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Posted by marian_2 Z6 ARKozarks (My Page) on
Tue, Feb 27, 07 at 17:52

If one of you have ever felt that you are 'losing it' how would you want others to treat you?
What if it were one of your loved ones who felt as though they were 'slipping'? How would you treat him/her, or how would you want others to treat him/her?
Some of 'us' are living with beloved family members who have mental problems. Hopefully no one is chastizing the ailing one for being the way they are.
Some of 'us' understand what it does to you to see a loved one deteriorate, and to be responsible for the loved one's care.

I am not, and was not, angry at anyone. I am shocked at the anger expressed towards me. I do not understand the fact that a few have taken my post so personally.

I have observed, over the years, that those who have animosity towards someone because of the other person's 'defects' often has a similar condition come upon themselves, or one of their loved ones. This applies to both physical and mental 'defects'.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Understanding

  • Posted by jain n ca 9 sunset 9 (My Page) on
    Tue, Feb 27, 07 at 20:31

marian everyone deserves dignity and respect... the first word i think of is kindness. then compassion... empathy... but there for the grace of god goes i... respect your elders...

i am very sorry to read you are upset, it is hard for many to slow down and try to understand others real feelings and circumstances. i recall you have a very difficult situation and live rather isolated which can make your stresses feel insurmountable. i just hope that everyone tries to understand each others situations and accepts them for who they are, shortcomings and all. a little bit of kindness can do more then many would ever imagine...

RE: Understanding

Jain ! You cannot imagine how this touches me ! Thank you!
I am not often brought to tears, but this is an exception.
God bless you.

RE: Understanding

Hi Marian

I think you must be suffering from winter cabin fever, amongst all your other issues. Its tough spending too much time indoors with too many things to cause stress. Guaranteed to put you out of sorts with the world and have temporary episodes of losing it as I well know! :- ) I doubt that anyone was trying to cause you pain by chastising you; more along the lines of come on, cheer up I think. You are definitely a key, distinctive voice on the Idylls and I always notice/look for your posts even if I dont comment on them. (Im very bad at trying to remember what I planned to say/comment on by the time I actually sit down to write a post) Some sunshine, warmer weather and some signs of spring growth will do wonders for all of us. (Hi Jain! Great picture is that from right now?!) Spring comes to you well before us Marian and Im counting on you to post some of the first flowers of spring

RE: Understanding

Thanks, Woody. I always have great admiration for all you accomplish dispite your disabilities. You are an inspiration to me. I hope you are right about the cabin fever. I also have health issues that need medical attention. My checkup isn't scheduled until the 8th of June. I think I need to move it to a much more closer date.

I open 2 windows on the Idylls when I want to respond to everyone. That way I can go back and forth from what I am posting, to the already posted. That works good for me. I used to write down notes, but that grew too lengthy...

BTW, You are another that I am missing on the Idyll threads. I hope you are okay.

RE: comparing

I think we have a tendency to compare ourselves with others. I have been thinking a lot about our dear member who suffered so much, but was so serene and patient. The differance is... she had a great helpmeet, who wasn't ailing or deteriorating mentally ( at least I never heard that he was), and a very close family.
It is wonderful that so many have such close commardarie with their DHs. My mother never had that, and it has been many years since I have. I often wonder if I were 'an island to myself' (as some are), if I would have a differant outlook/attitude. If everything was about 'me', instead of about someone else?
This dear member once said I was a "martyr". This may be true, but I find nothing wrong by being that. I much prefer being 'guilty' of that, than being a 'me' person.
We are definitely living in a 'me' generation, and look what is happening. There is more insecurity and unhappiness than ever before. Never was there so many suicides, espacially amongst the youth. Never was there the meanness towards clasmates and teachers. And what about the rudeness that was addressed in the past thread? I find much more kindness among the elderly than the younger generations. What is wrong with putting others before yourself? Thank God, it appears a lot of youth are starting to practice this. If I were not 'tied' to home, I would seriously consider doing benevolent work. I believe it could be an answer.

RE: Understanding

  • Posted by jain n ca 9 sunset 9 (My Page) on
    Fri, Mar 2, 07 at 11:25

it appears there is a fork in the road... one road is dark, filled with thorns, ready to jab, cut and tear and your tender flesh, the other road is open and wide, with a kind hand to reach down and pull you up with kindness and help dust off the dirt...

Here is a link that might be useful: for marian

RE: Understanding

Thank you jain. That is beautiful!

RE: Understanding-afterthoughts

Now that I have had time to get myself together, I have came to the conclusion that the ones who spoke so bitterly about me are coping with troubles of their own. I believe/hope they will come to the realization that they did miss take my motives. Those who really know me, know that I am not malicious....I am prone to flying off the handle when hurt or misunderstood, but never did anything mean to anyone. I do seem to cause a lot of missunderstanding in things that I say. I 'think' I am saying the right thing, but it comes out wrong. Calling an individual mean names is somethingI hope I never do. Oh yes, I may 'think' it, but I hope I would never say it, at least where they may hear or see it.
I believe we will be held acountable for the things we say.

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