, which is what sent me looking for it.

Edited to say: I DID post it on the CG forum, so I'm not going nutts, yet. It was a fun thread, too.

Al
tete_a_tete
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
caityross that is brilliant! I love it. After all, we have Mother-In-Law's Tongue, so why not Cheating Wife? I would buy one for sure. In fact, I am going to get hybridizing.

(Should it look like the wife or the bastard she's cheating with? Or the two of them, together, on an old bench in the potting shed? Lots of legs and hair. A tangled mess. Rapturous.)

tapla, so glad that the scale cleared up. Thank God it wasn't Mealeybug. And I hope the others joined in to rub off the scale rather than you having to use poison that can accidently spray in the wrong direction, up peoples' noses.