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I'm freaking out!!!

Posted by Tisha_ z7 OK (My Page) on
Wed, Dec 14, 05 at 15:18

I found a business card from someone from Helzberg Jewelers in Keith's back pocket last night when I was doing laundry.

Now, I am about 99.99999999999999999999999% sure that it's not what first comes to mind. BUT, I am still freaking out. What if it is? OMG

I hate that I always do this though. I hate that I'm this way. Because, now, no matter what it is, if it's not what I'm already sure it's not, I'll be just ever so slightly bummed.

Also, the shallow part of me knows that he doesnt know what KIND of gold or diamond cut or side stones I've always dreamed about. lol In case he asks, LOL, that would be white gold, princess cut, w/ amethyst side stones. :-P LOL


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Okay Tisha, BREATH! Don't freak out! Does anyone else know what kind of ring you would want? I have been on the consulting side of a groom to be buying a ring for Christmas. I have found they talk to people who know the bride to be the best. They tend to reaserch big time before buying that most important ring.

A little tip...you may want to put that card back in his pocket. Even if it means it will go through the washer and become a rumpled blob that he will find in his pocket later. You don't want to spoil his surprise.

Foxy.


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Yeah, so far 3 people have told me I should put the card back in his pocket and just wash it. But, I panicked. He was in the bathroom and I ran and shoved it into the pile of his pocket stuff by the bed. I'm hoping he'll just think that HE took it out of his pocket.

My friend Jennifer knows exactly what I want, but I really think Keith is the kind of person that would just go BUY it and not tell ANYONE.


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

Congratulations. Most jewelry stores have provisions for women to exchange an engagement ring. They know that men don't always pick the kind of ring that the woman wants. Do you think Keith would be offended if you were to exchange the ring?

Larry


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Most likely, yes. That's why I'm freaking out. LOL


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Gil got me a diamond ring way back when that I just hated. It was in 72 and getting married was not a popular thing to do. I loved him so much that the ring did not matter-I only wear it on our anniversary. I don't wear my wedding band either-out grew it and refused to have it resized.

But, I think my ring wearing would be different if I had a ring that I liked better. I was going to post that you try to put it out of your mind but now I am changing this thought to fess up....tell him you found the card and feel like a sh** because you may have spoiled the surprise. Could you then say what your dream ring would be. Tell him you love him and treat him really nice-I mean really really nice.

Please ingnor this comment if it's not what you are thinking. I frequently make bad choices!


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

I'm only going to address the part of your comments that I have put in quotes.

"BUT, I am still freaking out. What if it is? OMG

I hate that I always do this though. I hate that I'm this way. "

If you REALLY hate this abt yourself, I would suggest the following:

Breathe (as Foxy suggested), breathe slowly, deeply & w/ deliberate thought abt it.

Tell yourself to stop freaking out (the more you tell yourself you ARE freaking out, the more you will be, I can almost promise).

Make a decision btwn you & yourself to stop doing this now & stick to it.

That would mean of course, (1) abandoning this conversation altogether here & everywhere else; (2) not discussing it anymore w/ anyone; (3) stop thinking abt it; sounds hard I know, but it goes like this. Every time you catch yourself thinking abt it, just change the channels in yr,. mind, that is to say think abt something else.

Esp. if you think you can only be disappointed in this, JUST STOP THINKING ABT IT ALTOGETHER!!

& of course, if you're not serious in what you said that I quoted, well then, pls. excuse me & NEVERMIND...


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

It is always been my feeling that the bride should have some say in what ring she is going to wear for the rest of her life. When my wife and I became engaged we both went to the jewelry store and she picked out the ring that she wanted. I couldn't of imagined it any other way.

I told my wife about your predicament. We both agree that fessing up that you found the card would be a great opportunity for you to get the ring you want. Diane's scenario is good. We both also came up with a scenario that may work for you if you are comfortable with it. What if you said to Keith, " Whenever I thought of getting married I always had my heart set on my dream ring. I would love to go to the the jewelry store together and pick out the ring." That would let you voice your desire and also include him in helping you pick out the ring. Then when you get to the jewelry store you can can voice your preferences like, "Oh, I really like the white gold rings. My favorite diamond is the princess cut." And then you could say something like, " What would it cost to add a couple of amethysts on the side? I really like that idea."

I hear of lots of women who have engagement and wedding rings that they don't care about and have never told their boyfriends and later on husbands because they were afraid that their feelings would get hurt. What about your feelings? You really deserve to be part of the decisionmaking for your ring. Anyway that's just my opinion.

I don't know if this helps but at least it will give you some ideas.

Larry


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

Like everyone else said, try to RELAX! You dont have too much longer to wait, so you should be ok! LOL!

Now, I guess I have a different take. Me, personally? I would be so excited that he actually went and picked something out all by himself that I wouldnt care what it looked like. The fact that he picked it out without any help, and it came from the heart, makes all the difference. It would make the ring that much more special and it would mean that much more to me. When we got married, we very casually went and picked out rings together. Yes, I got what I wanted, but it didnt have as much meaning as if he would have gotten it himself.

Good luck,

Theresa


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Theresa, I do kind of think like you. I hope that I'll love it and cherish it because he picked it out on his own. But I also worry that I'll be shallow and secrely hate it. Ya know what I mean? Probably doesn't make any sense. lol I just worry too much. I'm very much a glass-is-half-empty kind of person. I always expect the worst.

