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toomuchglass

Bath tub Gripes

toomuchglass
15 years ago

I've never been much of a "bath" type person - I'd much rather shower . For Christmas ,my son gave me this really big and expensive basket of "bath products" . It had everything ! ----- Including Bubble Bath . hhhhmmmm..... I haven't taken a bubble bath for years - maybe it's about time I took one and use something besides dollar store skin & bubble stuff.

Sunday nights were bath nights at my house when I was a kid - I loved that big old clawfoot tub . It was huge - I was small - I could probably swim laps in it back then.

Which brings me to my current gripe. THIS house also has an old clawfoot tub. I got out my "smell good" bath stuff and decided to take a bath. ( The basket of stuff even came with a scented candle ! OOOoohhhh -- lllaaa --- lllaaa !) What the heck - I'll do the whole 9 yards.

I got the candle lit & tub filled and stepped in it. I didn't remember the tub being so small ! ( or could it be I have gotten so much bigger? ) I couldn't think of a nice graceful way to sit down . I got down on my knees and sorta twisted and fell backwards. ** Tidal wave warning ** I forgot how to get in ! Is there an actual Graceful way to do it ? If there is - I'm sure my body wouldn't bend that way anway. And what's with the "soak in the tub" advice ?

I laid back .... even with the bubbles - the top half of my body was still above water ! bbbbrrrrrr .... and then my legs were too long so they stuck up over the end of the tub . Another bbbrrrr.... How come in the movies - they show someone laying back in the tub -- Bubbles overflowing - and they fit in the tub - legs and all ?

HA ! Must be trick photography - there's no way that can happen. Besides cursing this idea , I began to wonder how I was going to get out. ( Can you say Beached whale ? )

I flipped and flopped and just about emptied the tub -- ON THE FLOOR . There's gotta be a better way . Maybe not graceful - but better. Somehow I managed to get out. Picture wrestling an alligator and that's how I looked trying to get out of the tub. Splashing , dunking,diving,rolling,kicking,grabbing ,moaning,arms and legs waving in every direction. ugh. Do you have trouble ,too - or do you just "float to your feet" like in the movies ? LOL

As I was wiping the water up from the floor - I gave that candle a dirty look and threw a handfull of water on it to put it out .

I can't be the only one with bath tub gripes,can I ? Please tell me I'm not alone !

Comments (17)

  • katishooked
    15 years ago

    OHHHHHHH toomuchglass you're killing me LOL........ Truth is I have only a shower. And for the reasons that you have given I don't think I want a bathtub. Tooooo much work just to take a relaxing bath. Not for me

  • nmgirl
    15 years ago

    ROFLMAO!!!!
    Oh my gosh! I have tears running down my face and my tummy hurts from laughing!
    Oh no! I have to go peeeeeeeeee.......(sound of feet running to bathroom)

  • leveta
    15 years ago

    You are too funny...Our tub is one of those old step up oval shape that come in trailers in the 80's. You can't lay in it either unless you put your feet on the wall in front of you....And believe me that's not a pretty site...Here I always wanted a claw foot...

  • smickerdoodle
    15 years ago

    That is why I have a shower stall that takes up half of my bathroom....and no tub. I outgrew the whole bath idea a long time ago....I prefer the shower anyday...

  • use2bcapecodr
    15 years ago

    If I could ever get down in a tub with this bad leg, they'd have to bury me in it...bubbles and all...because I'd NEVER be able to get back out!!

    ~Sandy~

  • susiesunshine
    15 years ago

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!
    to much ~~~~~~~~~~~ U R 2 Much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That story is ME 2 a T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I also
    have the old claw foot tub....
    and
    I felt like you had been reading my mail!!!!!

    yes... it must B a mistake... how
    they make it L@@K soooooooooo lovely on
    tv....................

    I actually have to turn sideways get... on
    my knees and turn around and to stand up...

    **** My sweet little granddaughter came in once..
    and
    said.... Grammie are you ok !> > ??
    and then she giggled....

    *********** SO Ditto Me for the story !!!!!!!

    Thanks 2 much glass !!!!!!!!!!!!

    You made me laugh.... from the belly...
    and a good ole belly laugh is healthy.....
    so
    they say................. well....... I sure
    got my money's worth $ $ $ $ HO HO HO $ $

    God Bless !
    SusieSunshine

    ************ Hope Howie Mandel does Not have
    a camera in our Bathrooms !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    unless
    it involves $$$$$ MILLIONS $ $$$ OF DOLLARS $$$$$
    tee hee !

