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concretenprimroses_gw

Are anonymous letters ok?

concretenprimroses
13 years ago

On Tuesday dh and I got a very mean spirited anonymous letter complaining about our driving. After stating that we had no regard for anyone else, the woman claimed that she came by our house with her husband to talk to us after "drawing the short straw" at a neighborhood gathering. But then they didn't because they saw that we have bumper stickers on our cars which (she wrote) according the the Am. Psychiatry Journal means we are dangerous and shouldn't be approached and never think that we are wrong.

Dh just shrugged it off and said he would be more careful to make sure he doesn't go over the speed limit. He drives on the street she complained about everyday at the start of his hour commute to work and its easy to go into autopilot. He thinks she's just a person who may have been honestly upset if he was driving over the speed limit, and she doesn't know how to handle things well. I, on the other hand, found it very upsetting for about 24 hours. (And how is it they never noticed the bumper stickers before if they saw us speeding?) She signed it "Lots of Neighbors". I don't think I speed very much. In 35 yrs of driving, I have gotten one speeding ticket in my life, on the interstate when I was late for a work meeting.

I wasn't raised to think its ok to send anonymous letters. I always talk to neighbors if I have an issue that I just can't let go. Well, of course,in theory there are times I might not: if I thought someone had ameth lab or something similarly frightful and illegal, I would call the police.

Oh well. At least she isn't on my street (an adjacent one apparently) which means she could be a half a mile or more away.

The irony is that the reason there are sidewalks on at least part of the road in question is partly because of the volunteer work with a city committee by my dh. Also he's much more mild mannered than I and HE put the bumper stickers on our cars.

Are anonymous letters ever ok? In this case if she had only chastised us for our driving and demanded that we slow down, I don't think I would be so upset. The name calling and the psycho babble make me feel creepy.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Kathy

Comments (8)

  • sunnyca_gw
    13 years ago

    She may be having trouble mentally, most of us don't have an Am. Psychiatry Journal (I believe it's a monthly magazine) lying around. I have lots of medical books,some from when I was taking nursing course & others I bought as family often asks me if they have something wrong & I can look it up & tell them if they need to get to dr. But I've never needed anything on psychiatry,don't think it is on most people's reading list. Unless your bumper stickers say something like "I shoot first & ask questions later" or you are for a political person they don't like I can't imagine that a bumper sticker could provoke such a strong reaction. Do you know your neighbors on your street well? I think I would ask them if they have ever gotten anonymous letters about their bumper stickers or driving habits. She may have a grudge against people driving through "her" neighborhood. I sure wouldn't try to find her! If others have gotten letters, if they kept them might be time to go to police & let them know that you have gotten them in case anything else happens. I would file the letter away somewhere tho in case other things should happen but she may just be noisy difficult neighbor 1 street removed!!! Do you know anyone on her street? Might ask them if its a good neighborhood & if everyone gets along. I have a feeling if she knows you got upset she would be happy about it. Can you go out another way, people with mental problems can cause lot of problems so best to leave them alone (advice from cop in our area- relative had neighbor that way & even after relative breathed life back into the man's dad( heart attack) he still caused trouble)Hope this is end of it!!

  • concretenprimroses
    Original Author
    13 years ago

    I showed it to a couple of friends on my street. The one said she would be very upset if she got the letter (and she probably speeds there), and the other one said it is mean. And yes we each have a couple stickers for candidates so that is probably what inspired the over the top reaction. The street becomes a less pop. road with no sidewalk and is the back way to the interstate and the way to avoid falling behind school buses in the morning.
    Thank you for answering. I've calmed down about it.
    Kathy

  • kudzukween
    13 years ago

    oh, i'd be p*d :D then i'd put the letter in my circular file (garbage can..hehehe)..at least mentally..because you might need to show it to someone one day!
    then...just smile and nod to any neighbors you might see.

    hey. ya'll must have some great bumper stickers! lol i appreciate humor...especially twisted humor:D

    kudzu..who smiles and nods to HER neighbors :D

  • Marlene Kindred
    13 years ago

    Well, geez Kathy...you must drive like Mario Andretti or something to deserve that kind of letter! ;-) First of all, letters signed from "lots of neighbors" means that most likely the letter is just from this one person. Surely if it were that big of an issue, one of your neighbors would have the spine to mention it in person, don't you think? I'm with the rest of the ladies here, just put in in your file and don't give it another thought....maybe she was just having a really bad day and wanted to share the misery!

