Shop Products
Houzz Logo Print
purpleinopp

Do you miss manners?

I'm appalled lately by the number of very *nice* people out there, literally out there, not just on forum posts, but in person, on facebook, on the phone, who completely ignore a compliment. (The polite and correct thing to do is to simply say thank you. And maybe add something like, "What a nice thing to say" if you feel like it. Babbling about not being worthy is an insult to the payer of the compliment. It's in Miss Manners. Once said, you're free to segue the conversation as you wish, usually away from yourself.)

I really dislike lapses in civility, especially when they're so easy to observe and this particular one seems especially rampant and glaring lately. It's not like you're expected to send a card (unless, of course, the compliment was received in the mail. Then mitigating circumstances within the particular relationship would dictate proper decorum.)

When do you miss Miss Manners?

Comments (10)

  • rob333 (zone 7b)
    11 years ago

    The door. Isn't the hierarchy, if someone is elder or infirmed or with very small children, they get to go through first, with someone holding the door? Then women, then men, then others. Each holding the door or "passing the door" to the next person at least? I can't tell you how often someone is racing to come in a door I am opening for myself to go outside. I've gotten to the point, with glass doors, that I'll obviously side-step whichever door they're picking if they look like they're coming my way so as to leave it free for them, stay out of their way, but there are still some who will change to whichever door I pick, obviously trying to go in where I am going out???! What?! While I'm not old, infirmed, or with small child, I am still elder to the university students running me over. I believe it's called entitlement. There was a new thing a couple of years ago where these students would ask me to push the button for them on the elevator? Yep, they did. No, I wouldn't get it for them. It quit happening. There was one student who came through that sent guests to my desk for me to escort to her desk as though she was senior faculty. Wanted to skip right on over 10 years of tenure. I put an end to that one. Entitlement needs to find some humility these days. True, not feigned, humility.

  • lilosophie
    11 years ago

    Cellphones in stores. People are so intent on their conversation, they block the isles, and because they are busy yakking, they don't hear the "excuse me" from someone wanting to get to the shelf. Usually the conversations are about some item to pick up or to choose, used to be one went shopping and brought the stuff home and no discussions about it.
    A funny one happened at Walmart in Ukiah, the man spoke really loud, so we could overhear - he told the one on the other end that he had arrived in Dallas and was ready to go to the meeting...Ukiah is in California! Likely Hanky Panky was going on

  • anneliese_32
    11 years ago

    Manners in general have gone down the drain. I don't want people to go out of their way on account of my age, I am able to move fast and seldom need help, except when in a grocery store something in up on the top shelf and in back and I need somebody a head taller to get it for me. But like you said, Robin, the entitlement of some people. I hold the door open for a mother with kids and a baby carriage and the next 5 people walk through like this is my job - to hold the door open. Or I walk with my husband, he has on one side a cane, I hold him on the other side and people gripe because we do not move fast enough or that I should walk behind or in front of him and not take up room.

  • lindac
    11 years ago

    The prevalence of "oh, you're fine"....when I say "Excuse me"...either because I accidentally bump someone or because I am excusing myself to get by them as they are blocking the aisle.
    And backwards baseball hats in restaurants!

  • Tiffany, purpleinopp Z8b Opp, AL
    Original Author
    11 years ago

    These are good examples, sadly I've seen a lot of everything mentioned.

    Especially the door! Not just about holding it, but about letting go of it without see if it's going to hit anyone. How many times do you need to use a door before you "get" how it works?

    Why don't we teach manners and social decorum / convention as part of school curriculum? These things can benefit everyone, every day of their life, no matter their eventual career decisions.

    Nobody likes being around rude people, so why do so many people let themselves BE rude?

  • Castaway_Kitty
    11 years ago

    I like the idea about making manners part of school curriculum! Although, parents should teach manners. My mom gets upset with my sister because her kids never send thank you notes when my mom sends them presents. The kids are old enough to do that. My sister doesn't think it's a big deal, but I do - and we were raised the same, so go figure - some people just appreciate manners more than others I guess.

  • Lamora
    11 years ago

    I am an assistant Cub Scout Leader for 8-9 year old boys.. and I know they spend all day in school and have a hard time wanting to stay still after, but what really gets to me, and the leader of the pack is really noticing it, is the lack of a simple "thank you" "please" or "may I". There is one boy that will hold the door open for everyone else. He seems to be very well mannered. But the other 8 boys? I really have to wonder what they are like at home. Do their parents even notice?? or care??

    I grew up on at least a Thank You and Please, and I try to get them to understand this. Are they too young to understand? A Thank You goes a long ways in my book.

    To answer your question~~ Yes, I do miss manners.. it is getting to be a lost art...

  • west_gardener
    11 years ago

    It depends what you call manners. I've been around people who have impeccable manners in public, kissy, kissy on both cheeks, a slight bow, a kiss on the hand, etc.. but on the home front some of them are totally dissrectful to the family members, especially to the wife.
    IMO, manners are taught, I'll take a simple "Thank You" and a "you are welcome" any day.

  • anneliese_32
    11 years ago

    Manners definitely start at home. Kids learn by watching. If the parents say please and thank you as matter of fact at home, the kids pick it up and they copy how the parents act in public. The schools can't teach everything. Table manners the same way, you don't need to be formal about it. A reminder here and there should be sufficient.

  • Tiffany, purpleinopp Z8b Opp, AL
    Original Author
    11 years ago

    That was my point about basic manners being part of school curriculum. Obviously a lot of parents are dropping this ball. Parents who have no manners can't possibly teach them to their kids, should it even occur to them.

Sponsored
Interior Style by Marisa Moore
Average rating: 4.9 out of 5 stars57 Reviews
Northern Virginia Interior Designer - Best of Houzz 2013-2020!
More Discussions