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tuezday1

Y'all need some fun- 2 brutal questions

tuezday1
18 years ago

Okay guys, I haven't been here in awhile, too busy, but since you're all good at debating life's questions, I've got 2 of them.

First, and lamest by far, a neighbor had one of my trees cut down. I don't think it was straddling our property lines. I'm fairly sure it was definitely on my side possibly by a foot or more. Nothing is going to bring the tree back, I don't even know what kind it was. It just grew fast and leafed out early blocking my view of anything behind it, good or bad. In the fall I was planning on planting a "living" fence along the back of my property line. This tree would have been a part of that. He also had every remaining tree in his back yard cut down. How should I handle this? Or should I just wait and replace it in the fall when I plant my "living" fence and keep the peace? It's really pissing me off though.

Second, and you'll love this. The ex is working for another photographer who shoots nudes of models with my body type. Thin but not anorexic, Rubenesque (curves not bones) but still in single digits. When I saw a proof of his favorite model, my first thought was OMG that could be me. The ex is willing to shoot a portfolio. This is all fine art. Anything even remotely suggestive is thrown out and never printed. By the time he is done with them, it may not even be obvious the work started out as a photo, he often paints over the top of them. His photos start at 5k and go up over 100k. Should I go for it? Keep in mind this is the world I've been living in: art, photography, models, etc., none of this is new to me or outside my comfort zone. What's different is they aren't shooting lingerie, swimsuits, or smut so the models don't have to be 20 pounds less than anorexic.

So what do you all think?

Hey, all of you that met me at the GNYOS last year, when a nude of me is hanging in MOMA, you can say you had lunch with me. Too bad I was clothed.

Laura

Comments (24)

  • momma_d
    18 years ago

    Hey Laura!

    I was thinking about you the other day and wondering where you went. (Like I post real regular -lol)

    The tree thing is pretty sad, that he cut your tree down. It sounds like he was on a roll as far as the trees go and it would be easiest (less hassle) to wait until you're ready to plant the living fence. He's an ass and it's too bad.

    As far as the photography goes, go for it!!!!! It's the world you've been living in (to quote you) and you're comfortable with it. I think it could be a great thing for you.I wish I could pose with you.

    I'm having serious body issues right now and I wish I was confident enough to lay around nekkid and have people take photos of me. I'm barely confident enough to look at myself nekkid these days. Mind you, I'm not at all hefty. I just turned 49 and am not very comfortable with the way my body looks in the full length mirror . Gravity took a long time to strike and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.

    Go For It,

    Laurie

  • aachenelf z5 Mpls
    18 years ago

    Since IÂm an expert at neighbor problems, probably the first thing you really need to do is figure out for sure where your property line is. That really determines if he cut your tree down or not and if you have any legitimate reason to complain. If he did cut your tree down, you have to confront him about it. If for no other reason than to let him know he canÂt do that kind of crap in the future. How you wish to confront him is again your decision. IÂm a big fan of the rational, civil, but determined approach. Yelling and screaming never gets you anywhere.

    When it comes to bad neighbors, you have to let them know early on that you will take action if what they do affects you adversely. If you donÂt, they just keep pushing the line. Whether or not you want to purse all the legal stuff that would go along with that is up to you. I have a feeling you donÂt. I wouldnÂt.

    Secondly, if he did cut your tree down you have to figure out what you want from him. If nothing else an admission of guilt and an apology. This is a turf war. Defend your territory. Who knows, if he realizes he canÂt push you around, he may offer to replace the tree? At least he may think twice about doing this sort of thing again in the future.

    WonÂt touch the second one.

  • tuezday1
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Kevin, that's the thing, I have no idea where the property markers are anymore. The people directly behind me have a fence that actually sits right on the property line in places. This tree was about 3 feet from the edge of the fence, but in looking down the fence line, it was definitely on my side. Now in looking in the other direction, without the benefit of a fence to help the eye, it's hard to tell. I don't recall if this guy was mowing and edging around this tree as I haven't been mowing that part of my yard, some one else has (another neighbor who must feel sorry for me taking care of the house and yard myself). I don't think he was though which would indicate it was on my side. We've both lived here for 10 years, so he's not a new neighbor. It's possible though he's figured out Paul's not here anymore and is taking advantage of that. I haven't talked to this guy in a few years.

    Laurie that's it, I'm 44, how much longer can I get away with doing something like this? The rest of this guys models all go to the U of FL. The very fact I can still get away with this makes me want to at least try it. I could pose for Paul easily enough (for a portfolio), we lived together for 11 years, and, um, it wouldn't be the first time, but whether or not I could take my show on the road.....

  • Driftless Roots
    18 years ago

    Living fence? Is that different from a hedge?

    It sounds like you would benefit from getting a legal $urvey done.

  • cjwatson
    18 years ago

    I'm with Shade. You really need to know where the property line is. If you can find the front and back markers and snap a line and you will know. If you can't find them, then it would certainly pay to get a surveyor out just to find that one boundry, certainly before you plant anything. It will probably save oodles of aggravation and money in the future.

  • aachenelf z5 Mpls
    18 years ago

    Yup, you need to know the property line.

    You might want to contact the Zoning and Planning Dept in your city. At least that's what it's called here. They might be able to give you some info. For instance, if you live on a corner lot they could tell you where to measure from to get an idea of where the property line is. A friend of mine just went through a situation where she had to know her property line and got all the info she needed from that dept. Come to think of it, she doesn't live on a corner so I'm not sure where they told her to measure from, but it worked. I'm sure it wouldn't be as accurate as having someone do it for you, but it might give you a better idea of where yours is.

  • tuezday1
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    I'll call the zoning department and see if they can give me any info. That's a good idea. I have noticed though that anytime someone sells, and their property is re-surveyed, the property lines get moved. I haven't quite figured that one out. There are flags and markers in the ground on the other end of my property, which again indicates the tree was on my side, but the lots were never square so that alone isn't a good indication of anything. This tree used to grow at a 45 degree angle, I guess it had gotten knocked down by a bulldozer when they were clearing the lots. This neighbor who had the tree cut down used to complain about it all the time, because it was growing sideways. We kind of liked it. Anyway, several years ago it got knocked over further when a bigger tree fell on it and we cut it down. It grew back from the stump. My thinking is that since he didn't cut it down years ago, when it was growing sideways, and didn't complain when we did take it down, it's on my side of the property line. When it regrew from the stump, it grew straight and had reached 10 or 15 feet in just a few years. It's not worth getting contentious about, but I'm really disgusted. In his favor, at least he had the stump removed and all the debris picked up.

    Mark, my "living" fence idea isn't a hedge but a combination of trees and shrubs that grow quickly to block my view of a really, really, hideously ugly privacy fence behind me that no one takes care of and is falling apart and falling over. I feel I should be compensated for having to look at the ugly thing.

    Why is it when someone puts up a privacy fence they forget about "the other side"? Why should I have to edge someone else's fence or mow around it? I didn't put it up, but have to take care of it. This pisses me off too.

  • mdahms1979
    18 years ago

    I hate thinking about how many tree are cut down when new owners take possession of their properties. Someone took the care to plants the trees and allow them to grow for who knows how long just to have them cut down in a few minutes. Huge perfect lawns suck especially if they are at the expense of trees.

    I have no experience with disputes like this but I hope everything turns out in your favor.

  • michigoose
    18 years ago

    I agree with Kev, and also agree you need to have the property surveyed and everyone find out where the borders are.

    As for the other, as a woman who was hacked to pieces at the ripe old age of 38, I say go for it.

    uh...Mike....I'm one of those new people who have cut down 4 trees on my property and am set to cut down another (a diseased redbud, but I'm waiting until it is done flowering.) Why? Some idiot planted inappropriate trees, in inappropriate places--Norway maples are non-native and are invaisive edging out the sugar maples...plus they were planted at the south end of my swimming pool about 12 years ago. The black spruce was planted on the corner of my property and looked cute when it was 5' tall I'm sure...but it was now 25, obstructing the house, out of alignment and was slated to grow to 80 feet. Now, I'm left with two Bradford pears which sucker, seed like crazy and are planted too close to the house (I've already spent $400 to trim them away from the house because they were scratching the siding) and a whomping silver maple in the middle of the front yard which is sending it's nasty roots to my foundation....I've also planted 14 new trees (more appropriate species, some unsual ornamentals) all in appropriate areas and plan to plant some more.....this is all on a .75 acre property. So, there may be a method to the madness....on the other hand, the people who bought my house took out 4 of the six flowering trees I planted in the front yard (only two of which needed to go, a redbud which was severely damaged in a wind storm, and a sargent crab which was getting out of hand), so there ya have it. I'm very careful about siting trees, choosing varieties which fit the need/use and taking into consideration mature height.

  • mdahms1979
    18 years ago

    Michigoose you have a good point many people plant things without fully thinking it through. The fact that you are replacing the trees with more appropriate ones is something I think a lot of people don't do. This reminds me of my neighbors who have planted five different trees in front of their house in an area of about fifty square feet. One of the trees is an oak and another a magnolia, they are going to be in for a surprise when things start to mature.

    I do know what can happen when a large tree that is too close to a house decides to loose a limb in a storm, not something you want to have happen by any means.

    I guess my comment was more of a general rant than a direct comment about LauraÂs situation.

  • westoh Z6
    18 years ago

    Hey L. nice to hear from you again,

    1. Get a survey done to know where you stand legally.

    2. As I recall from previous posts, the 'ex' caused you some issues. Are you sure you want to get involved with the ex again, even if it is for some 'classy' pics? That might convey the wrong message to someone. I'd also be afraid that they may show up someplace where I did not intend them to be seen. But them again, I'm 48 and everything on my body is heading south, including hair, chin, pecs, abs, and so on... I would not want any strangers to see me this way...

    bob

  • arthurm
    18 years ago

    The bit about the trees is universal. Mazing how those trees die around the edges of Golf courses or in parks blocking off water views.
    One local council replaced a row of native bushes that died with a shipping container.
    Bob, there is one word for all of that and it is droop.
    Actually this takes me back to a beautiful place in the Pacific North West somewhere near a little lake. Heaven on a stick the tour guide called it. And it was, till you took a little walk in the hinterland. Then it became the land of the Unwelcoming sign. Keep Out, Private, Warninnnn.....

