Gaston,

I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. God, they must suck. I wouldn't know as I've been with my first and only love for over 11 years now...

As for the PSTD, I've been listening to the NPR reports coming out of Fort Carson in Colorado Springs. I am speechless as to what is happening. (I won't go into that here.)

The best thing you could do right now is find some sort of support system and spend some time with your family and friends. Try some meditation or Yoga (something relaxing).

I'll be sending good thoughts your way...

Clint

Sorry to hear about the breakup. I'm going to go out on a harsh limb here and suggest that maybe she was just using the ptsd as an excuse. I can't really know so feel free to tell me that was out of line.

My sister has ptsd and as much as I love her and try to, I know I can't truly understand what she continues to endure. I do what a I can to encourage her to be her for herself and try to be as independent as possible. She's stronger when she's taking care of herself than when she's leaning on the boyfriend du jour.

Clint is right in suggesting something like yoga or meditation. Just be warned that meditation can make ptsd worse if not done correctly and completely. It's not a path to "feeling good"; it's a way of becoming aware of everything -- including trauma. The trick is to stick with it to become aware of what's beyond that so it can go away. (Everything is impermanent) Experienced supervision is strongly advised.

And don't discount the value of being young and quite handsome!

lol thanks clint and shady i just feel like i had a huge gouge taken out of me and its raw lol

any ways im gonna just taake your advice shady
and clint id love to meditate but it seems to exho it self when i do so im just gonna need to chill and resume my life which is gonna be alittle hard

lol i need more friends out here .

Hi Gaston,

First off, I am very sorry to hear about the breakup. I agree that the ptsd may have been used as a handy excuse for the breakup. That would be my first inclination.

Support groups and therapy can work wonders for helping someone cope with traumatic events. So can doing things you enjoy, like putzing around with your orchids.

I hope you know that you have more friends to lean on than you think you have...

Penelope

Gaston,
I can't even imagine how hard is your situation, because i had never been through one, not even similar... But i have problems too (like everybody else). Sometimes I just lock myself on my greenhouse and try to forget about them. This sometimes works for me, but in your case, it can make things worse. I am 3 years younger than you, and probably most of my problems can be similar to yours. My plants and animals help me dealing with my «"teenager problems"» and i never had some kind of depression (thanks God). One of my tricks is to laughting a lot. There have been a lot of recent studies about depression and stress and their effect on health. They did not make a pretty picture. These things can kill you. And they do it slowly. But you have a good medicine to them. Laughting! One of the good things about laughting is that it spur the body's production of nitric oxide, a chemical that helps dilate blood vessels and gives you a good feeling. It may sound a little childish and stupid, but it isnt. You dont need to laught like a stupid clown or a psycho. Just try to do something new, something that probably u didnt had time before. Have some fun, while time heals your wounds. Go out and wach a comic movie, man. And dont forget about the music. It also helps me getting rid of problems. I hope you recover soon.
Michael

Hnmm. Breaking up sucks...but, as the survivor of MANY breakups, I finally found out that sometimes, they just don't work out. Yah, its painful, but you get over it...and I'm with the others...sometimes when people don't feel the same or are happy in a relationship, they give a reason (indeed, sometimes the dumpee begs for a reason) so they hang it on a problem...any problem will do...from "Your nose is too short" to ptsd....or whatever the person views as a handy "reason."

So, pick up your chin, look at it as a good thing while it lasted, and think, hey, if I was that happy with someone who felt they weren't right for me, think of how happy I'll be when I find someone who feels the same way."

Just live your life, don't try too hard. A friend of mine had a group of friends who had a rule, which lasted even into college. You were allowed three days to be mopey, cry all the time, etc. But then you had to start progressing. The number of times I obsessed about people and ranted and raved at myself unnecessarily, I wished I had a group of friends who did this!

I feel for you...I've been there! But then, I also dated this guy for 6 years who I finally married at age 30 and have been married to him for 16 years....Good luck. The old addage "there's more fish in the sea" is accurate. Now go get your pole and bait!

lol thanx every one i needed that. im feeling much better now. it's funny how you think that youre gonna be happy with some one and then when they leave youre like oh no no one will ever be able to be better and then... a few days/weeks after you find some one better then a little farther down the road you keep meeting people who have traits even better then the ones before

i really appreciate every ones kind words and in retrospect i think i was kinda brain washed by that girl. but now i open my eyes and i see that i have tons of time and alot more energy to do what i love to do .

Clint ,Shady,Penelope,Michael, and Michi
thank you very much for lending me your shoulder and advice i really appreciate it.. and michi you were especialy right lol there are an infinite number of fish in the sea =D

thanks alot every one.
P.S. I've even started to loose weight again too lmao.

"farther down the road you keep meeting people who have traits even better then the ones before"

That's why we should all be prepared to drop our relationships at a moment's notice when something better comes along. I'M KIDDING!!!! One really doesn't know if someone's "right" for them without lots and lots of experience with them. But I'll save all my wisdom in that area for another time.

I'm glad you're feeling better and happier. People gots to be able to be happy on their own before they can be happy with someone else.

Now if only _I_could start losing some weight again!

Shady, just don't send it to me. I'm going to CA in March, and I need to buff up...heck, I need to get scaled and re-drilled!

I can get you the number for a good spackle/plaster and cabling guy...

But is he cute?

Would I bother with him if he wasn't?