Shop Products
Houzz Logo Print
sistersunnie_gw

prayers very much needed

sistersunnie
16 years ago

I hate this, I dont usually whine here, but I am so down and desperate... I need your thoughts and prayers. My husband is so ill with Parkinsons and dementia, very severly so. His behaviors are nearly impossible to manage and he's failing so bad. He leaves me more and more each day and I miss him. Family and friends have stopped coming by, its so hard to see, I understand. He is in a private care facility and I see him daily. I go there and feed, bath him, spend a couple of hours with him. But still he is gone more from me each day. I go through the motions of work and parenting, but without my best friend. I'm tired, sad and lost. Most times my faith and this board get me through, Thank you.

Comments (35)

  • jeannespines
    16 years ago

    Ohhhhh, Sistersunnie...I feel for you and you are now certainly in my thoughts and prayers.
    Words probably cannot help, but know that I am thinking of you. Please try to keep up your faith and your strength for your own sake but also for the sake of your husband.
    I am so sorry he is leaving you more each day and I pray for comfort for you both. God, family and friends carried us through during hard times of illness and separation and I pray the same for you. Jeanne S.

  • kymi75
    16 years ago

    You are in my thoughts and prayers also. HOW DIFFICULT AND LONELY THAT MUST BE FOR YOU. Keep up the faith and the Lord will see you and your loved one through. God Bless You.

  • kat4kittens2002
    16 years ago

    sistersunnie, im not good with words but i will add you and your family to my nightly prayers. may God give you the strength you need to make it thru every day. i can tell that you really love your husband and im sure he knows that also.
    God bless you hun.
    my thoughts and prayers are with u
    kathy

  • use2bcapecodr
    16 years ago

    Sistersunnie,
    I read your post this afternoon and was so sad...I couldn't even post.

    I can't even imagine how very difficult and lonely these days are for you. Not to have the love of your life to talk to and confide in any longer and to see him slipping away from you has to be so hard.

    I wish I had the words to adequately express my heartbreak for you and your dear husband. I'm seldom at a loss for words, but right now...they just aren't coming.

    I pray for both of you. For your husband not to be frustrated and lost, and for you to come to a peaceful place with it all eventually. Please keep the faith. God will carry you through these difficult days.

    And...we will be here for you whenever you need us. We care very much.

    God bless you and your husband.

    ~Sandy~

  • luna_llena_feliz
    16 years ago

    sistersunnie, my heart goes out to you! I know how difficult it was with my mother when dementia set in. She wasn't the lovable and funny woman I remembered for most of my life. I pray that God gives you the strength to handle your burden. Take care and never be afraid to ask for help and prayers from your garden junker friends. Even though I have never asked myself, I always gain such comfort from the love, kindness and generosity of the folks on this forum. God bless!
    {{gwi:76416}}

  • Bright199
    16 years ago

    As others have said....words just don't seem to be enough. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I know that God never leaves his children so you are not totally alone. Wish you were close so we could all give you a big hug. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Brenda.

  • countrygrl
    16 years ago

    Sunnie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. It must be so hard for you to see him slip away from you. I remember when my DH's grandmother had Alzheimers. She was such a vibrant woman, and I only went to see her once, because it was so devastating to watch. I still feel bad about that. Make sure you don't isolate yourself, that you talk about it with others, because you can make yourself sick if you don't take care of yourself, mentally and physically. I'll be thinking about you!

  • princess_mimi
    16 years ago

    Oh, my! Words are inadaquate. I wish that I could give you a big hug. I can only imagine what it must be like. I'd be lost without my best friend too. Faith is the only comfort I know if for things like this. I believe that families and marriages can be eternal. God loves us too much to leave us alone for eternity. Try to think of this time as just a small period of your marriage. I hope that this helps.

    Do remember to take care of yourself. Remember HALT. Don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Do something nice for yourself every day. Read an uplifting, cheery book. Have a cuppa whatever your indulgence is, Take a long bubble bath. Buy yourself a little something. Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket and think of it as God's comforting arms.

    I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

    ~~Mimi

  • TwoMonths
    16 years ago

    You might check out a group that counsels in this situation. If he does not remember you, then possible you will need to visit only every other day or so. Check with his dr and see what he says. He needs you as a loving wife for the long term, not constantly. So you need to take the time off to rest and keep your self well. Then you will be there for him when he needs you. Remember that when a family member is grumpy, it is because they know that no matter what they say or do, you always love and forgive them. Even if his brain does not know you, his heart does.
    God hold her in your loving arms and give her comfort.