I also ALWAYS end up ruining Keith's surprises. Not on purpose by any means. And they always ARE a surprise to me. The surprise just never happens when he plans for it to.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a stuffed snowman in one of those grabber machines in wal-mart. I raved about it and he got one out of the machine when he was in Altus for Thanksgiving. Well, as he was sneaking it into the house, I walked into the room and I knew I'd ruined the surprise. I always do stuff like that. Or, maybe he's just really bad at surprises. LOL


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Tisha, let me preface everything by saying that I know nothing about these kinds of things. But we might be getting worked up over something that's not going to happen. What if he was going to buy you a nice bracelet, but then you come telling him that you found the card and start saying what ring you want? i mean, the card could be for anything. sure, there's no small probability that it's for, you know, but you should see the manner of business cards in my purse, and 1/2 of them are places i haven't even been.

then again, i don't really know anything, so i just hope it turns out as you wish and that you are happy. --nikki


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Whooooaaa...good point, Nikki! That could make for a really embarassing moment if he was planning on getting a nice pair of earrings or something!
There's also the possibility that he has already bought the ring, and he's just waiting for them to set the stone. Then if you'd bring it up, you have the ruined surprise AND made for "I don't like your choice" hurt feelings.
I'd keep my mouth shut and hope for the best.
Boy, this really makes the boots pale by comparison, huh?

When I got my ring, DH talked to the jeweler first, and he singled out the ring he liked best, but didn't buy it. He took me in to get the one I wanted, and out of a gazillion rings in catalogs and on display, and without knowing his choice, I picked the same one he had liked!


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Yeah. Exactly. I am like 99.999999999999999999999999999% sure that it's NOT a you-know-what... but I"m still gonna be bummed when I open it and it's not that. lol Ya know? I mean, it's just that it's been 6 years. Come on already! :-P LOL We are the very last ones out of everyone we know who's not married. I'm ready, already!


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Tish, what girl wouldn't love jewlrey for Christmas...even if it isn't a "you know what"? As for being together 6 years...DH and I were together 6 years before we took the plunge. We had moved over 1500 miles together, bought a business together and bought a house all before getting married. The important thing to us was just being together, wether or not we have the piece of paper (as DH calls it) doesn't have anything to do with how we feel about eachother. My suggestion is to put the you know what out of your mind. If on Christmas day you are presented with a you know what then you can decide how to deal with the matter of it not being the exact you know what you dreamed of. You never know you may like what he picked out better.

Foxy.


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

I read your thread entry wrong. I thought you said that you were 99.99999...% sure that you knew what it was. That said, ignore my advice about saying anything before Christmas. But my advice if you do get a ring is still the same. You are a nice gal. If it is a ring, you deserve to have something that you like. That's just my opinion. Of course, as always, my advice is free. I don't take it personally if it's not something you feel comfortable with doing. I am just putting ideas out there so that you have more than one thing to consider.

I really hope you get some nice jewelry for Christmas. Even though you know it's possible you're getting something, you still don't know what you'll get. So it will still be a surprise.

Larry


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Just wondering what happenned?????


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Inquiring minds want to know, Tisha!


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Tisha, where are you??? I'm dieing to know what happened!

Foxy.


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hey tish, i know it's a little late for stories after everyone elses', but i just read this post and i JUST had a conversation with geoff about this same thing a week ago...

we were at a restaurant and he wanted to know what i wanted for xmas/my birthday. we are getting a dog so i told him nothing, but a ring might be nice.
he eluded to the fact he had something planned, just not for the holidays. then i asked him if he wanted to go pick one out together because i'd hate to be stuck with something i hated. he said no, then i told him i was worried because we had gone to a guy's bachelor party before he got married and he showed geoff the ring he got his soon-to-be wife. i figured geoff was being polite when he ooh'd and ahh'd over it, but he sounded so convincing and i thought it was UGLY! i was SO afraid he'd get me something along those lines that i outright said it. he told me to relax and that he didn't really mean it, but he was STILL going to be buying the thing himself. oh well, at least i was direct! it doesn't sound like being blunt is the way to go with keith, but that's the way i handle things so i don't have to keep worrying about them later.

tell us what happened!!!

-ming


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Ok Tisha, I'm dying to know too! What did you get????


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I've been eagerly tuned in because I'm dying of curiosity!


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

I got a watch.


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

What kind of what did you get?

Larry


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Ooops

lol. Proofreading would be nice, Larry. Let's try it again. What kind of watch did you get?

Larry


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

You know, I'm kind of glad it wasn't a ring. I'm funny about that kind of thing, I don't think an engagement ring should also be a present of any other kind, a proposal should be a special event all its own. I think it would be weird to get an engagement ring for Christmas. Even giving one for Valentine's Day is a sort of cop-out IMHO. Just me. So, tell us about the watch.


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Is it just me, or does her brevity suggest disappointment?


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Well I am a little disappointed. But for what it is worth, I love the watch I got from ...my man....It is very special because everytime I check the time I think of him.

Looking back, I asked Gil to marry me. I was so in love and just could not wait for him to ask me. I must admit, I was on drugs(this was in the 70's)

I hope you're OK Tisha.

hugs from Diane


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

It's a pretty watch. It's white gold and has a Mother-of-Pearl face. But yeah, I'm disappointed.


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

I'm sorry to see you're disappointed (pls. excuse me for not saying that in my question above).

But then again, at least it's a pretty watch, sounds like you like it, so I hope you enjoy it.


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Thanks, PG. Yeah, I'll get over it, but ya know...


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

Yes, I can imagine that you are a little disappointed. I'm really sorry that it didn't work out the way you had hoped. The good news is that you got a very nice pretty watch. It really sounds cool!

Larry


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

I'll take a pic in a second to show it off. :-)


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watch

Here it is.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Hi Tisha,

That's a really nice watch!

Larry


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

I never had a fancy ring, but I still have the man! :-) Lots of people have rings put away, and the man no longer around, Tish. And it is a beautiful watch!


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RE: I'm freaking out!!!

Very nice watch, Tisha!


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