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The dog lives here...

Posted by sheepco MN z4 (My Page) on
Tue, Nov 15, 05 at 23:51

Maybe you've seen this before...

Notice to People that Visit Our Home:

1) The dog lives here. You don't.
2) If you don't want the dog to be near you, stay outside.
3) Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I and so do you.
4) OF COURSE he smells like a dog.
5) It's his nature to sniff you, please feel free to sniff him.
6) I like him better than I like most people.
7) To you he's a dog. To me he's an adopted son who is hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn't speak clearly. I don't have a problem with any of these things.
8) Dogs have advantages on kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don't need a gazillion dollars for college...and if they get pregnant you can sell the kids.

(unfortunately, author unknown)


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: The dog lives here...

Sheepco, that's precisely my attitude toward my 4-ounce attack parrot! Of course she tries to chase you away; this is her territory. Birds bite, and you have to learn how not to push her buttons.

Funny how dog people have trouble accepting that...


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RE: The dog lives here...

Ahhh, I miss the smell of dog in the morning! Thanks for sharing, Sheepco. :)

Brenda


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RE: The dog lives here...

LOL, that is the way it is here.

Let the Dogs out, Let the Dogs in......that is my life.

And if you want to see my DH mad, make the Dogs wait a minute. They should never have to bark more than once.

And our dogs seem to live uncommonly long years. The last one we lost was a Boxer who was 16 when she died, peacefully, with her head in my lap.

Dogs Rule! after them Cats Rule, but the Cats don't realize that.

Janie


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RE: The dog lives here...

My DH needs to see this. lol The dog is his baby. She was a cute viscious stray that I picked up one winter hoping to find her a home. He insisted we keep her and she would turn out to be fine with a little love.

He was right. All it took was a little love, a dog trainer, an animal behavioralist and constant supervision to make her a loving member of our family. lol


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RE: The dog lives here...

Goodkarma - nothing like a free dog huh? LOL! Gotta love 'em!
Sarah


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RE: The dog lives here...

i totaly luv that! its funny!


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RE: The dog lives here...

Free dog, hummm. Let's see... Bathing and grooming, haircut if a long hair, neutering, shots, treatment for heartworm and other internal parasites, flea and tick treatment, collar, dog tags... sounds like about $225.00. Yep. a free dog is a great thing. LOL, chewed up dress pumps, $100.00, repair and cleaning of down comforter, $95.00, carpet shampooing, $50.00, hole in bathtub because she thought I was drowning, Bathroom door repair because she thought I was drowning, replacement of section of kitchen linoleum where her claws made multiple holes when she saw her food dish for the first time, Doggy manicure, $25.00, whole beef tenderloin for company dinner snitched from kitchen counter, $40.00. New suit trousers destroyed when she saw a rabbit while I was walking her on a leash. $75.00. Emergency room bill for skinned knees and hands, $200.00. Unused theater tickets because I was in the emergency room, $150.00. Yep. A free dog is really great. :) Sandy


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RE: The dog lives here...

PRICELESS...

This is good for a whole new thread...

Free dog... (actually SOB) owner is gonna euthanize the 6 month old pup snuggling her head into my shoulder while we carefully stretch her broken leg out to take x-rays. Cheaper to get a new Lab than repair a major fracture to the growth plate of her femur she got 'jumping' out of the back of an open pick-up. NOT. $600 later (2 orthopedics and a spay) she still limps, and is gun-shy (not that I care) but is the best 'snuggler' I've ever had. And I love Lily dearly even tho she has a fondness for water hyacinths.

Take two... Sheriff's dept. picks up dog run over by owner and then abandoned, neighbor reports it, it's 10 days before they get her to us - multiple pelvic fractures and ... you got it... bad fracture to the growth plate of her femur. After 5 months of after care with Lily, and knowing this dog has already been dragging herself around on her front legs for 10 days, the decision was made to amputate her rear leg mid-femur. I took her home to recuperate, and never let 'Kate' go! And she had a much faster recovery. My Mom asked me why I didn't get a 'normal' dog. (She was kidding!)
Just today 'Kate' was out in the field on 3 legs hunting like her instincts tell her to do. Her nose for pheasants is a plus, 'cause this 'free' dog would be here to stay anyway!

And then there's my golden retreiver 'Emma'(I actually paid money for her) that tore a 4' x 6' (that's right, feet) corner out of my kitchen linoleum the first time I let her out of her crate for 30 minutes while I was gone (at age 9mo.) ...it was a test run :(, so attractive to have a duct taped square instead of an entry way rug :).

And then there was the night I ran out to the barn at 1am to check on a ewe that was due to lamb. Came back in 20 minutes later and it looked like it had snowed in the living room. SOMEONE had eaten the couch pillows, and Emma looked mortified!

Like I said, Ya gotta love em!


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RE: The dog lives here...

Sheepco, I should print out your last post for my folks... They think Tater Tot is bad just because he pulls used paper towels out of the trash can and chews 'em into little pieces... which he is, and I used some aversion therapy this past week with mousetraps set on the sides of the trash cans (covered, with a paper towel, so they wouldn't snap on his nose or paw)... he had one go off on the low trash can in the den and one on the garbage can in the kitchen, and BOTH really DID mortify him... sent him to HIDING under the wheelchair my mom's using to prop her feet up since the motor in her lift chair gave up the ghost (and the way he looked was PRICELESS).

He's been back in the low can in the den a little since then, but I haven't caught him back in the garbage can, yet... When I do, the mousetraps will go back up... It's tough to do, because I have to do it very carefully to make sure he doesn't get hurt, and then they sometimes go off on ME, which makes ME jump, and the paper towels get knocked off easily, and they get set off easily when you're putting something in the can... but ya gotta do something, huh?

I still think many of the best people I've known were dogs!
Jeff


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RE: The dog lives here...

They eat less **50 lbs a week..**,

don't ask for money all the time **Isis needs a new collar everytime she goes near Loyal**,

are easier to train, usually come when called **depending on the dog these two can be debatable**,

never drive your car **no but they might eat it**,

don't hang out with drug-using friends **but you may find druggies drawn to your dogs**

don't drink or smoke **Loyal loves beer, I won't give him any but if you leave an open can where he can get it he'll tip it if it's empty he licks the top**

don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don't need a gazillion dollars for college **this is true though some people worry about doggy fashions and spend a gazillion on doggy day care**

...and if they get pregnant you can sell the kids.**yeah and if you're lucky you might get your dog food money back**

Adrea


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RE: The dog lives here...

lol, adrea! my old man doesn't hvae a college fund- it goes toward his 6 month plan at the vet!


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