  • toomuchglass
    13 years ago

    WOW ......... if that isn't the sign of a person ( or people ) that needs a life - I don't know what is .

    Personally - I wouldn't change a thing that I'm doing. Don't bow down to some annon. coward that can't even step up & talk face to face. Don't even let it bother you . By not reacting - you've given them the "in your face" reply !

    Just reading this post makes me fume !!! In all honesty ... I have a mean streak in me about stuff like this. I'd purposely do stuff to draw them out to catch them & confront them
    ( with a handfull of evidence against them of course ). Your bumper stickers show a great sense of humor !!!! I love it !!! LOL Don't let some sorry A$$ neighbor spoil your life .

    At this point - I'm Pounding my keyboard with anger .ConcretePrimroses - I better go before I break it . LOL This kind of stuff is just uncalled for. You keep doing what you're doing ... it's her problem - not yours !

    Sheesh - did you know you have a G.J. maniac for a pal ?? LOL

  • luna_llena_feliz
    13 years ago

    I am afraid to put political bumper stickers on my car because I wouldn't put it past people to trash my car if they didn't agree with me. People are that nasty in Milwaukee. When they slash the tires on the vans that were meant to take voters to the polls (the vans were rented by one political party), you know they will do anything.

    I wouldn't be surprised if this had absolutely nothing to do with your driving abilities. I think it is all about someone's political narrow mindedness.

    I'd hang onto the letter just in case things take a bad turn and you will need it as evidence.

    Regarding the anonymous letter ... it is the cowards way out. Either that or the mean spirited, afraid-of-getting-arrested-for-being-nuts way out.

  • goldenpond
    13 years ago

    Some people just don't like confrontation,,,I sure don't ,
    I too get upset at speed demons on my street which is one lane and heavily traveled by pedestrians and bikes.
    (No letters tho LOL) I also use to have an old corvette. I never speed ,never gotten tickets but because the corvette had a muscle engine people would whirl around and YELL stop speeding!I finally got tired of that and having cops follow me,(which I endured by dropping my vette to a crawl so slow they got disgusted following me and passed) but I got rid of it.
    Don't let it ruin your life but do be aware of residential areas. I have known children who were killed on sidewalks by a car that lost control for just a minute.
    Kids playing,dogs being walked it is all part of the neighborhood we live in as well as a few grouchy people.
    Get on with your life and be glad they didnt call an anonymous call to the cops who very well could have trapped someone.
    And yes there are those who do not have a life. I had a friend who lived in a subdivision that was always writing stupid citations for her garage door being open, her palm trees needed trimmed etc. She was a single mom and a State Trooper and she said "you know. I could sit at this stop sign all day and write my neighbor's tickets for not stopping but I don't"
    She ended up calling me one day BAWLING (yes a trooper) and asked me to sell her house because she was so sick of the commandos.
    ANYWAY,,,,
    WWJD??????
    Be humble, smile and think of way s to make your neighborhood a safe and lovely place. There are always going to be grouches. I figure if they upset me enough to ruin my day then THEY WIN. Do not let that happen LIFE is too short.
    Make it sweet!
    Peace and prayers
    tanya

  • concretenprimroses
    Original Author
    13 years ago

    Thanks everyone. One thing I've been thinking about is that anytime we speed, we are in someone's neighborhood. (except the interstate I suppose)
    Kathy toomuch, you react like I do. Lucky I have a calm husband or I might have tried to think of something confrontational. Now that I'm calmer, I do think its best ignored (except dh says he'll be more careful. The speed limit is 25 even where there aren't houses and its hilly, so easy to pick up speed.
    Kathy