  • kirkus
    16 years ago

    Thank you for opening your heart to us and asking for prayers. Carol and I will be praying for you and your husband. Please take care of yourself. Kirk

  • mssunflower
    16 years ago

    Everyone here has said it all so well, that I can only add that my prayers and thougts are with you at this time. I know that God will send his Helper to uplift you and give you the strength that you need. PrincessMimi is right, though, about taking care of yourself as well. Take that moment to smell the roses, feel the sunshine on your face and smell the freshness of the air and let your spirit be renewed. "And on the seventh day, God rested." So should we follow His example.

    Ms. Faith

  • craftyjanjan
    16 years ago

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Please take care of yourself as well. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Just remember the love you two have shared to get you through this time.
    Janet

  • Purplemoon
    16 years ago

    Sunnie, you are in my prayers and thoughts daily. I don't really know what to say other than take care of yourself during this terrible time. And if you can find a support group in your town or even online, it might help. There you will find new friends who can truly understand and talk about this horrible disease so you don't feel so "alone" with it. Meanwhile, we are all here for you too, anytime you need us.

    hugs from the heart,
    Karen

  • deedlesmom
    16 years ago

    My prayers are with you. I don't normally respond in print to prayer requests, but your troubles have touched me.
    Sheree

  • sistersunnie
    Original Author
    16 years ago

    Thank you, all of you. I am touched and comforted. I will get through this, I have always in the past. Just some times it is overwhelming. This is one of those times. He is so noticeable declining, and it rips up my heart. Your thoughts, prayers and words help.

  • susiesunshine
    16 years ago

    Dear Sweet SisterSunnie~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((Sunnie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    Hugs and hugs to you!!!!!
    and more than Hugs and hugs from me......
    I KNOW God has His Arms wrapped around you!!!!!!!
    I KNOW You are in the Palms of His Hands and He is
    Holding you up !!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sistersunnie ~~~~~~ we are each one just passing through on this journey.... we meet those God intends for us and
    each one of us plays a vital role in each others lives....
    I ~~ K N O W ~~~ each one of us F E E LS for YOU!!!!
    We are * * * ALL * * * * Praying for you. We are ALL
    Lifting YOU and Your Family and Loved Ones Up to the LORD!!
    some
    other comforting words.... God will ~ ~~N E V E R ~~~~
    Lead YOU where HIS GRACE cannot keep you.....
    HE IS THERE FOR YOU>>>>> HE W I L L BE THERE for you!!!
    Try to take it moment by MOMENT ~~~~ and like
    all the others say..... Take care of you.....
    Princess Mimi says... HALT ~~ ~~ ~~ Don't get to
    Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired.....
    Eat ~~~ Talk about your feelings Be with Others and
    GET SOME REST YOUR SELF !!!!
    In my Bible it says in Philippians.....
    2 ~~ vs 13 ~~~I can do ALL things through Christ which
    strengtheneth me....
    and
    vs 19..... But my God Shall supply ALL your
    need according to HIS riches in GLORY By
    CHRIST JESUS !!!!

    In Psalms 23 ~~~ and
    the Psalms 139~~~..... Find Comfort in these words....
    God KNOWS YOU!!!
    HE HAS A PLAN ......
    HE CARES FOR YOU>>>!!!!!YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL TO HIM!
    He will walk with you and beside you
    and He will CARRY YOU When you Need HIM TO!!!
    In His
    Precious Love
    I Send you My Love & Prayers...
    ***It is Hard for you... but....
    I am Praying for you
    His Strength and Grace and His Mercy will see you through!
    SusieSunShine

  • nonacook
    16 years ago

    You have my prayers!!!! It is hard to face the fact that they are 'leaving'. Keep the Faith, and try to take it one day at a time. Since he is in a care facility, you are able to get away for awhile. I also know you want to be there as much as possible.
    I have been there--my Mother had alzheimers and I took care of her for 9 months (1995). She could still remember her childhood and I asked questions about that. My Dad had a stroke and was in my care of 3 months(1997. Then in Jan. 2007 my DH was put under hospice care (cancer), and I kept him at home until he died in April. This group was so supportive last year--they asked constantly how things were going and prayed and comforted me. I can't tell you how much that meant! They kept me going and I know they will support you as well.
    Please keep us updated on how things are. We really do want to know.
    God hears our prayers!