  • michigoose
    18 years ago

    Rofl!!!! Yep....I agree..droop. What an apt description!!!!

  • tuezday1
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Hey, I'm one of those idiots who puts plants in totally inappropriate places. I do it so my landscaping looks "mature" sooner. But plants don't read their culture notes (I've said the same about orchids). One shrub I planted in the front of the house wasn't supposed to get over 6 feet. When I cut it down a few years ago, it was well over the top of the house, 20+ feet.

    Bob, Bob, Bob, I'm 44 and can still get away with it and I'm old enough not to care who sees it. The ex has some honor, in some respects, and this is one of them. Granted, overall.....

    Lis, I got hacked up too but in my case photoshop can fix it. Maybe that's the real reason I'm thinking of doing this. One more way to tell the BC to f**&&^ off. And this time, showing off what I have to the world is on my terms. Not too long ago someone asked if I had any tattoo's. I said yes, four of them. He wanted to know what they cost, I said 20 grand, give or take, and showed him one (it's in the middle of my chest and almost always visible). Talk about silence. Pretty funny.

  • kwmackdog
    18 years ago

    missed your cut the bull8hit style L,
    1.yes a survey is much more appropriate than propertyline by shotgun.
    2. we are not here for a long time but for a goooood time. if you think you will enjoy it, have at it, wear a fur thong with feathers. 44, the clock is a tickin' don't wait till your bod looks like melted chocolate. not that there is anything wrong with that! and in the dark even better. good luck

  • clintdawley
    18 years ago

    Don't even talk about fur thongs! I did wear a fur SARONG to a party once. *grin*

    The tree thing has been covered, so I'll touch the second one. Kev is too modest to do so.

    I think we as Americans have too many hangups about the naked human body. Even more so with the naked male human body. I mean..look at nudity in films..it's mostly female. In some R rated films, a woman's who-ha is in plain sight, but I challenge you to find a full frontal scene where a man is involved (I think of Julian Sands in Warlock or that other cute guy in 28 Days Later).

    If you feel sexy and comfortable, that's really all that matters. How can guilt come from something so natural..I just don't understand..

    Clint

  • westoh Z6
    18 years ago

    L says:

    "Bob, Bob, Bob, I'm 44 and can still get away with it and I'm old enough not to care who sees it. The ex has some honor, in some respects, and this is one of them. Granted, overall....."

    Well then!!! I suppose we'll see a post in the gallery when completed? ;-)

    Good luck and don't forget to smile,


    Drooping Bob

  • Driftless Roots
    18 years ago

    About the living fence, I just had to ask. The first thing that came to mind when I read that was something someone did in their front yard that I see every day on the way to work. The planted NORWAY MAPLES in a continuous hedge circling their front yard 18" APART! In just a few years it was a grotesque, impenetrable mess. I see now that they've chopped them all off short. Maybe there's a method to the madness, but norway maples? Ew!

    And to address your second question: Go for it. For reasons I won't go into I'm pretty sure you won't regret it.

  • kwmackdog
    17 years ago

    sooooooo. what was the outcome? i don't remember reading of any bizarre murders over property lines or photos? did you get back together? have you taken a job in L.A.?

  • tuezday1
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    The outcome... as per the norm, I once again have become too busy with other issues to follow through on this. I decided though I'll just wait and see where this neighbor mows. That will tell me whose property he thinks the tree was on. Unfortunately, in a rare instance of organization , I beat him to the punch with the mower last week.

    No, I haven't taken a job in L.A. Can't think of any reason I'd want to.

    Did we get back together? This is a loaded question. The cat was away long enough for the mouse to find someone else to rock her world. Don't have enough time for this either. Pretty sad.

  • alexis
    17 years ago

    There was some neighbors in my neighborhood who cut down all of their trees just because they didn't want to rake up any more leaves. Seems like a waste to kill innocent trees just for that reason.

  • tuezday1
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    As I was sitting on my deck, once again getting annoyed that a perfectly good tree had been cut down, possibly my tree, my dogs went running through this neighbors yard chasing a squirrel. I think I'll just keep my mouth shut.

  • mrbreeze
    17 years ago

    Those are some good dogs. I HATE @#$%^*& squirrels. Can you believe the fxxxers made a nest in one of my trees??? arrrrghhhh!

    I'd be glad to review those pics for ya...
    Where are the other two tats?
    angfully,
    MB

  • lunaticvulpine
    17 years ago

    of course ill be happy to settle things via covert tactics but then again thats just the sweltering desert heat speaking and the fact that my AC is broke isnt helping things any.. on second thought a good survey is just the thing so this way if youre feeling a little honry?(is that spelled right?) you can mush it in his face and threaten legal recourse but that again is more then likely just me

    Gaston

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