Wednesday morning observations.

9 years ago

I just finished reading the morning newspaper. Our 'metro' area boasts about 150,000 residents, so our paper is not as small town as many might think.

What with the comics, police notes, University of Illinois things and the crossword, I get through it while I have 2 cups of coffee.

One of my must-reads are the obits. Now, wait a sec; let me explain. Before I retired in January of last year, I was an office worker at our county-owned nursing home. Regularly, there were about 200 residents. Some were there for therapy only after being in the hospital, while most were there long-term due to multiple, chronic medical conditions. Because I am who I am, I became friendly with most of the long-term residents, along with their family members. When I read the obits, I look for names that I recognize from my time at the nursing home.

Some of the names, I mumble to myself - Finally! Quality of life issues were a big concern there. Many of the residents did not have much, but they continued to work hard at staying alive. When one of those dies, I can sign a bit of relief at what finally happened. So, I read the obits every morning.

Almost daily, there is a notice of the death of one of our community members and it states the reason for the death. I don't understand. Almost always, if the cause of death is listed, it is after a "courageous battle" with cancer. Never anything about MS, or heart disease, or dementia. Always the fight against cancer. Why is that 'battle' always noted as being courageous?

I don't understand why families mention that special situation in the death notice. What about those folks who have a leg amputated due to poor circulation due to diabetes? What about the active elder who fell and broke a hip; but being confined to a bed for rehab is more than the body can take? I don't get it!

Jim

Comments (6)

rob333 (zone 7b)
9 years ago
Finally? I don't think I'd ever say that. I don't like people suffering in any way though. I agree they are free from the pain and suffering.

Why is it a fight? Why is it courageous? Because they didn't give up. There are some who do. Some don't want to battle it. Going through chemo is a battle. I have never seen a notice that gives the cause of death, and it seems like a privacy issue. But what do I know?

As to the others who die from other reasons, I find them courageous too. Maybe it should be said more often than in an obituary.
jim_1 (Zone 5B)
Original Author
9 years ago
Robin,
After several years working at the nursing home, I recall many of the long-term residents who, when asked, state that they just want to die. They are ready for it. Their lives have become less than ideal. Yes - the word "finally" is appropriate for those folks. One gentleman has been there almost 18 years - strokes and amputations and an inability to speak leave him not much to have in the way of positive feelings.
Jim
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rob333 (zone 7b)
9 years ago
"I don't like people suffering in any way though. I agree they are free from the pain and suffering."
west_gardener
9 years ago
There is an acute/rehab center a few blocks from our house and one block away from a city park.It is heart warming to see the parade of wheel chair bound people being wheeled to the park for an outing.
Glad you interacted with the patients and their families, Jim.
jim_1 (Zone 5B)
Original Author
9 years ago
The median age at the nursing home is 87. And the typical stay is about 2.5 years. There is always someone there over 100, but there are a few people in their 50s (mostly MS). Of the 200 or so residents, about 40 percent have dementia at one level or another. And always, there are many on hospice.

As a county-owned facility it is not expected to make money (it hasn't for many years). About 60 percent of the residents are on public aid. Originally (more than 100 years ago) it was the county's poor farm. A lot has changed during those years, but they still take care of the community's needy folks.

I no longer work there, but I still stop by on a regular basis to visit with my "family."

Jim
sweet_betsy No AL Z7
9 years ago
It is kind of you to stop by, Jim. You probably make their day. As we all know, not every resident has caring friends and family members. When I volunteer at the local home, I see how much a smile means to some of them.

I also scan the obits each day and sometimes have the same reaction that you do--finally.