  • susiesunshine
    16 years ago

    Dear Nonacook~~~~ My that was a tough YEAR for you TOO!!!
    I will be remembering you in my prayers also !!!!
    and
    It is Good that SisterSunnie has you to talk with
    Because you too K N O W what she is going through,....
    it does NOT make us happy that others experience this..
    but
    it does make us realize .... we NEED each other to
    talk to and pray for and pray with and
    Just to KNOW other people C A R E !!!!!!!!!!!
    * * * *
    ((((((SisterSunnie)))))))) (((((( Nonacook)))))))
    (((((((((( Y O U !!!!!!! ))))))))))))))))))))))))
    who ever you are
    if your
    heart is breaking....... please know there is comfort in
    your friends.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    God Bless
    SusieSunShine

  • susiesunshine
    16 years ago

    ((((((((((((((((((SISTERSUNNIE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    * * * * *
    Still thinking about you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Still praying for you..........
    and wanting you to know how very very much
    our hearts are feeling
    with YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hope someone else that is close to you is seeing
    that you are eating and getting
    sleep and taking good care of yourself !!!!!!!
    Remember
    Let us hear from you
    even if you can't talk much.....
    Just say..... "Hi"
    we will understand..............
    This
    Note is
    From me and also from
    MsSunFLower
    Ms Faith
    &&&
    Me........SusieSunshine
    *
    She is out of town... and ask me to help check on you!!!!

    WE Really Love You and Care About You !!!!!!
    God Is Watching Over YOU !!!!!!

  • desertrat1
    16 years ago

    Sunnie,

    My heart is totally with you. I understand what you are goign through but from a different angle. My Dad, Richard, was dignosed with Parkinsons when he was only 32 years old! So, for most of our lives (my Mom, my brother and 2 sisters) had to deal with the Parkinsosn things (and his personality). HE was a comic at heart (even though some of his antics weren't funny to us) We loved him for trying and yes, there were lots of funny moments. For years my Mom silently dealt with all the dementia stuff without any of us kids kowing what was really happening. I honestly don't know how she did it. Well, everythign does take a toll. In (I think) it was 1982 my parents were watching some show on TV. It was about an experimental brain surgery for those suffering from Parkinsosn. Well, Readers Digest version: He called the doctor and was a perfect candidate for surgery. I was 15. They implanted adrenal cells into his brain to stimulate and or help new growth of neurotransmitters. My Dad did improve for a few monthes. But then eventually he went back to the same as before the surgery and then continued to deteriorate. He and my Mom divorced in 1993 as she could not handle any more dealing with all the problems. When my Dad moved in with his Mom finally the rest of the family realized how bad it had become. With a trip to the local psyche ward and 72 hour holds, my Grammie did not want him back at her home (needless to say). Us kids tried a couple of group homes which didn't work out even for a day. We eventually got him into a Independent Dementia Home which worked for about a month. When he was lucid he was failing in his health. When he was in his dementia state he was healthy physically. On one hosptial stay he told my brother that he wanted a DNR on his medical records. The last nursing home we had him at was where he passed. That was 2001 and he was only 57! My sister and I were the last to see him that morning. He loved Coca Cola and would cry for some. (Some people are addicted to alcohol, Dad was addicted to Coke). Well, I guess when you have pneumonia, you are NOT to have carbonated drinks. We didn't know. WE gave him what he wanted. He had his driving priviledges taken from him, his independence. WE didn't want to take his Coke away from him too. And really, we didn't know.

    Anyway, I do understand from a different perspective. You do need to have some friends as a support group. Commiserating and having fun times with them will keep your mind and heart at bay. I know that there are caregiver groups out there. Look and see if they offer any close to where you live. I think being able to talk with others will help you feel so not alone. I think that's a trap that any of us would feel if we were dealing with these things on a daily basis and not having sane conversations with others who are goign through similar things.

    My prayers and mind are with you.
    Love, Jules

  • nonacook
    16 years ago

    Please let us continue to hear from you on a
    regular basis. We really do want to help. We don't
    think of it as 'whineing', but as something that
    you need and we need, so we can help.

  • mssunflower
    16 years ago

    I second that, nonacook. It is ont whineing but allowing others to provide whatever support they can to you whether it be moral or otherwise. We are all the Body of Christ for a reason and that is to uphold one another during times of trouble as well as times of joy. Pleeeaasse let us know how you are doing and what's going on.

    Blessings,
    Ms. Faith

  • sistersunnie
    Original Author
    16 years ago

    Still here, just not reading much. No time. I'm doing taxes today so just happened to check in. He's worse, falling alot, not eating, doesnt know us most the time. When our daughters come home from school, it shocks them to see the decline. We've all been at this for years now, so I suppose we are doing okay, best we can anyway. It is just so incredible painful and I feel so bad for him. There is a wonderful man locked in that body, and I miss him.

    Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and inquiries.

