The only grass you have a shot at is fine fescue. You may have tried other varieties or even Kentucky bluegrass. They won't work because of your shade situation.

Sand is great!!! Leave it alone. I prefer sand and always buy sand if I have low spots to fill. I have 8 inches of sand in one washout spot. It is the nicest part of my lawn.

If you want to improve your soil, start using organic fertilizers. Chemical fertilizers do nothing to improve the life in your soil. Organic fertilizers do everything.

Nobody can know if you need lime until after you have a good soil test. If you decide to get that done, Logan Labs in Ohio is the place to send it. They test soil from around the world and have been doing an especially lot of lawn soils recently. The Internet lawn community is rallying behind them. For $20 you get a much better test than a $100 test at a university.

Here are the basics of lawn care to get you started.

2. Water deeply and infrequently. Deeply means at least an hour in every zone, all at once. Infrequently means monthly during the cool months and no more than weekly during the hottest part of summer. If your grass looks dry before the month/week is up, water longer next time. Deep watering grows deep, drought resistant roots. Infrequent watering allows the top layer of soil to dry completely which kills off many shallow rooted weeds.

3. Mulch mow at the highest setting on your mower. Most grasses are the most dense when mowed tall. Bermuda, centipede, and bent grasses are the most dense when mowed at the lowest setting on your mower. Dense grass shades out weeds and uses less water when tall. Dense grass feeds the deep roots you're developing in 1 above.

4. Fertilize regularly. I fertilize 4 times per year using organic fertilizer. Which fertilizer you use is much less important than numbers 1 and 2 above.