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Slightly OT , but funny

Posted by lilyfinch 7 Middle Tn (My Page) on
Sun, Aug 10, 14 at 22:13

Today I posted an ad for a free large Japanese maple shrub . Came with our new house , and isn't planted on center of the dining room window it blocks , and it had been hacked into a giant meat ball . Still , I know they have value and if someone wanted it they could have it for the digging . My ad was very friendly , and I did not imply it needed to go away immediately ! I would totally wait til spring if someone wanted . I wrote I planned on putting in a fountain in spring .
I received the grumpiest email ever from someone who was not happy with me ! I thought y'all would enjoy it . I wrote back as super friendly as I could , and laughed but geeze why spend the time writing to me to make me feel bad about myself ?! Good grief . May all his tomato plants get that rot people dread . And 1000s of stink bugs take up residence in his yard . ;)

Here it is :

August is the WORSE MONTH to plant or transplant a plant. You are obviously not a gardener.

It's sad you have control over this japanese maple, which, with the proper care and attention would have grown into a breathtaking understory tree, probably worth upwards to $2000 today. It's obvious from the photo, that another non-gardner has hacked the crap out the tree trying to make it look like an ugly shrub. My suggestion....go ahead and cut the tree down. Why torture it with transplanting?

I don't understand why cement-minded (fountain) people like you tolerate any living thing around your house. How about you cut everything down and have your yard cemented? You'll be so much happier. I'm sure.

Or maybe you could build a new house in a Walmart parking lot. Not a blade of green in sight and you'd be surrounded by your class of people available to stop in anytime for a beer. You could help jump start their cars when they're ready to go home, or maybe you'd let them sleep in your trailer out back 'till they sober up.

End .

Wasn't that just the friendliest gardening soul you've met ? I must say , I have gotten lots of plant freebies before even in August and as long as you water them well , they are free , so if you have success , great ! Watering is key . And you never know , someone may be a collector and want it .
Off to pour concrete over my beautiful lawn ... Lol

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

Wow. You gotta feel bad for someone who would pour that much effort into composing such a thoughtfully vitriolic letter to someone for something so trivial. The prose is a beautiful example of the slippery slope rhetoric, wherein because you are volunteering to give away your tree, ergo, what you really want is to live in the Wallyworld parking lot. Impressive logic on display here.

Anyway, sorry you had to put up with that, and more sorry for that poor soul who lives such an angry life. Stink bug indeed, in human form!

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

I once had someone on Garden Web, who only posted in that thread and thankfully never again, violently attacked me because my personal experience varied from something Michael Dirr had written. I don't even remember what the exact topic was, but the poster must have been a nasty character indeed.

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

  • Posted by dbarron Z6/7 (Oklahoma) (My Page) on
    Mon, Aug 11, 14 at 6:45

Well, apparently the person was having a bad day and assumed you meant the tree must go in the August heat (not a likely recipe for successful transplanting).
All types...just throw that email away, or if you like the email that much, award the tree to him...on the condition of immediate removal (lol).

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

I suggest replying in the same passive-agressive mode

Dear tree hugger

I must express my relief that trees give you so much pleasure since it is obvious to me that you must be profoundly deprived of any normal human relationships. Thankfully, plants provide an outlet for creative nurturing and patience so a few more years of exposure to their civilising influence and who knows, you may even find a cure for the debilitating rage which has scarred your existence. I can only send out my heartfelt wishes, on behalf of myself and my beer-drinking friends (I have many) that you find yourself in a happier place in future years.

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

Thank you for the responses ! I can honestly say if I haven't been gardening around 10 years and was new to it , I'd have been so mortified and would have thought all gardeners were like that ! But he's a first In ten years for me .
Camp , I wish I had your letter before I sent mine ! Hilarious . You have the perfect tone in that response .
On a another note , I received a quote from a local landscaper to dig up my beds for me ! I can sit back and watch someone else do the hard work with his tractor , and I get to do the fun planting ! I have two weeks to finalize my design . Still no idea what I am doing . But I will post pictures for sure ! :)

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

I think you should write back:

"So... is that a yes? Do you want it? When can you pick up?

LOL. Sheesh, some people just need a life. That's a bit over the top, eh?

I guess part of it may come from the mentality that seems to be prevalent on freecycle, craigslist, etc., that of what I call "instant pick-up". Many people who post things want them gone absolutely immediately. Which makes me laugh. It's been sitting in your closet for 20 years and now you want me to pick it up in three hours or it goes to the dump? Really?

That then extends to the takers. I don't know how many times I've posted something (with no pick-up deadline) and the person who reponds includes "I can be there this afternoon". To which I always reply, there's no rush, you can have it, come at your convenience. But I think because of this insistence on the part of the givers for immediate pick-up, the takers are afraid that if they don't materialize instantly on your doorstep, the offer is off the table.

So maybe Mr. GrumpyPants thought you wanted it gone today.

As for the rest of the email, well, he's just friggin nuts. No other explanation.


RE: Slightly OT , but funny

"I think you should write back:
"So... is that a yes? Do you want it? When can you pick up?"

A perfect response.

"I once had someone on Garden Web, who only posted in that thread and thankfully never again, violently attacked me because my personal experience varied from something Michael Dirr had written."

Are you sure it wasn't Michael Dirr himself? I hear he can get kind of touchy. ;)

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

I was thinking about it , and his email had his name attatched to it . Unfortunately for me it's common enough that it is impossible to pin point exactly who he his , even with google stalking all of us . I would love to dig it up myself and deliver it to his door step. I could only imagine his shock !
With a note saying , please take care of her , I'm moving to Walmart and can't care for her anymore! Lol

RE: Slightly OT , but funny

I know the sender of the nasty note wasn't from PA!!! We don't sell beer in our Walmart, only in Beer Distributors or you can buy 6 packs ONLY in bars. We have a "State Store" system here that the legislature and governor has been trying to get rid of for years.

Geesh, what a wet blanket. He needs to spend some time on anger management, I think.

You can transplant almost any time of the summer if you take the proper precautions and water and shade your transplants.


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