Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
Oliver Herford

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
Voltaire

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl