Let's see if I understand


how the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off

While slicing salami at work,


he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day

for 40 years and die of lung cancer,


your family blames

the tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree

while driving home drunk,


he blames the bartender.

If your grandchildren

are brats without manners,


you blame television.

If your friend is shot

by a deranged madman,


you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into

the cockpit and tries to kill

the pilot at 35,000 feet,

and the passengers kill him instead,


the mother of the crazed deceased

blames the airline.

I must have lived too long

to understand the world anymore.


So, if I die while my old, wrinkled butt

is parked in front of this computer,


I want all of you

to blame Bill Gates...okay :)