Chocolate vine is a ridiculously romantic name for a nasty exotic invasive, Akebia quinata. I always wanted one until I visited Glasshouse Works and saw it smothering their property, utility poles, all of the other trees, a barn...

Heavenly bamboo is a complete misnomer for that fugly Nandina stuff.

ah, but 'Love in the Mist (Nigella damascena - only a real curmudgeon could complain.........and on the other hand - 'Stinking Gladwyn' (Iris foetidissima) - language is wonderful

ok.. stinking gladwyn made me laugh of loud.. and now i have spit all over the monitor... one might call it a juicy gaffaw .. lol .. thanks god i wasnt sipping coffee ...

anyone have this one.. i might want it.. just to force peeps to smell it.. lol ..

ken

Hi Ken - it doesn't actually stink that much. If you tear a leaf across it smells of burned roast beef. It self seeds in my garden and is useful because it grows in dry shade. Unusually for an Iris the seeds are bright orange berries which persist in winter.

Here I go again - being didactic and serious. Never mind - you know I can't resist.

nummy.. well done roast beef ...

i could plant some onion and garlic nearby...

and something remiscent of rye..

and when i trod thru.. a roast beef on rye ...nummy ...

anything smell like mayo???

but i digress ...

ken

ps: love in the mist.. one of the most invasive re-seeders i have ever owned.... i swear 10 years later.. i still get rouge old seed sprouting..

it was planted near mallow.. same as the above ... i just cant be done with them ...

I repeat - BURNED roast beef.:-)

you havent seen how mom cooked ... nothing like that burnt sunday RB .... ROTFLMBO ...

ahhh .. the childhood memories ...

ken

ps: actually its a joke .. moms RB was to die for ....

Poke in Appalachia means a bag-- as in "never buy a pig in a poke." (you can't see what you're buying.) But what that has to do with pokeweed, I don't know.

why do they put pigs in bags??? ..

and then offer them for sale... its all so confusing ...

are we talking paper bag.. or plastic grocery bag .???....

so many questions.. so little time ....

ROTFLMBO..

ken

ps: and how big is this pig ...

I thought poke meant jail...

I was curious what the origin of the common name was - see link below... It's from the native name Pokan for a red-juiced plant used for a stain or dye. The juice was commonly used by early settles as ink, and I found several references that said your Constitution was written with poke juice as ink!

Pokey is the word for jail see:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37290

Here is a link that might be useful: Pokeweed common name origin

Ah, it's a shame I haven't had time to check in here for awhile, I've been missing some great entertainment. I see the winter doldrums are setting in. Ken, how can you not love nigella (Love in a Mist)? It sounds as though you prefer its other name, Devil in a Bush. No argument from me on the Chinese Lantern though. How about Lily of the Valley, doesn't that conjure up lovely images, until it shows up in the middle of something or should say everything else.

Ever get money from a money plant?

Peace from your peace lily?

Naked ladies (Lycoris) - I don't think many men are expecting to be shown red or pink flowers after hearing this name.

Naked Ladies LOLLOLLOL!!!

Here is a link that might be useful: {{gwi:193331}}

Ooops dummy me - double post...

You'd think we were taking about naked MEN...

This post was edited by mxk3 on Fri, Jan 25, 13 at 22:27

Following mxk3's train of thought...

Family Jewels Plant ;-] Enough said.
CMK

This post was edited by christinmk on Fri, Jan 25, 13 at 23:05

Now that's a difficult one to top!

I probably shouldn't take this any further than it's already gone, but to continue on a theme I did grow a nice hairy balls plant last summer.
They were a little exposed in the front yard so maybe next year I'll try growing them in the backyard where it's a little more private. Don't want people staring.

Here is a link that might be useful: don't google this youself... safe images of HB plant

All it takes is a little inspiration to look, and, sure enough, such a thing exists as a plant of erectile approximation, of course to be planted between every other of Kato's plants. Probably not mystical unless you're a nun, but seems the natural next progression here.

DH, who usually has nothing but reactionary input, will get ideas for a theme garden, an ode to testosterone, if I show him this discussion!

In recognition that I've taken this too far already, #3, Buddha's hand is mystifying! Although following this link may lead to a vicious circle. Click at your own risk, and you may not consider it rated G.

No, Hairy Balls tops Family Jewels - especially if the Hairy Balls are planted next to the Naked Ladies!

I laughed out loud at Kato's link - I think it takes some balls to wear that SHIRT LOL!

This post was edited by mxk3 on Sat, Jan 26, 13 at 15:10

I'm pretty sure that Hairy Balls and Family Jewels are the same plant but I digress....ROFL!!!

how did we go ... from me asking why they bag pigs.. to everything that followed after it???

winter doldrums ???? .. lol

anyway.. love in a mist.. prolific reseeder .. i killed it 10 years ago.. after a two year run ... I AM STILL GETTING SEEDLINGS ... HATE is not a strong enough term ...

ken

Oops, sorry, you're right, Ken. The names are supposed to be useless, not accurate...

And I think it's safe to say almost everyone is completely garden-bored!

Lucky bamboo - it's definitely not bamboo. Has it brought anyone luck?

Hey, you did say "useless"! You didn't didn't say in what way, LOL. Only one that might find those Family Jewels/Hairy Balls (yes, one in the same plant) useful is the lady-version of that plant ;-)
CMK

It's still a long time until spring. How low can we go?

i GW searched pokeweed.. and came across this brilliance...

anyone have anything ON TOPIC ... lol .. to add ...

ken

That whole thread had me snorting.

Ken, mayo with roast beef on rye? Don't ever step foot inside a NYC deli, you'll be laughed out of the place.

Red Birds In A Tree....Sounds a lot nicer than it is, well, unless you somehow manage to keep it alive.

Tickseed doesn't sound appealing.

Lol...naked ladies...I have some...this is the first year...and sure enough, I just found them flowering...So I said aloud "hey, there's some of those naked ladies"....got DH's attention QUICKLY.

Quote:

"Now that's a difficult one to top!"

It is a VERY EASY one to top in Latin(imho):

RUBUS COCKBURNIANUS ( Rub-us cock-burn-i-anus)

RUBUS COCKBURNIANUS ( Rub-us cock-burn-i-anus)

LOL!!!