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goldenpond_gw

Prayers please!!!!!!!4 me and dad

goldenpond
14 years ago

Ok/

I finally hit a low spot tending to my dad's needs today and called an assisted Living facility. I have been bathing him,cleaning up, etc and dealing with my own 3 bulging discs and plantar fascitis.

Of course he doesn't have enough money but they said there was a possibility he might qualify for extra help.

I'm taking him there to check the place out and hoping he doesn't put up a fuss at the thought. Really, it is in his best interest and as much as he LOVES people I know he will be happier.

Pray PLEASE that he get the financial help, and I get the relief of him being in a 24 hr supervised home.

thanks

Tanya

Comments (12)

  • Purplemoon
    14 years ago

    My heart goes out to you, Tanya. Since he loves people, he should enjoy an assisted living place. I've seen some really wonderful places here, a friend is looking for one for her MIL. You definitely need some relief and I pray you get it.

    hugs, Karen

  • susiewantsroses
    14 years ago

    I know exactly what it is like. When I was 15 we moved to take care of my grandparents. Grandmother had a major stroke and was wheelchair bound and Grandfather developed dementia. No matter how hard we all worked, it was never enough. I am a firm believer that "IT TAKES A STAFF" to care for all of the needs that occur.

    As an adult I use to help have a Church service at a Nursing facility every week. I realized that my Grandparents could have had a better quality of life in a similar setting.

    Hubs and I have vowed that when it is our time we will go willingly to a group setting (I'm talking about a full nursing facility). I know there will be arts and crafts classes and activities geared to our age and physical needs.

    Change is never easy. From now until your Dad makes the move you should go to a Caretaker Support Group. There will be a lot of help there.

    We will be praying.

  • leveta
    14 years ago

    I understand...It's hard to be a caregiver...Prayers coming your way...

  • luna_llena_feliz
    14 years ago

    My heart goes out to you goldenpond! I went through something similar with my mother until she finally had a debilitating stroke and ended up in a nursing home. They were wonderful to her there and she got much better treatment than I could have dreamed of giving her. It was a major load off my mind too.

    I hope your father enjoys the community setting and meets lots of fun people who can relate to his circumstances. It will be nice for you to know he is being watched over and in a safe place. Plus you will be able to visit him often!

    Prayers going out for both of you!

  • jitterbug4756
    14 years ago

    Tanya, prayers for you on all fronts.Being a caregiver is very hard, and you need to take care of you, so you will have the health & strenght to still be there for him. I hope this all works out the way you need & that the Lord leads you & your dad to a place you can both be happy with. Interacting daily with others can bring a spark back into his life & give you calm in your heart that he is happy & cared for when you are not there visiting. I pray that the finances fall in line & everything works out wonderfully. Hugs...Judy

  • jeannespines
    14 years ago

    golden ... good thoughts and prayers coming your way to you & your Dad. Take good care of yourself ... so that you can be there for your Dad. Know that you do so much for him & his place. Always so hard to travel the next path...may you and your Dad find comfort & joy in wherever that path leads. Jeanne S.

  • sunnyca_gw
    14 years ago

    Tanya, show up around lunch time or dinner so you can see & smell the food. If food is lousy clints don't enjoy life much. Place my mom was in, that I felt good about as it had good staff & good food is now serving sandwiches for lunch & even dinner. Yesterday it was grilled cheese for lunch & tuna salad sand. for dinner. Really well rounded meal. The juice, banana or milk they want to keep for later, they take away from them so now the residents are "hiding" food. Sad. GF called to tell me her dad is in there since Feb. 14 & can walk 200 ft. with walker. Broke hip. That's slow progress, now he has pneumonia. So that is going down hill along with rest of state. Someone thought Ca. was so advanced- Ha!!! We are behind on almost everything. Less cops,poor care of kids if in system, even lose some, used to turn them out when they turned 18 without even a suitcase. Now all kids no matter their age get at least that. Had nursing homes in private homes that were nice at 1 time but lot of them closed down as patients were abused &/or neglected so I thought things were getting better. Cuts are to the poor, disabled, children, gov't workers all still get cars, ins, credit card for gasoline,slush fund in their office & many other perks, don't know how they sleep at night. Anyway Tanya, look past the pretty stuff & try to get handle on what is going on, ask several residents how they like it. Hope you can find 1 nearby so it doesn't become a "day trip" just to go see him! Good Luck! Jan

  • Marlene Kindred
    14 years ago

    Tanya~

    I totally understand what you're going through and I will be praying that you can get the extra aid for your dad. Both my mom and my FIL are in Assisted living places and they have been a God send. It is so hard on everyone when the parent becomes too hard to care for...it's a hard decision, but trust me, it will be good for your dad and even better for you! Prayers coming your way!

  • akup_a
    14 years ago

    I've been there too with my Dad. My trouble was I couldn't let go. My health, my emotions, my care for him suffered; afterall, he was my Dad, I had to take care of him. The last two months of his life, I was forced by family members to put him in a nursing home & go on meds myself to heal. I lost so much for being so stubborn & let my Dad down anyways. Prayers for you goldenpond. It is a good move to get all the help you can.
    Vickie

  • susiesunshine
    14 years ago

    Dear GP/akaTanya !
    Man these are difficult times for you and your family !
    I hear ya....
    I see tons of encouragement here from the gals & guys at GJ !!!

    **** Thanks for keeping us informed... We KNOW it
    is difficult for you...
    ***
    Remember to take care of YOU !!!
    ((((((((((((((( Y O U ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    (((((((((((((((((((TANYA )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    (((((((((((((((((( D A D )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    (((((((((((((((((((FAMILY )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Tons Of Special Thoughts & P R A Y E R S !!!!!!!!!!!
    God Bless !
    SusieSunshine

    ***Remember
    HALT ~~~
    don't get tooooooooooooooooooooooo
    H HUNGRY
    A ANGRY
    L LONELY
    T TIRED

    *** B R E A T H E ~ Drink Water ~ Eat & Rest
    & talk to friends & GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~ ***************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • debby_md_z7
    14 years ago

    hi tanya
    been there
    my mom had schizphrenia
    i had to make that choice
    but it was the best
    my prays coming your way
    debby

  • kirkus
    14 years ago

    We've been there too and understand what you're going through. We will lift you and your Dad up in our prayers. Keep us posted. Bear Hugs! Kirk

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