  • sunnyca_gw
    15 years ago

    My last adventure in a tub (I like a shower!) was when some dr. said all I needed to do was go home & fill the bathtub up with very warm water & the migraines would just disappear!! I filled it & got in up to my neck (I'm little) well, my face started to sweat & I thought I was going to pass out but I stuck it out for the time he said. I got out & was weak & zoozy but my headache was still throbbing. So much for crazy cures!!!Jan

  • barefootin
    15 years ago

    Been there...done that..and IF I would have gotten a T-shirt, it woulda been the wrong size!You forgot the part about when you finally turn over in the tub enough to get on your knees...the bathtub faucet gooses ya, making you fall back into the tub..and wishing the nice calming candle would just catch the pretty shower/bathtub curtain on fire....causing major damage and no harm to you....and remodel the bathroom and put in a shower with the insurance check!..LOL..

  • mzclassic
    15 years ago

    Your a HOOT! But I have to agree, I don't take baths either and yes, I resemble the remark "beached whale"! I have a huge garden tub and have never put water in it. I know I couldn't get in or out so just let the cats play in it for fun.

    Donna in Florida

  • goldenpond
    15 years ago

    I am fortunate to have a bathtub big enough for two and room for several candles but I must say it lacks the character of the claw foot.
    I can remember redoing our first home and having two claw foots removed.A farmer friend took them to his pastures to use as water troughs for cows. I was just a dumb kid back then.
    I bought my dad a help mate bar to his tub from Qvc or HSN it has a BIG plastic screw to adjust to the tub and he can hold on getting in and out of his shower chair.
    You can always just use the bubble bath as shower gel or put it in your hand soap dispenser.

  • tennesseetrash
    15 years ago

    Ohhhhh, that is sooooo funny! Been there and done that, had to get out of the tub doggie style last time I got in it. A fly on the wall would have been laughing its tiny little wings off.

    OK, if I get in a tub now, I need a queen size tub ... maybe one designed for 2 or more *blush*. The old woman made me unable to get out of the regular tub. She was probably on the wall with the fly that little devil ... ~tenderlee

  • Bright199
    15 years ago

    LOL!!!!!!!!!

    I'm Laughing sooo hard... dh is just looking at me.
    I love a bath all we have are the cheapie fiberglass tub/shower inserts. They are made for short people and I hate slidding glass doors!!! And men don't get it... Dh will call my name from the living room every five min till I just give up on the whole relax thing!!!! Ohh yeah and the hotwater tank is way to small to have a 'hot' bath!!

  • Marlene Kindred
    15 years ago

    OMGosh....ROFLMAO! I loved your description! It is SOOO accurate! We had an old claw foot tub in this house, but after about 15 years, we had to get it out! Mainly because of the same issues you had....aaahhhh....brings back many memories....and makes me sad that I can no longer twist myself into the shape of a pretzel!!! Thanks for the laugh!! Hope you get to use your lovely bath products another time! ;-)

  • Purplemoon
    15 years ago

    I've got tears rolling down my face and the dogs are looking at me like I'm nuts for all the giggling.
    Oh....wine, candles, bubbles....those were the days. sigh.

    hugs, Karen

  • akup_a
    15 years ago

    I'm at work & my co-workers are throwing darts of evil looks my way as I rip & roar with laughter. You paint a very realistic picture. Thought I was seeing myself in the bathroom mirror!
    I love a hot, steamy, bubble bath, with spicey candles, while DH brings me a pot of tea & leaves me be. Then I have to holler at 'im, "Gary Lee, git me outta this tub"! lol!
    Vickie

  • toomuchglass
    Original Author
    15 years ago

    Oh --- You guys are even funnier than me !!! I feel so much better now ..... knowing I'm not the only one that does the "BATHTUB BOOGIE" ....
    ROFL !!!

  • luna_llena_feliz
    15 years ago

    The last time I took a bath, I think I filled the tub with about 6 inches of water. BIG mistake! When this whale-size fanny sat down, it caused a tidal wave of the Perfect Storm proportions! Our fiberglass tub was so uncomfortable, I think I got more kinks in my neck from the bath. When it was time to get out, I had the presence of mind to let out the water ... what little water was left in the tub! I don't remember how I got out. I tend to block out traumatic experiences.

    I don't think I could even get into a claw foot tub now! I have trouble lifting my Bozo The Clown-size feet into a small tub.

    My favorite thing is to sit on my shower bench, put my shower head with the long hose on fire hose setting and just massage my shoulders, arms, legs and feet with it. I have been known to fall asleep in the shower as a result of it. But then ... I fall asleep at my computer at work so that doesn't mean much!

    Thanks for the hilarious story, toomuch. Luckily Bob is asleep and not giving me strange looks for laughing out loud.

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