Update; Thank you for B-day wishes

15 years ago

Hello to all on the GW.

Carla, thank you (and others) for thinking of me on my birthday.

Please forgive me if I do not remember what or when was the last time I posted. Things have been so crazy around here.

I graduated and remember posting about that. Right after I graduated we found out that Dewayne had Stage IV colon cancer.

I dropped out of my masters program (clinical social work) to care for him in the fall. We finally married in December, he died on Feb. 25 of this year.

My grandson is doing Ok. He's grieving quite a bit, I have him in grief and loss play therapy. He's starting to do a bit better now.

I am ok. Not sure what I am going to do right now. I have the option of re-registering for the fall semester, or going back to Austin. There may be other options that I don't yet see, so I'm taking it slow and letting it all play out in it's own time.

The private university I was attending raised it's prices yet again, and they do not offer scholarships for masters, even with a GPA like mine, so I am considering my options for other schools.

I miss Dewayne quite a bit. We made it almost seven years. He said that the cancer was the greatest blessing he had ever received because he learned so much about love, truth, and being grateful for what and who he had in his life. He died peacefully, at home, in my arms. It was just under a year from the time he was diagnosed.

My roses are all still so beautiful this year. Dewayne loved Jude the Obscure the most, and they are stunning this spring. In full bloom right now, with just about everything else.

It amazes me how well and beautiful my roses are, even while being neglected. I did go out in early February and take my anger out on them while pruning. Cut out some dead wood etc. but that has been the extent of my care. The fragrance on my front porch is just Heaven... no other words for it.

I send my best blessing to all.. much love, Terri

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Comments (7)

henryinct
15 years ago
Hi Terri,

I too haven't been posting for a long time. So sorry to hear about Dewayne. These things seem to start happening all the time when we get older. People you have known a long time dying, people facing real problems in retirement or approaching retirement. The problems in the economy are affecting everyone and many students can no longer continue their education. So sad. Have you considered on line courses? Cancer has a way putting life into focus. My own mother was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. We thought it was the end. We didn't even think she would survive the surgery because she is 94. She survived and she is going to be OK. I'm glad your roses are nice. They certainly help us get through times like these.

Henry
zeffyrose
15 years ago
Hi Terri---

Nice to hear from you.

I am so sorry to hear about Dewayne-----There are no words for something like this.

Hope you can get back to your studies---

Please keep in touch so we know hoe you are doing.

thinking of you,

Florence
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carla17
15 years ago
Terri, I'm so sorry to hear about Dewayne. He is lucky to have had you there for him. It's good to hear your roses are doing well, Jude is one of my favorites too. How is Boy? Do you ever see him? Thank you for stopping by. Take care of yourself and keep us posted when you can.

Carla
hippychick
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and concern.

Henri, with the degree I am working on there are no online courses, as we must do practicum. I have thought of changing my degree just for that purpose; but it seems that very few in "academia" take online degree's very seriously, though that trend is beginning to change.

Florence, how very nice to hear from you. I hope that you are doing well.

Carla, yes, I do see Boy. I still have him and he is doing great. I had to stay away from riding when Dewayne was so ill. I did not get to ride often in the last year, but sometimes even brushing him and hugging him helped me to ground and stay sane.
carla17
14 years ago
Terri, what Dewayne said about being blessed with cancer for the experiences and life lessons really touched me. I can't get it off my mind. :-)
PS, although my daughter is 16 now and more into boys, her love for horses never waned.

Carla
kathwhit
14 years ago
Hi Terri,
I am so sorry to hear about DeWayne. It is good that your last days together were so good. I also lost my first DH, and there is no way to get through it except to just take a day at a time. Take time to grieve, and you will know when it is time to continue your studies.

Our roses are a gift this time of year. God Bless you.
Kathy
hippychick
Original Author
14 years ago
Thanks Kathy. Thank you all for keeping up through the years.
I went ahead and enrolled for the fall semester. I am not doing anything else and my mind wanders too much.
Dewayne wanted to me get my masters. My education was important to him. He wanted me to have any opportunity that i wanted.
Best of wishes to all.