  • sistersunnie
    Original Author
    15 years ago

    Last week after a lengthy battle with Parkinsons Disease, my husband passed away. My daughters and I would appreciate your prayers still.

  • desertrat1
    15 years ago

    Sistersunnie,

    I am in tears with you right now. I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand it's so hard to lose him and at the same token (forgive me if I seem so forthrigth) it is a relief. My heart mourns with you and your family. Parkinsons is such a wicked disesase. My prayers and heart go out to you and to the Lord who can and will ease your pain and comfort you.
    Many warm and firm hugs!

    Love, Jules

  • kudzukween
    15 years ago

    SisterSunnie..bless your heart, I'll pray for you and your family, and be a shoulder for you to lean on.
    Kudzu

  • susiewantsroses
    15 years ago

    No longer trapped in a "Body of Death". That wonderful man you loved is now set free!!! Yes you miss him for who he was. Yes you miss him for who you were together. Yes you are lonely for a time. But, "JOY COMMETH IN THE MORNING". Use your faith now for your own restoration. God is not through with you yet. Reinvest in your own happiness. Not the same life but a different path this time. New adventures, new conversations, new creativity, new interests, new perspectives, new vision - I pray these things for you. I pray your faith be magnified a hundred fold. You will understand death as 'a step towards something' unimaginably greater!!!!! If Christ went to prepare a place for us then I am sure your husband is there. You will burst on the inside with a drive to build up once again that which the pains of this world have degradated. I speak new life into your very Spirit, Soul, and body. I pray a blessing of health and renewed energy be bestowed upon you. A song of praise and Thanksgiving will burst through your heart that will drown out the sorrow. If your Husband is now in paradise he will expect you to live as well as possible for the rest of your journey here. Watch for these gifts. Expect these blessings. Notice the changes as they swell within you. Cast out fears if they interfere with your Faith. Today I sow a good thing in you in the name of Jesus Christ. Blessed be the Name of The Lord Forever and Ever. So be it.

  • princess_mimi
    15 years ago

    I'm so sorry. I again wish that I could be there to give you a big hug and an even bigger dish of pasta! Both always help me through the tough times.

    We have not forgotten you and your Heavenly Father has not either. Adjusting to a "new normal" takes time. Get through the next few days as best you can. Afterwards give your self time to adjust and recalibrate your life. You will always miss your dear companion but the joy does return to living if you will let it.

    You will of course be in my prayers.

    ~~Mimi

  • tennesseetrash
    15 years ago

    Sistersunnie, my heart breaks for you! I pray you'll find the strength to go on and live your life fully. I'm sure your husband would want that. While he was suffering, you and the family were suffering also. Now you suffer his loss. He was so lucky to have a devoted wife as yourself, it must have been such a struggle. Terribly tough situation. So very sad. God bless you and yours in this very difficult time. ~tenderlee

  • Purplemoon
    15 years ago

    You're still in prayers and thoughts! I hope you know that you are a part of our GJ family, and we'll always be here with support and prayers. I hope you can come back soon, and that we can help somehow.

    The emotional, as well as physical, toll on you (and your daughters)must have you exhausted beyond belief. Such a long battle against such a horrible disease.

    My wish for you is that the joyful memories will replace the sad ones, and smiles will push away the tears. You had a great love, and were blessed in that I believe. So many never know that kind of love in their lives.
    It makes the loss harder, but the memories sweeter.
    {{gwi:76417}}

  • treasureforu
    15 years ago

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers too. I am glad that you spoke out about your situation. It just totally tugs at my heart and I am glad that you are finding so much support here.
    Lots of hugs
    Mindy

  • Marlene Kindred
    15 years ago

    Sistersunnie~

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I know you are feeling very lost now, but as Susie Rose said, your best friend is set free from a very horrid disease. Just this weekend, my family had to place my father-in-law in a facility for Parkinson's. I feel all too well your loss and the torture you have been through. We will all be thinking of you and praying for you and your family!

    (((BIG HUG)))

  • jeannespines
    15 years ago

    sistersunnie...Peace be with you and your daughters...may you find comfort in each other, your family & friends. May you laugh each day with the good memories of this wonderful man and father that you were blessed to be united with. May you find strength to continue in life's journey and see blessings each and every day. God bless. Jeanne S.

  • nursemaid4
    15 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband.
    I wanted to share a saying that always helps me feel a little better when I think about those that I've lost.
    "As long as there is memory, you will live on within my heart."
    You and you family are in my prayers.

  • debby_md_z7
    15 years ago

    hugs and prayers
    are coming your way
    debby